I broke.

I rocked back, bloody hands fisting in my hair as I screamed. Tears coursed down my cheeks and fell from the sky. I screamed until I thought I might rip apart, until my voice gave out, and there was nothing.

I didn’t know how long I remained on my knees, arms limp at my sides. I heard and saw nothing until I registered someone calling my name over and over.

Hands grasped my arms, shaking me. “Sera!”

Numbly, I opened my eyes, expecting to see Holland, but it wasn’t him.

Attes was crouched in front of me, red soaking his hair and streaming down his face. “Sera? Can you hear me?” He squeezed my arms. “Do you understand me?”

“I…” I rasped hoarsely. “Look…at what I did.”

The Primal shook his head and swallowed thickly. “That doesn’t matter right now.”

How could he say that? My gaze drifted behind him to the crimson leaves.

“Look at me.” He caught my chin, forcing my gaze back to his. “I need you to focus on me and listen. If you don’t, there will be more death and destruction. Lotho needs a Primal, and only you can Ascend one. If you don’t do it and do it now, the essence will circle back, and there will be even more damage. You must stop this.”

The screams…

Those lost when Embris’s essence was released. I flinched, and Attes cursed. Their blood was on my hands.

“Sera,” Attes pleaded.

“I know,” I croaked.

Relief poured into his features, and he helped me stand. As the blood leaves swayed in the wind, we shadowstepped to Mount Lotho.

CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

At any other time, I would’ve marveled at the beauty of the Athanien Palace. The sweeping structure had been built into the side of Mount Lotho and consisted of far too many floors to even count, connected by spiraling outdoor staircases that looked like death traps to me.

The palace wasn’t the only building that climbed to the heights of the mountain. Tall towers lined Mount Lotho and disappeared into the clouds. I knew that was where the Fates resided.

But there was nothing beautiful about the Court now. It was storming violently. Lightning continuously pierced the dark violet and charcoal clouds, revealing glimpses of the pitched roofs and rain-soaked marble streets of the cities sprawling along the hills and the steep inclines of Mount Lotho.

Draken swarmed the palace, their staggering calls those of restlessness, confusion, and anger. There was also concern.

So much rain had fallen that the gods clustered outside the doors feared mudslides would soon follow. Several were out there now, using essence to hold back the unstable ground. I closed my eyes. It reminded me of Phanos fighting the tidal wave my actions had caused.

“Sera,” Attes called softly.

I turned from the window to see him entering the atrium with Penellaphe.

The goddess’s light brown skin had taken on an ashen hue. “Sera,” she whispered, crossing the distance between us. “Fates, are you all—?”

“There isn’t time for that,” I cut her off. What I said wasn’t a lie, but I also didn’t want her concern. “Are you willing to accept the position of Primal of this Court?”

She stopped short, her fingers curling into the lace on the collar of her blouse. “I am, but there are other gods older than me—more deserving.”

“I don’t know them. I know you.”

Penellaphe took a deep breath. “Then I accept.”

Attes led us to a nearby chair. I’d been relieved when I realized the crimson now dried in streaks over his face and matting his hair was from the blood rain and not something else. It hadn’t just fallen throughout the mortal realm. It also drenched the Courts of Iliseeum. “Do you know how to do this?”

I nodded. “Your wrist?”

Penellaphe extended her arm, and Attes’s worried gaze lingered on me. I took the goddess’s hand. The sight of my blood-and-dirt-smeared fingers against her clean, unblemished skin caused me to flinch. Whose blood was that? Mine? Embris’s? The unknown gods I’d killed?

“Sera?” Attes said quietly.

I shook myself free of those thoughts. The wind and rain lashed the walls. Lifting her wrist, I didn’t waste any time. I bit into her vein. Her sharp inhale reminded me to release my fangs. I hadn’t done that when I’d torn into Embris’s throat. The taste of Penellaphe’s blood reminded me of cherries as I drank deeply and as quickly as I could, hoping I wasn’t causing her pain. I’d already brought about enough of that to last a lifetime. At some point, Penellaphe sat, or Attes guided her to do so. I wasn’t sure which. Soon, I became aware of the pulse beneath my fingertips and its echo in her blood. When it slowed, I closed the wound and then bit into my wrist. Red-hot pain radiated up and down my left arm, and Attes winced. I hadn’t been as clean with myself as with Penellaphe. It wasn’t on purpose. At least, I didn’t think so.

Blood welled and ran down my arm. I lifted my wrist. “Drink.”

Her hands shook when she grasped my arm. Rain-slicked hair fell forward. She sealed her mouth to the wound and drank as I stood there. I didn’t really feel it or know how long it took, but Penellaphe suddenly released my arm and jerked her head back. Warmth had returned to her skin.

“Rise,” I said, guided by the instincts of a Primal of Life. “Rise as the Primal Goddess of Wisdom, Loyalty, and Duty.”

Ruby-red stained her lips, and her eyes widened. She pressed a hand to her chest, the veins along the top lit with a golden glow. “Oh…”

Lowering my arm, I stepped back. A sudden wave of dizziness swept through me. I forced out a long, slow breath. A level of detached curiosity filled me as I watched the essence travel through her veins, disappearing under the sleeves at her wrists to reappear along her throat.

“Sera.” Attes touched my arm, his voice low. “Close your wound.”

I started to lift my arm but halted when eather filled the veins of Penellaphe’s cheeks. Her eyes got even wider, filling with eather until her pupils were no longer visible. Her chest rose sharply, and then she shot to her feet, knocking the chair over.

The air shifted around us, thickening and charging with all the combustible energy. Particles of eather lit up all around Penellaphe, moving throughout the atrium and beyond the palace. The Court of Lotho burned with silver light. Arcs of eather erupted from the particles, slamming into Penellaphe and returning to a source, a home.

Penellaphe’s head jerked back, and she threw out her arms. Blinding light streaked from her, sparking and hissing. She rose into the air, reaching the ceiling. The glow was so intense my eyes watered as eather enveloped her entire body. The howling wind and rain ceased. Through the windows, I saw the thick clouds breaking apart to reveal the clear night sky.

There was silence and then the staggering high-pitched call of a draken. Then another. And another.

The eather around and inside Penellaphe throbbed and then flickered out. She dropped from the air, but Holland was there before Attes or I could do anything. He caught Penellaphe, cradling her limp body in his arms. I was…so out of it that I hadn’t even felt his arrival.

Nice of him to show up.

“I got you,” he murmured, brushing his lips over her brow before lifting his gaze to mine.

“Sera,” Holland called. His painfully familiar features were tense, but his gaze was soft. “Thank you.”

My eyes slammed shut, violent emotions swirling dangerously inside me. I stepped back and turned away, swaying slightly.

“Sera,” Attes started.

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not.” He caught my arm, irritation and concern filling his tone. “You’re dizzy, aren’t you? Don’t even bother lying. You’re walking like you’ve drunk a fifth of whiskey.”

“Then why did you ask?”

“Because I have no idea what you plan to do next, and I doubt you realize the vulnerable state you’re in right now.” The angles of his face were tense and smeared with dried blood, making his scar stand out more. “You’re a fledgling Primal and have used way too much eather.”