“My gods,” I whispered, my stomach clenching. “And all you have are those two little scars?”

“It’s where his claws dug in. They did most of the damage. I looked a mess for a couple of days afterward.”

I stared at his throat, stunned that the fingertip-width scar on his chin and the faint nick on his nose were all that remained of what must have been a nightmarish injury. And that he’d only looked a mess for a few days.

What Attes—the Primal of Accord and War—had said about the vulnerability of a newly Ascended Primal resurfaced. My new odd sense of knowing didn’t spew any answers. “So,” I said as Ash reached across the table and picked up a fork. My gaze flicked back to his face as he moved a chicken breast onto a plate. “I’m basically a baby Primal now.”

“A what?” Ash’s laugh tugged at my lips and heart. “A baby Primal?”

“Attes said that newly Ascended Primals are weaker than normal and used the word fledgling instead of baby, but that makes me think of birds for some reason.” I saw his jaw tense at the mention of the Primal. “You’re still mad at Attes.”

Ash said nothing. He didn’t need to.

“He swore to me that he would support you, no matter what. Besides that, your father trusted Attes enough to tell him what he planned to do with the embers and Sotoria’s soul,” I gently reminded him as I fiddled with the bottom of the charcoal-colored robe I’d donned. “At some point, you need to realize that Attes didn’t betray us.”

“I’ve realized that, liessa.”

My lips pursed as he angrily diced the chicken breast into pieces small enough for a young child. “I feel like there’s a but coming.”

“But that doesn’t mean I can forgive him for placing you in Kolis’s hands.”

“He did it to protect the Shadowlands, Ash.”

A strand of hair slipped free, falling against his cheek. “You’re really defending him?”

“I wouldn’t say I’m defending him. I’m just pointing out that there were reasons behind what he did.”

He stared at me. “How is that not defending him?”

“Because I, too, was ticked off at him.” I picked up the glass of water. “Part of me still is. But his brother was about to lay waste to the entire Court, leaving only the Pillars of Asphodel and beyond. Attes did what he could at the time to stop Kyn.”

“I get that.” Ash placed the knife aside and scooped up a heaping helping of steamed cauliflower.

“Then you have to understand that he was only trying to prevent that.”

“What I understand is that I would’ve prevented Kyn from destroying the Shadowlands.” His eather-streaked gaze found mine. “And if not, the Shadowlands would’ve fallen, but you would’ve been safe. And that is all that matters.”

My breath snagged as his gaze held mine. Even without foresight, I knew in my soul that he spoke the absolute truth. If it came down to the Court he’d spent the last two centuries guarding or my safety, he would choose me.

“That shouldn’t surprise you, liessa. The dream or vision—whatever you want to call it—that I had the night you were born would’ve come to fruition.” A charge of energy left Ash, causing the chandelier overhead to sway slightly. “I would’ve seen the realms burn if I lost you. You may not believe I would’ve allowed that to happen, just as you believe my decency extends beyond you, but it doesn’t. I would’ve gladly seen it all burn.” He flattened one palm on the table. “I’m sorry if that disturbs you. I truly am. But it’s the truth.”

My grip tightened on the glass. “I…I don’t think you would’ve gladly seen it all burn, but I…” Heart thumping heavily, I took a drink and then set the glass down. “I would do the same for you.” Eather stirred beneath my skin, reacting to the truth in what I’d said. I would do unspeakable things, stuff far worse than what I’d already done, to keep Ash alive. I was more than capable. “That’s probably not good. Actually, it isn’t good, considering the whole Primal-of-Life thing. But it doesn’t disturb me.”

Primal essence swirled in Ash’s eyes. “Then, for the sake of the realms, we’d better ensure that both of us remain alive.”

Holding his stare, I nodded. “Agreed.”

Ash slid the plate toward me. “Please, eat.”

I picked up my fork and, feeling his gaze on me, took a bite of the savory chicken. My stomach immediately thanked me.

“You are a fledgling,” he continued after a moment. “Meaning you will tire more easily after repeatedly using the essence. But you will still be stronger than all the gods and likely many of the Primals.” He speared a slab of grilled beef and moved it to his plate. “Looking back, you already were. A young god, let alone one in their Culling, wouldn’t be able to do much with eather while surrounded by so much shadowstone.”

I glanced at the ceiling’s glossy surface. Shadowstone absorbed energy—the eather that could be found in all living things—from the environment, weakening the gods’ and Primals’ ability to tap into the essence. But I’d almost brought the entire palace down on our heads after finding the Primal Goddess of Rites and Prosperity feeding from Ash. Just thinking about Veses and how she’d taken advantage of Ash’s need to protect me caused eather to thrum hotly within me. But I couldn’t unsee her stricken features as Kolis handed her over to Kyn for punishment.

I shifted, feeling uncomfortable. How could I hate someone with every fiber of my being but still feel bad for them? I shoved several pieces of chicken into my mouth, refusing to think about her. Or feel all that bad for her.

“And newly Ascended Primal or not, you can kill another Primal. You’re more dangerous now without the experience or control when it comes to the full extent of your powers, but you will have to replenish the spent eather more than you will as time passes. You can do it by resting, eating, or feeding.” There was a second of silence. “I do hope you choose the third option.”

Freezing with another piece of chicken halfway to my open mouth, I peeked over at him.

A shadowy grin appeared, and all kinds of parts of me coiled pleasantly. “Even if you don’t use eather, you will need to feed more often in the beginning than you will later. Usually, once a week.”

Oh…

“You will be more susceptible to injury than any other Primal. Wounds that would kill a god are normally nothing more than a splinter to a Primal, but for a newly Ascended one, it could take you down for several days. Even leave scars.”

My stare dipped to the faint mark on his chin as I thought about weapons fashioned from the bones of the Ancients. I knew they could put a Primal into stasis, even kill a fledgling if left in them for too long, and it would utterly destroy a god or godling, leaving nothing behind for even me to bring back.

The tasty chicken lost some of its flavor with the knowledge that Kolis had most of the bones. “You don’t have any weapons fashioned from the bones of the Ancients, right?”

Ash shook his head. “Kolis forbade it. Deeming me not entirely trustworthy.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Neither does Keella. Though I’m not sure about Maia,” he said, referencing the Primal Goddess of Rebirth, and the Primal Goddess of Love, Beauty, and Fertility.

I nodded absently. “I know the weakness can last several years.”

“It can.” Ash cut down the center of the beef and then began cutting half of it into smaller sections. “But the length of time varies between Primals. I’m in my second century and not at my full power.”

Considering what I’d seen of him, that was hard to believe. “But you killed another Primal.”

“Not sure Hanan counts,” he remarked dryly.

I smirked at that. There were basically two ways to kill a Primal. One came at the hands of another Primal, which wasn’t easy. And the other was…well, death by the one they loved. I’d always believed the latter referenced only love between those not of the same blood, and it did, but Eythos’s demise proved that wasn’t always the case.