I moved fast, summoning the eather to draw the spikes from the bodies of those impaled and gently lowered them to the ground. I kept Ezra and Marisol side by side, not changing the direction in which Marisol looked. It didn’t feel right as I knelt beside my sister.

Purpose filled me, and the humming eather rose once more. I reached for Ezra’s hand—

“Sera?”

I spun, eather crackling from my fingertips.

Awash in a fiery glow, Holland stood before me, the heated wind tugging at the white linen pants and tunic he wore. Somehow, the pristine material remained unblemished as he stood among the dead—those he’d shared suppers and stories with. His ageless face mirrored those scattered around him. His expression showed horror. He wasn’t looking at me. He was looking at everything around us.

Seeing him stunned me and conjured a wealth of emotions and memories—from when I was just a young girl holding a blade for the first time up to the last time I’d seen him in the throne room. In an instant, I was some other version of me. A mixture of that young girl and the woman he’d raised like a daughter.

The eather fizzled out. Pain flared all along the length of my body, and I took a stumbling step toward him.

His head turned back to me, and I saw that his once hickory-hued irises were now like Aydun’s—bursts of silver sprinkled through the colors, appearing like the stars they had come from. “What have you done?”

I jerked to a halt with a wince. I didn’t understand what he was asking. “What have I done?”

“You killed a Primal, Sera.”

I drew back in disbelief. That is what he had to say to me? That? After everything? It took several moments for me to snap out of my stupor. “Do you not see what Kolis did? To everyone here? To my mother? To Marisol and Ezra?” My voice cracked, and, gods, it hurt. It hurt even worse to see Holland’s gaze flicker behind me and witness his flinch. “I gave him a chance. I made him an offer. This was his answer. He nearly killed everyone in the city. He acted, and I am reacting.”

Holland’s chest rose with a deep breath, and he returned his gaze to mine. “And you killed nearly as many.”

My head jerked back as if I had been slapped, even though I knew I had unleashed ruin upon those here and beyond. I inhaled through my stinging nose. “I’m fixing that.” I started walking backward. “I’m going to undo—”

Holland took a step forward. “You cannot do that. You have already brought Marisol back once,” he said. “You cannot do it again. Her soul is now beyond your reach and can only be released by Death—the true Primal of Death. Why do you think Eythos hid Sotoria’s soul?”

Shaking my head, I looked back at Marisol, unable to see past how she had turned her head toward Ezra in her final moments.

“It is how the balance is kept,” Holland continued. “You already gave Marisol a second chance. The realms prevent that from happening again.” His voice roughened. “She is gone.”

I didn’t want to believe Holland, but instinct told me he wasn’t lying. My shoulders curved inward, and a heavy ache settled in my chest. Only Kolis could release Marisol’s soul now. I briefly closed my eyes as sorrow threatened to overwhelm me. I couldn’t allow that. My hands fisted, and eather pressed against my skin. I opened my eyes and turned my attention to Ezra. I could almost believe she was sleeping if I didn’t look at her face. “He doesn’t hold the souls of the others.”

“You cannot bring them back, Sera.”

I whipped around. “I can’t? I’m the true Primal of Life.”

“I know what you are, but just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should.”

I inhaled sharply. “Do not start with that philosophical bullshit, Holland. My family is dead.” Anger pulsed through me. “My city is nearly gone.”

“I know. I know this hurts.” He lifted his hands, and when he spoke next, his voice had gentled. “And I’m sorry. I truly am. This shouldn’t have happened. It’s not fair.”

“You’re right. This shouldn’t have happened, and it’s not fair. That’s why I’m going to make it right.”

“But you won’t, Sera. You will just end up repeating everything that led to this very moment. You’ve already started to with those you brought back.”

“This is different,” I insisted.

“Listen to me. Please,” he said, the stars in his eyes brightening. “You know what happens if you bring them back. Other lives will be forfeited to take their place.”

Oh, gods.

I hadn’t even thought of that. How many villagers had I brought back? A hundred? No, more… Two hundred? Three? That meant…

I briefly closed my eyes. “I don’t care.” I turned back to Ezra.

“You must care,” Holland insisted. “It is the only way balance can be kept.”

“Fuck balance!” I screamed, and lightning streaked overhead. “Where were you to remind Kolis of balance when he ordered this? Where were any of you? Where—wait.” My entire body jerked. “Did you see this, Holland?”

Holland’s eyes closed.

“Did you know this would happen?” I shouted. “And do nothing? You knew these people! You knew Ezra—” My voice gave out, and my hands fisted.

“Sera,” he rasped, pain etching his features. “There are many threads, many possible outcomes. Ones we cannot interfere in—”

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” I had to force myself to move back and look away from Holland before I lost control.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated.

I looked down at Ezra and then swung my gaze to where my mother now lay on the ground. A shudder went through me. The gnawing pain seemed endless as another lightning bolt raced across the smoke-filled sky. “I told them to call my name. Said I would come. Ezra didn’t do it. But I heard her shrieks—” I cut myself off. Anger and anguish flooded my senses. “Why didn’t she call for me?” I looked back at Ezra. “Why didn’t you do what I told you? Godsdamnit!” I screamed. “Why?”

“You know why,” Holland said softly, sadly. “She would never willingly endanger you.”

That made it worse.

Because this—all of this—wasn’t just Kolis’s fault.

“Ezra will be with Marisol and her father once more,” Holland said. “You need to let her go.”

I shook. “My mother…”

“You need to let them all go, Sera.” His voice was closer. “This is not where you are needed, and you’re in no condition to continue as you are.”

Tremors ran up and down my arms as I closed my eyes again. “And where am I needed?”

“A god who serves in Lotho must be Ascended soon,” he said. “The energy Embris’s death released is making its way across all the realms. It must return to a vessel before it circles back—”

“I know what will happen,” I cut him off. “That doesn’t change what I must do. I have to bring Ezra back. I have to bring them all back.”

Holland’s sigh was heavy. “I don’t want to hurt you, Sera.”

Crushing agony formed a tight ball in my chest. I opened my eyes, slowly faced him, and all I saw at that moment was an Ancient standing before me. One who had known all along that those he’d laughed and fought beside would die like this.

Streaks of swirling eather brimmed beneath his flesh. “Eythos once found himself in a similar position. A plague struck down a village he favored. He brought them back—all of them—even though that was not what the realms needed. And he continued to do so, each restored life leading to others believing there would always be a second chance. And each life cost another theirs until he had ended the lives of as many as he restored. By the time he realized his folly, it was already too late. It was expected from him. You need to be better than that, Sera.”

“I don’t care what Eythos did,” I spat. “Nor do I care about being better than him or anyone. That is what led to this!”

“How?” Holland shook his head. “How can you think that?”

“Because trying to be better is what stopped me from going after Kolis. Trying to be better is what prevented me from refusing his deal and entering the eirini.” My wounded hand ached as I lifted my fists. “Trying to be what I’m not is what allowed this.”