What in the fuck kind of bad timing was this?

“Do you often have them while awake?” Ash asked.

“Not normally.” Realizing that had been the stupidest excuse, I quickly added, “But I dozed off pretty quickly after you and Attes left. And before you ask, no, I don’t know what I was dreaming about, but I do have a distinctive feeling I was having a nightmare.”

His brow furrowed. A moment passed, and then another.

I shifted my weight from one foot to the other. “Are you okay?”

“I was,” he stated, lowering his hand.

I started to ask what he meant, but then it occurred to me that he likely believed I’d had a nightmare about Kolis and that I was keeping it from him. Again.

Shit. Damn. Fuuuck.

“It wasn’t that,” I assured him. “I wasn’t having a nightmare about Kolis.” My hands curled at my sides. “I swear, Ash. I’m fine, and I’m sorry I worried you.”

“You don’t have to apologize.” He exhaled heavily. Some of the tension eased from his jaw.

“And you don’t have to worry.” I turned, making my way from the bathing chamber. “Did you speak to Lailah?”

He followed me. “Yes. She is a little shocked but on board.”

“Good.” I smoothed my hands down my thighs. I needed to pull it together. Even though it didn’t feel like it at the moment, what we needed to discuss with the others was far more important. “Is it almost time?”

Ash eyed me closely and then nodded. “I need to change my shirt.”

I glanced down at myself and figured I’d do the same. It took Ash two seconds to pull a dark gray tunic from a hanger. My gaze fell on the clothing hanging there, and for some reason, I reached for a black gown with silver ivy stitched along the waist and sides. I stared at it for a moment and then tugged it free. I didn’t even know why. I’d blame the shocking possible revelation. Or maybe it was because, deep down, I didn’t hate gowns.

I just hated being told to wear one.

“Can you help me?” I asked Ash.

He’d already donned the tunic, ready in less than a minute. It took me a little longer. Not because I had to undress and then shimmy my ass into the brocade gown—thank the gods it wasn’t skintight where I had to fight my possibly growing sto—

Nope.

Not thinking about that.

Nope. Nope. Nope.

Ash’s calloused fingers lingered on the skin of my back as he clasped the row of hooks, sending tight shivers cascading down my spine. That was why it took longer. That and his insistence on being the one to secure the bone dagger beneath the skirt. His hands really lingered on the clasp of the thigh sheath he had replaced for me, causing my skin to flush and heat to pool low in my core.

Ash looked up at me through thick lashes as he fixed the gown. Then, he rose. “You look so beautiful.”

“Thank you,” I whispered. He ran a finger over the silver ivy encircling the waist of the gown that climbed the valley between my breasts.

“I really need to thank Erlina for her expert hand,” he murmured, tracing the stitching that spread across the top of the bodice.

My skin tingled through the gown, and I looked up at him. “If you keep doing that, we will have to delay summoning the Primals.”

A wolfish grin appeared as he ducked his head and kissed me so deeply that if I’d feared at all that his passion for me was diminished by everything that had happened and what I had shared with him, I had no doubts now.

But those doubts were gone anyway.

“Later,” he promised, taking my hand.

We walked to the main floor, and I suspected that Ash had chosen to go this way to give me time instead of shadowstepping, just as he had before my public speech.

And I used every second of that to file the possibility of me being pregnant in the farthest recesses of my mind, tucking it in along with the thoughts of what I had done to the mortal realm. I had to do that so I could do this. If not, there was a good chance I would start running through the halls screaming.

Several guards lined the foyer—a new sight. They bowed their heads as we passed.

“Rhain is waiting for us in the crown room. He thinks you should definitely wear it now,” Ash said, and I glanced at that damn empty pedestal. “Once you’re ready, we’ll summon the Primals.”

I nodded, tightening my grip on his hand. There were guards everywhere I looked, even in the narrow hall that led to the chamber connected to the war room.

Rhain stood inside, between the empty pedestal that should’ve held Ash’s crown and mine. When he saw me, his brows nearly climbed into his hair.

“You didn’t have to change,” he said, drawing a curious look from Ash.

“I know,” I said. “I wanted to.”

He swallowed, glancing at Ash. “You both look like the King and Queen you are.”

Ash’s hand slipped free of mine as he went to the crown and lifted it, the suns and diamonds glinting in the sunlight. He carefully placed it on my head and smiled as he lowered his hands.

I reached up, touching one of the spires. “I will never get over the fact that it doesn’t weigh as much as it looks.”

“Heavy is the head that wears the wrong crown,” Ash said, smoothing a curl under the headpiece. “You now look even more beautiful.”

“The most beautiful Queen who has ever lived,” Kars said, entering the room with Saion and Rhahar.

Ash’s gaze slid to the godling, and a low rumble of warning radiated from him.

I smacked his chest, and Kars fought a grin. “Thank you,” I said, taking a deep breath and refusing to allow my thoughts to wander.

The door to the war room opened, revealing Nektas.

Ash took my hand, leading us to the interior door where the draken waited. As the others followed, my gaze swept over the numerous weapons lining the walls of the war room and the wooden table with far too many nicks and grooves in it to count as we entered.

Usually, I would love this space and all its stabby things, but this was the place where Ash had first learned of my betrayal. It was in the past and no longer mattered, but I still hated the room.

I looked over my shoulder at Nektas as we passed the oval table. “You’re staying in this form?” I’d expected him to shift.

“I’m scarier in this form,” he said.

Now that he’d mentioned it, he really was.

“Remember how to summon the Primals?” Ash asked, and I nodded. “Attes is here. You will not need to think of him.”

“I know.” Closing my eyes, I cleared my racing thoughts and first focused on Keella. Eather swelled inside. The sensation was strange, almost like a cord had formed and stretched across the realm. I could almost see it in my mind, and it reminded me of when Kolis had come out of stasis. I knew the moment I reached the Primal goddess, and as Ash had instructed before, I projected my summons to the throne room.

A moment later, I felt the throb of a Primal.

“That’s my Queen,” Ash murmured, his thumb stroking my side as I repeated it for Maia and then Penellaphe.

I felt them arrive and focused on Phanos. The appearance of another Primal throbbed through me. My breath caught a little, but I wasn’t done.

I took another deep breath and closed my eyes once more. I felt the moment my compulsion reached the two Primals.

I compelled Veses and Kyn to appear before me.

CHAPTER FORTY-NINE

The arrival of the remaining two Primals throbbed in the center of my chest, and I had to smirk, imagining their fury.

We stopped as we neared the final doorway—the one leading to the dais in the throne room. Doubts began creeping in. I had no idea where Maia and Phanos would stand. What if I said the wrong thing? What if I wasn’t convincing? That was definitely possible. What if I walked right out there, took one look at Veses, and throat-punched her? Also, very likely. Or Kyn decided to breathe, and Ash would be forced to put me into stasis? Gods, that wasn’t completely likely, but it wasn’t impossible. And should we stand or sit? If I started pacing, would I walk right off the dais—?