Julius moseyed down the hall to his office and continued

thinking about the meeting. And Gill—did he show up today!

Calling Pam «the chief justice» was terrific—and accurate. I have

to help Pam integrate that feedback. Here`s a case when Gill`s

vision is sharper than mine. For a long time I`ve liked Pam so

much that I overlooked her pathology—maybe that`s why I

couldn`t help her with her obsession about John.

Julius turned on his computer and opened a file titled, «Short

Story Plots»—a file which contained the great unfulfilled project in

his life: to be a real writer. He was a good, contributing

professional writer (he had published two books and a hundred

articles in the psychiatric literature), but Julius yearned to write

literature and for decades had collected plots for short stories from

his imagination and his practice. Though he had started several, he

never found the time, nor the courage, to finish and submit a story

for publication.

Scrolling down the lists of plots he clicked on «Victims

confront their enemy» and read two of his ideas. The first

confrontation took place on a posh ship cruising off the Turkish

coast. A psychiatrist enters the ship`s casino and there across the

smoke–filled room sees an ex–patient, a con man who had once

swindled him out of seventy–five thousand dollars. The second

confrontation plot involved a female attorney who was assigned a

pro bono case to defend an accused rapist. On her first jail

interview with him she suspects he is the man who raped her ten

years before.

He made a new entry: «In a therapy group a woman

encounters a man who, many years before, had been her teacher

and sexually exploited her.» Not bad. Great potential for literature,

Julius thought, though he knew it would never be written. There

were ethical issues: he`d need permission from Pam and Philip.

And he`d need, also, the passage of ten years, which he didn`t

have. But potential, too, for good therapy, thought Julius. He was

certain that something positive could come of this—if only he

could keep them both in the group and could bear the pain of

opening up old wounds.

Julius picked up Philip`s translation of the tale of the ship`s

passengers. He reread it several times, trying to understand its

meaning or relevance. But still he ended up shaking his head.

Philip offered it as comfort. But where was the comfort?

How Arthur Lived

_________________________

Even when there

is no

particular

provocation, I

always have an

anxious concern

that causes me

to see and look

for dangers

when none

exist; for me

it magnifies to

infinity the

tiniest

vexation and

makes

association

with people

most difficult.

_________________________

After obtaining his doctorate, Arthur lived in Berlin, briefly in

Dresden, Munich, and Mannheim, and then, fleeing a cholera

epidemic, settled, for the last thirty years of his life, in Frankfurt,

which he never left aside from one–day excursions. He had no paid

employment, lived in rented rooms, never had a home, hearth,

wife, family, intimate friendships. He had no social circle, no close

acquaintances, and no sense of community—in fact he was often

the subject of local ridicule. Until the very last few years of his life

he had no audience, readership, or income from his writings. Since

he had so few relationships, his meager correspondence consisted

primarily of business matters.

Despite his lack of friends, we nonetheless know more about

his personal life than that of most philosophers because he was

astonishingly personal in his philosophical writings. For example,

in the opening paragraphs of the introduction to his major

work,The World as Will and Representation, he strikes an

unusually personal note for a philosophic treatise. His pure and

clear prose makes it immediately evident that he desires to

communicate personally with the reader. First he instructs the

reader how to read his book, starting with a plea to read the book

twice—and to do so with much patience. Next he urges the reader

to first read his previous book,On the Fourfold Root of Sufficient

Reason, which serves as an introduction to this book and assures

the reader that he will feel much gratitude toward him for his

advice. He then states that the reader will profit even more if he is

familiar with the magnificent work of Kant and the divine Plato.

He notes that he has, however, discovered grave errors in Kant,

which he discusses in an appendix (which should also be read

first), and lastly notes that those readers familiar with the

Upanishads will be prepared best of all to comprehend his book.

And, finally, he remarks (quite correctly) that the reader must be

growing angry and impatient with his presumptuous, immodest,

and time–consuming requests. How odd that this most personal of

philosophic writers should have lived so impersonally.

In addition to personal references inserted into his work,

Schopenhauer reveals much about himself in an autobiographical

document with a title written in Greek, (About

Myself), a manuscript shrouded in mystery and controversy whose

strange story goes like this:

Late in his life there gathered around Arthur a very small

circle of enthusiasts, or «evangelists,” whom he tolerated but

neither respected nor liked. These acquaintances often heard him

speak of «About Myself,” an autobiographical journal in which he

had been jotting observations about himself for the previous thirty

years. Yet after his death something strange happened: «About

Myself» was nowhere to be found. After searching in vain,

Schopenhauer`s followers confronted Wilhelm Gwinner, the

executor of Schopenhauer`s will, about the missing document.

Gwinner informed them that «About Myself» no longer existed; as

Schopenhauer had instructed him he had burned it immediately

after his death.

Yet a short time later the same Wilhelm Gwinner wrote the

first biography of Arthur Schopenhauer, and in it Schopenhauer`s

evangelists insisted they recognized sections of the «About

Myself» document either in direct quotes or in paraphrase. Had

Gwinner copied the manuscript before burning it? Or not burned it

all and instead plundered it for use in his biography? Controversy

swirled for decades, and ultimately another Schopenhauer scholar

reconstituted the document from Gwinner`s book and from other

of Schopenhauer`s writings and published the forty–seven–page at the end of the four–volumeNachschlass

(Manuscript Remains). «About Me» is an odd reading experience

because each paragraph is followed by a description of its

Byzantine provenance, often longer than the text itself.

Why was it that Arthur Schopenhauer never had a job? The

story of Arthur`s kamikaze strategy for obtaining a position at the

university is another one of those quirky anecdotes included in

every biographical account of Schopenhauer`s life. In 1820, at the

age of thirty–two, he was offered his first teaching job, a

temporary, very low–salaried position (Privatdozent) to teach

philosophy at the University of Berlin. What did he do but

immediately and deliberately schedule his lecture course (titled

«The Essence of the World») at the exact same hour as the course