“Liessa,” he cut in, worry creeping into his features, mixing with bemusement. “What do you have to tell me?”

The words caught in my throat, choking me. I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. “Ash,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. My stomach twisted into knots, and then the words tumbled out. “I’m…I’m pregnant.”

CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO

The confession hung heavily in the air between us with a tangible weight that felt like it could collapse the walls of the pool. I waited for a reaction, but Ash, well, he had absolutely none.

He stood there, one arm around me and one hand against my cheek. His lips were parted. Worry was still etched into the striking lines of his face. He was as still as a statue. I didn’t think he even breathed.

My concerns began to grow. Maybe he hadn’t heard me. Or perhaps he hadn’t understood what I’d said. That seemed silly, but he still hadn’t moved.

“I’m pregnant,” I repeated. “You see, I’ve been nauseous on and off for the last several, well, weeks to be honest—that doesn’t matter right now. That’s why I came down here. I needed to try to wrap my head around it before I told you.” My heart still pounded. “So, yeah, I’m totally pregnant.”

Ash’s eyes widened, and a jolt ran through him. His arms fell to his sides and he jerked back. I breathed in and held my breath. He went completely still again, except for his chest. It rose and fell rapidly, and as the seconds ticked by, it felt like we were teetering on the edge of a precipice, where one wrong move could send us plummeting into the abyss.

“Pregnant?” he rasped, his voice wavering with surprise and disbelief.

“Yes.” I nodded, feeling stupid tears crowding my eyes.

He went silent again, and I really began to think I should’ve made him get out of the pool.

The flames from the dozens of sconces on the rough walls suddenly flickered wildly as a pulse of energy left him, stroking the eather inside me.

Or maybe I should’ve kept this to myself until I figured out how to tell him without practically shouting it in his face.

His skin hadn’t thinned, though, and he hadn’t frozen the pool, so I thought perhaps that was a good sign.

But he stared at me, and I didn’t think he saw me. He was focused on some distant point, and I could only imagine he was exactly where I’d been when Aios confirmed what I already knew.

I wanted to give him time. Gods knew I’d needed it, but my heart felt like it might come out of my chest. Each beat echoed with fear because everything would change if he didn’t want them. I tried to say quiet, but for once in my godsforsaken life, I couldn’t stop myself.

“I know this is a surprise. I was shocked, too. And we haven’t even discussed something like this. I don’t even know if you want children, and even if you do, the timing is so, so unbelievably bad.” I folded my arms around me and began to tremble. “I’m so sorry—”

Another jolt ran through Ash, and then he was suddenly right in front of me, sending currents rippling through the pool. He clasped my cheeks. “Fates, Sera, don’t apologize.”

“I feel like I should,” I whispered.

“Fates, no. I just…I wasn’t expecting that.” A tremor ran through his hands. His face was pale, his features stark. “You’re sure?”

“Y-Yes. Aios confirmed it. That’s what I was doing when I left the throne room.”

A wisp of eather swirled through his eyes. “When I felt your anxiety spike today. I’d been feeling it on and off all day, but I thought it was about the Primal meeting…” He briefly closed his eyes. “That’s why.”

“I got sick, and it wasn’t the first time.”

“Why didn’t you mention you were feeling unwell?”

“I thought it was because of the Ascension, like leftover effects. Or from…from everything else.”

He shook his head. “I don’t understand.”

“Which part?”

“You said you’ve been feeling unwell for weeks.”

“Yes. I was actually nauseous while I was in Dalos,” I said, wrapping my hands around his wrists. “I just thought it was because of all of that. But—”

“That doesn’t make sense, Sera,” he said. “You are only recently not mortal. We would not have been able to conceive before then.”

“Yeah, see, I thought that, too. But then I was like, how mortal was I really, with these embers in me since birth? And the first night we were together, I had your blood. Just a drop, but apparently, that one drop was super powerful.” My fingers pressed into his hard skin. “But I also had your blood after that.”

He opened his mouth but didn’t speak.

My throat still felt dry and tight. “I started putting things together and realized I was late. Like really late. And with the nausea and everything…”

“How…how far along are we?” he asked, and my entire body shook. We. Not you. We. “Aios would’ve been able to see that.”

“She…she did.” My eyes stung even more now, but I wasn’t sure if it was from relief or if I was about to have a breakdown. “She thinks I’m about three months along.”

His lips parted again, and that uncomfortable silence fell once more.

I swallowed, unable to bear the quiet. “Earlier today, I remembered the dream I had in stasis—when I saw my nota. I’d been trying to remember it,” I rushed on. “I didn’t only see my nota. I saw two cubs on the bank of my lake. I don’t know if it was a vision or something, but I didn’t tell you when you checked on me before the meeting because I wasn’t a hundred percent sure, and—”

“Two?” he croaked. “You saw two…cubs?”

The flames danced erratically once more. “You sure you don’t want to get out of the pool?”

“Two?” he repeated.

“Yeah. Sorry. I hadn’t gotten to that part yet. I probably should’ve just broken the news all at once.” I wet my lips, and Ash went completely still yet again. “But, yes. Two. Aios also confirmed that. And I know this is overwhelming and will likely sound a little insane, but I think—no, I know—I love them already. I don’t know how. I’ve never wanted children or honestly even liked being around them—fuck, I didn’t really think about it, but I’m not getting rid of them because they are ours. They’re—” My voice cracked again. “They’re mine.”

Ash was silent again. He stared down at me, his eyes still wide.

I wished I knew what he felt—what was going through his head. “What are you thinking?” I asked, my voice sounding entirely too small. “Feeling?”

“What am I…?” He laughed hoarsely. “I’m shocked as fuck. I don’t know what to think. I…” He trailed off, slowly shaking his head. “With everything that has happened, I didn’t want children, didn’t want to expose them to what I experienced. So, I never really thought about the idea beyond that.”

My fingers began to ache from how tightly I gripped him.

Another tremor ran through him. “But I could’ve…I could’ve lost you.” His voice cracked, and another wave of power rippled out from him, stirring the waters. “I could’ve lost them.”

Now, I went rigid. He sounded absolutely destroyed just thinking of the possibility.

Ash’s eyes were glistening silver pools. “If I hadn’t tried to Ascend you? Or if the Ascension hadn’t worked…?” His hands shook as he slid one to the back of my head. “I would’ve lost everything and more.”

I sucked in a thin breath, too afraid to even acknowledge what his words might signify.

“I’m going to be…” He blinked rapidly, and I didn’t think the dampness on his cheeks was due to the pool water.

“Are…are you crying?” I whispered.

“I think so.” His laugh was shaky, and gods, I didn’t think anyone had ever seen Ash like this, wide-eyed and vulnerable. Wisps of eather whirled through his eyes. “I’m going to be a father?”

“Yes.”

His eyes shut, and then my feet left the floor of the pool as he lifted me. My legs tangled in the wet gown, but I managed to wrap them around his waist. He held me so close I could feel his pounding heart.