My mouth dropped open.

“I held back with Kyn, but it seems you’ve forgotten that I killed a Primal in anger. And I don’t regret doing it,” he continued. “I can tell you right now that Nektas wouldn’t have been able to stay my hand. Not when Hanan was standing between you and me.” He ran his thumb across my lower lip. “But he was able to reach you. So don’t feel too bad about it.”

I let what he said sink in. Ash hadn’t walked that line between vengeance and justice as well as I believed. And that made me feel a little better about what had almost happened, as messed up as that was.

So, I let go of the guilt and shifted my focus to what had preyed upon my mind as I stood out on the balcony. “As much as I hate to admit this, I think Veses was telling the truth about coming here to get you to talk me into taking Kolis’s deal.”

He tucked a shorter strand of my hair back behind an ear. “What makes you think that?”

I fixed the collar of his tunic. “Like I said before, she…cares about you—in her own twisted, messed-up way.” I quickly moved past that point before I slipped into a rage spiral. “She said I would regret not taking the deal.”

His jaw flexed. “Did she say this before or after you handed her ass to her?”

My lips twitched as I glanced down at my hands. “After I…” I frowned, staring at my nails. I had thought I’d gotten all the blood out from under them, but a tiny speck of dark red remained. It wasn’t that which caused my spine to straighten, though. “My nails grew.”

He looked down at my hands. “They look normal to me.”

“I know, but they lengthened and sharpened.” My eyes widened as I remembered what had happened when Aydun first showed. What had Nektas said then? Something about the…claws coming out. “Today wasn’t the first time that happened. I wonder if that means I’ll be able to shift sooner than you could.”

Lifting my left hand, he kissed the center of my palm. “Wouldn’t that make you special?”

“More special than you. Yes.”

He chuckled. “That’s okay. My fangs are still substantially more impressive than yours.”

I grinned, thoroughly enjoying his teasing because, gods, I really hadn’t realized how badly I’d missed the side of him I’d seen in the mortal realm. When he was just Ash, able to shed the weight of responsibility and forget the cause of the blood drops inked into his flesh for a little while. But that was who he was. He was once more that Ash.

A wide, likely half-crazed-looking smile spread across my lips, and I didn’t care about how I looked because this was us. Who we had been when we were strangers, then friends, enemies, and now…lovers. This was simply who we were when we were together. And if he was reading my emotions now, he would taste nothing but the sweetest, chocolate-dipped strawberries.

Nothing but love.

Veses’ warning followed me as the day progressed. It was hard not to think about it, even as Ash and I spent the better part of the day in the courtyard training alongside the guards.

The tension in my muscles that accompanied each swing of the sword and even the impact of the blades meeting felt so damn good. I broke a sweat but didn’t tire as I had before I Ascended. Not even after switching off with Bele, who managed to knock me on my ass. It had taken hours for me to tap out. Never in my life had I trained for that long.

Holland, wherever he was, would be proud.

We’d spent the evening with the Shadowlands gods, discussing battle strategy in case things went south and a full-scale war broke out. Where we would attack first, if we would. The best way to lay siege to Dalos. It wasn’t an easy conversation to have without knowing who our allies or enemies were.

I hated the fucking eirini.

With each passing day, it was getting harder not to think like Bele. To call for a meeting and reject Kolis’s offer.

But that wouldn’t be wise. It’d be reckless and a slew of other bad things. As much as I loathed the eirini, it gave us time to prepare the tomb beneath Oak Ambler.

It gave us time.

Gods, I should be asleep instead of staring at the ceiling.

At least I wasn’t staring at Ash like a creeper.

My mind wouldn’t shut down, alternating between, well…everything. Would Kolis wait out the eirini? How would he respond once I summoned the Primals? What about the prophecy? Then there was the confusing storm of conflicting emotions that had reared its head once more this evening when I fed from Ash, and he’d declined my offer. I’d felt relief and disappointment at the same time. Then shame. That still scalded each breath I took.

And if I wasn’t thinking about all of that, it was what Attes had confirmed about Sotoria when I saw him last and how desperate she must have been to ask such a thing of Eythos.

And how hard it had to be for Eythos to carry out her request.

It also made me think about how close I had come to the very same thing but for vastly different reasons—and by my own hand. Had Sotoria’s soul been aware of what I had done when I took too much of the sleeping aid? I didn’t think so, and I was grateful for that.

I didn’t want to dwell on Sotoria. It made me so godsdamn sad. And thinking about Sotoria—what was expected of her—made me angry. Obviously, we needed her to be reborn if we hoped to kill Kolis. None of the Primals were powerful enough to do it—at least not now. Maybe one day. But even if we succeeded in entombing Kolis, there would always be a risk to Sotoria.

I eventually shifted my thoughts to the reason behind spending the day training with mortal weapons. Not only was it important to keep those reflexes honed, but fighting with the essence against another Primal could spell disaster for the mortal realm. Still, there would be times when using the Primal essence was inevitable—when violence fueled the will behind it.

But there had been an impact when I’d used the eather against Kolis, and I worried about how that had played out in the mortal realm. What would the repercussions of anything that happened from here on out be?

I worried about my family.

And something else also occupied the back of my mind as I watched the silvery glow of starlight ripple across the ceiling. It was a feeling that I was supposed to remember something.

Something really important.

I searched my thoughts. They raced and came together like run-on sentences. I ended up back on the prophecy. Frustrated, I blew out an aggravated breath.

“Liessa,” Ash murmured, his sleep-roughened voice startling me. “Why are you not asleep?”

My lips pursed. “I am sleeping.”

His chuckle was low and throaty. “Want to try answering that again?”

I crossed my arms over the soft, knit blanket. “I’m just thinking.”

“About?”

“Everything.”

“I’m not sure it’s possible to think about everything.”

“My brain would like to disagree with that assumption.” I tilted my head to the side. In the darkness, I could see that his eyes were closed. “And how did you know I was awake?”

“I just did.”

My brows rose. “Care to elaborate?”

“I can’t explain it better than that.” He brushed several strands of hair back from his face. “I just knew you were awake, so I woke up.”

“That’s…different.”

“Is it?” The bed shifted as Ash rolled onto his side to face me. “Want to tell me what one of those things you were thinking about was?”

I started to tell him but stopped. “It’s not important enough to keep you awake.”

“Now I’m the one who gets to disagree.” Ash’s arm came around my waist. “If it’s important enough to keep you awake, it’s important enough for me to know.”

Gods.

That statement wasn’t just sweet. It was perfect.

“Liessa?”

Drawing in a shallow breath, I plucked out what felt most important at the moment. It likely wasn’t, but it mattered to me. “If we cannot prevent a full-scale war, what kind of damage could we be looking at?”