Denial rose to the tip of my tongue, but I wouldn’t be sitting here if he wasn’t selfish. Then again, was saving my life really that selfish? Yes? No? Probably a little of both.

“Do not forget that, at the end of the day, this is the same Primal who drowned a city,” Saion reminded me. “Simply because those living there ceased to honor him by endangering their lives.”

“I haven’t forgotten that.” Blowing out an aggravated breath, I drew the braid over my shoulder. “He was upset about the loss of those ceeren. Why would he not want justice for that? Or, at the very least, want to avoid being put in that situation again?”

Rhahar rubbed his chin and shook his head. “Because seeking that justice could negatively affect him.”

“And not seeking it will still negatively affect him,” I pointed out. “It’s not like we’re going anywhere. No matter what side he chooses, if Kolis doesn’t take the offered deal, there are still two sides.”

“Exactly,” Ash said, moving his thumb down the curve of my hip. “Phanos may see himself as damned if he does, and damned if he doesn’t. Most in that situation would side with who they believe poses the least risk.”

“Then what?” I started twisting the end of my braid between my fingers. “That’s basically saying he believes Kolis will remain as he was.”

“He has no reason not to think that. Phanos doesn’t know you. He doesn’t know what you are and aren’t capable of,” Ash stated. “But he knows Kolis. And he knows how vindictive he can be.”

Pressing my lips together, I turned my attention to the empty shelves. Phanos had to feel what happened here in the Shadowlands when I brought the river back. So he knew I was capable of something. But I’d suspected that, hadn’t I? That many of the Primals wouldn’t immediately jump on board and be okay with the idea of me being Queen. Ash and I had even discussed it.

“Phanos knows you, though,” Rhain spoke to Ash. “He has to be worried about standing against you if it comes down to it.”

Ash’s tone was pure ice and shadows when he said, “He’d better be.”

“What we need to keep in mind is that Phanos may side with Kolis now, but you will have a chance to convince him otherwise,” Attes reminded. “Both of you will once the eirini ends.”

I nodded slowly. “You’re right.” I met Ash’s gaze. “We will.”

Because we had to.

Phanos had the second-largest army, and if it came down to war, we needed him on our side.

I stared at the small, oval dining table that had been brought into Ash’s office as I waited for Nektas to arrive. Attes had heard Lailah’s voice and roamed off.

There were several ledgers on the table and a pitcher of water.

Nervous energy buzzed through me, making it hard to pay attention to any one thing.

I would see Ezra and Marisol in a few short hours. Maybe even my mother.

Excitement and anxiety crashed together. How would they respond to seeing me when, thanks to my eyes and fangs, it wasn’t like I could hide that I had changed? And should I share with them what I’d become? I knew I could if I wanted to, but I didn’t want them to see me differently—well, more so than they likely already would.

Ash looked up from where he sat behind his desk. “What’s on your mind?”

“Nothing.”

Head tilting, his gaze shifted back to the parchment. “You sure about that?”

I nodded.

“I feel like we’re about to have a repeat of last night,” he remarked.

“Which part of last night?”

Ash’s gaze flicked up, once more meeting mine. “Both.”

Heat hit my blood as my mind bypassed the talking portion of last night and went straight to the fucking-me-until-I-fell-asleep part.

Ash started to lower the parchment as his citrusy scent reached me.

Reminding myself that Nektas would be showing soon, I forced my mind to more appropriate things. Once my blood had cooled, I refocused on my eather lessons.

“Shit.” Ash’s head jerked back. “I forgot.”

“Forgot what?” Curiosity surged as Ash didn’t answer but instead rose and turned to the credenza. When he faced me, he held the slim, black box I’d seen earlier.

He sat beside me. “I can’t believe I forgot this.” He offered me the box. “It’s for you.”

I took it. The weight immediately felt familiar. The whole thing did, except it had been Ector who had delivered it the first time. My eyes flew to Ash’s as my heart skipped a beat.

“Open it,” he urged.

I unfolded my legs and ran my thumb along the seam of the smooth wood. Slowly, I cracked it open.

A slight tremor ran down my arm as I stared at the stunning dagger cradled in the same cream cloth. It was somehow more beautiful than the last one he’d gifted me. The hilt was crafted from the same kind of lightweight, white material, but that was where the similarities ended. The pommel had been carved into a full moon, and etched into the grip were silver flames. Carved into the cross guard was the same swirling vine pattern as seen on the throne doors.

Wordless, I gripped the hilt and began pulling it free of its black sheath.

“Careful with the blade,” Ash warned.

The moment I saw it, I understood. My lips parted. This was no shadowstone dagger. The blade was slender and a dull white, sharpened into a fine, deadly point.

“This is made from the bone of an Ancient, isn’t it?” I whispered, my voice hoarse.

“It is.”

I swallowed, but a knot formed in my throat anyway. “How…?”

“Attes cleaved it from his bone spear,” he said. “And yes, he agreed to do it without me having to punch him.”

A shaky laugh escaped me as I stared down at the dagger. The blade wasn’t bare. Carefully chiseled into the bone with meticulous attention to detail in each stroke of fur and curve of ear was a wolf, its jaws open, baring teeth and breathing fire.

“He…he made this?” I asked, the piece of art blurring.

“He did,” Ash said. “Carvings and all. I asked him if he could the last time he was here.”

Wonder filled me as I shook my head. “Wow.”

He caught a stray curl and tucked it behind my ear. “I thought this one would be more personalized and symbolic.” His fingers lingered for a moment and then glided down my arm. “You’re the hand that wields the blade.”

My breath snagged. “‘A silver beast with blood seeping from its jaws of fire…’”

“‘Bathed in the flames of the brightest moon,’” he finished, his head tilting slightly. “Are you all right?”

Sucking in a shallow breath, I blinked several times. “Yes. It’s so beautiful, and I’m just…” I struggled to contain the riot of emotions building in me. “I don’t remember if I told you this or not, but I was never given gifts. Not during the Rites or for my birthday. It didn’t bother me before—or at least that was what I told myself.”

Ash had fallen silent as I spoke. I cleared my throat. “It seemed silly to feel bad about not getting gifts when so many people went to bed with empty bellies and no roofs over their heads, but I did care. Not because I wanted things. I just wanted to…”

“You wanted to be thought of,” he said.

I nodded, feeling my chest squeeze. “The shadowstone dagger you gave me before was my first gift. It will always be special to me.” Our eyes met. “Just as this one will be. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He dipped his head and kissed me. When his mouth lifted, he rested his head on mine. “Have I told you today how much I loathe your mother?”

“Not today.”

Ash was quiet for a moment. “Do you think you will see her later?”

“I…I don’t know. It all depends on if she is with Ezra.”

“And if she isn’t?” he asked. “Will you look for her?”

“I’m not sure.” Things were complicated between my mother and me. I hoped we could maybe repair our relationship someday, but Ash’s anger on my behalf went a long way to healing some of those long-festering wounds. Maybe that was a little messed up, but it was true. And it also made me want to be better—better at being Queen, the Primal of Life…at everything. But most importantly, his wife. His partner. I knew where to start. Well, I knew several ways to start.