My breath caught at the sight of him. I was immediately reminded of the night of my coronation. The curve of his hard jaw was the same. The lines of his features just as striking. His hair was free, brushing his dark gray tunic. Silver scrollwork lined the collar and cut diagonally across his broad chest. Leather pants the same hue as the tunic molded to his body. The cuff on his upper arm glinted despite the dim lighting.

Ash nodded in Thierran’s direction. “I would like to speak with my wife,” he said, and my heart did a hundred different silly things, including plummeting to my toes when he added, “Alone.”

Thierran skedaddled right out of the library without another word. He clearly sensed the tension, which meant there was definitely tension.

My legs felt numb as the doors swung shut behind Thierran, closing quietly.

“I’m surprised to find you in here,” he said, his attention fastened on the portraits. “With Thierran.”

“You and me both.” I smoothed my hands over my hips. “He was walking by and saw me in here. Apparently, he was curious about what this chamber was.”

Ash stopped beside me, his hands clasped behind his back. “I can only imagine what kind of conversation took place.”

I really hoped he couldn’t, at least when it came to what Thierran said before Ash arrived. “We actually talked about your mother. I didn’t know she was oneirou.”

“Half oneirou,” he corrected.

“It surprised me initially, but it makes sense—your abilities and all.” I looked up at her painting. “He said your mother wasn’t someone to mess with.”

“She could affect other’s emotions,” he confirmed. “Though my father said it was rare that she did so. She felt the same way about it as you do with compulsion.” He was quiet for a moment. “What drew you to the library? This space is usually empty.”

Everyone seemed to avoid this room, likely due to the sadness Thierran had spoken of. Except for today. “It’s quiet.”

“That it is.”

I stared up at his unreadable profile. There wasn’t any coldness to his voice, but his tone was nearly the same as it had been after I found Veses feeding on him and demanded to be set free once Kolis was taken care of. He sounded…closed off. Like a wall had been erected.

My stomach hollowed, and I quickly looked away from him. Or was it my imagination? My fears that, despite what he’d said to me in the early morning hours, he wouldn’t look at me the same. My gaze inched back to him. But that didn’t make sense. Ash had known. He’d always known. And I’d just been over here pretending he didn’t.

But I hadn’t seen him all afternoon or evening, and that wasn’t like him. Not anymore. And I…

I wanted to ask if he was upset, but the words wouldn’t come to my tongue. I just wanted him to look at me.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“A little sore. I mean, my muscles,” I quickly amended, the back of my throat burning. “From all the running.” I took a shallow breath as my gaze dropped to my hands. “I don’t think I’ve ever run that much in my life. And I hate running.”

“Your nota appears to love doing so,” he remarked.

I nodded, staring at the golden swirl on the top of my hand. “Will it always be like that? Running for hours?”

“Likely not. The first time is always intense and driven by animal instinct.”

“I didn’t realize running aimlessly was a part of a cave cat’s instinct.” I ran a finger over the swirl. “Would’ve thought hunting would be the first item on the list.”

“I suppose we should be glad it wasn’t.”

My lips quirked at that. “Yeah. That could’ve been a problem.”

There was a beat of silence. “I didn’t think you’d be able to shift so soon,” he said. “Either way, I wish your first time in your nota form was different. I wanted it to be a good experience for you.”

“It was.” I looked up. Silvery eyes locked with mine, and my heart started pounding. “I mean, it wasn’t bad. It was kind of freeing. Even the running. I wasn’t thinking…”

Wisps of eather appeared in his eyes. “About?”

“Anything. My mind was quiet,” I admitted. “It’s never quiet.” I cleared my throat. “Anyway, I saw Bele and Aios a little bit ago. I’m surprised they didn’t know I shifted last night. I would’ve thought the guards would have said something.”

“The guards saw nothing out of the ordinary last night.”

“Uh…”

“That is if they wish to keep their eyes and tongues,” he added.

My mouth dropped open. “You threatened them to keep silent.”

“I would never,” he murmured.

“Ash,” I said, my brows lifting. “There really wasn’t any reason to do that. What bad things could they have said about seeing me in my nota form?”

“Nothing,” he said. “But if they talked, and those they told talked, you would hear about it. I know we haven’t had much time with each other, but I know how your mind works.” He paused. “Mostly. But in this case, you would’ve worried that others were speaking about what they saw last night. You would begin thinking they somehow knew what caused it.”

“That’s not…” My lips pursed. “Okay. You’re completely right.”

Ash smirked, looking back at the paintings.

“Thank you.”

“Not necessary.” He tipped up his chin.

But it was.

It was sweet and thoughtful of him to ensure that no one spoke about my wild run through the courtyard and beyond. I probably shouldn’t think him threatening others was sweet, but he was protecting me, even if just from words and speculation.

And gods, that made me feel like I wasn’t worthy of him—not in a self-deprecating way, but in how it made me want to be better in every way.

And I knew how to start.

I’d always known.

Taking a deep breath, I looked up at him. I needed to talk to him. Ash watched me, the glow of eather vivid behind his pupils.

His mouth opened, but awareness throbbed through me, and a few seconds later, I saw that he felt it. “A Primal has arrived.” He glanced at the door. “Do you know who it is?”

Clearing my mind took a few moments, but as I focused on the fading throb of awareness, the hazy image of the Primal of Accord and War formed in my mind. “Attes.”

“Correct.”

“Huh,” I murmured. “So, that’s how you know who it is before seeing them. That’s shockingly easy.”

“It is if you give yourself time to pay attention,” he remarked.

I snorted. Meaning it would require a conscious effort from me.

“I’ll see to him,” Ash said, then hesitated. His gaze flickered over my face. “I’ll find you afterward.”

A hundred different things rose to the tip of my tongue. It was all of that being-better stuff, but Ash dipped his head and pressed a kiss to my cheek.

Then, he was gone.

CHAPTER FORTY

Ash went to meet with Attes, who likely wanted to update him on what he’d found in the Undying Hills, but I didn’t leave the library. However, I wasn’t alone for long. This time, I heard the footsteps nearing the chamber.

“Sera?” Bele’s voice floated in from the hall.

I turned, seeing both her and Aios in the doorway. “Hey.”

“What are you doing in here?” Bele asked, drifting into the library.

I shrugged. “I was looking for something to read.”

The Primal’s eyes narrowed on me. “You…are so boring now.”

“Bele.” Aios sighed, smoothing a hand over her peach tunic. She brushed past Bele, her eyes filling with concern. “Are you feeling unwell?”

“I’m so glad you asked that.” Bele crossed her arms. “I was wondering the same, but figured I’d get yelled at for saying you look like you haven’t slept in a week.”

My stomach twisted sharply. Had they heard about my wild, late-night run? Other than Rhahar, I hadn’t seen anyone else. They must have. Guards had seen me, and who wouldn’t talk about a large silver cave cat sprinting across the courtyard? “I shifted into my nota late last night and ended up running around for…” I trailed off, noticing both goddesses were gaping at me. “So, you didn’t hear about that?”