Unspoken rules have formed among the groups. The knights sit nearest the food tables. I’m pretty sure a couple of them know the cooks, or at least, they’re definitely favoured by them, as the piles of pastries on their plates are substantially larger than on anyone else’s. Zara, Shim, and the other Rettlings from Rowell take the table by the main staircase. I’m pretty sure it’s so they can glare at everyone coming in and out, which is what they do best. Thankfully, I use the thinner staircase at the other end of the hall, meaning I get to avoid some of their glowers, though they normally switch their attention to me when they see I’ve arrived, and in truth, I can’t blame them. Zara’s burns have mostly healed – rumour has it she goes to see the healers for hours every night – but there’s still scarring. I suspect there always will be.

The only Rowell Rettling I’ve ever heard speak beside Zara is Oke, who is equally vicious. So much so that she sent one of her group, Mattieu, to the healers on the first day of training with a knife throw to the arm. He was back sitting with her the next day, suggesting they’re a close-knit group, but I’ve never seen any of them laugh or even crack a smile. I’m not actually sure they’re capable of it.

So far, there have been no more threats on my life, but I don’t doubt Zara’s biding her time. I can’t blame her. If there’s one person I wouldn’t mind sending to Mortidem’s eternal darkness to have her powers redistributed, it’s definitely Zara.

I also wouldn’t mind sending Kyor. Or Holden. The list is ever-growing.

I’ve learned the crazy old lady from Dorain is called Seiren, and the younger, exceptionally tall woman who looks after her is Kestria and that every Rettling from Galreck is male. Rumour has it that the duke there forbade women from making offerings, but I struggle to believe that’s true. The dukes answer to the king and I can’t imagine any would be foolish enough to make their own rulings against his.

My group sits at the end near the fireplace – a choice of table for which I’m pretty sure I’m responsible, as my time shivering in the slums makes me naturally seek out heat. I’m still in awe of the size of the fires here. The four of us – the three who remain from the Eastern Isles and me – are a constant, but Jonas tends to spend just a short while with us before flitting around all of the other tables, excluding Zara’s. Estel joined us the first morning, though I haven’t seen her since. And as for Kyor … I’ve been blessed not to see him in the dining hall at all.

Unlike Zara and Shim’s group, it’s clear that Benny and Llinos have adopted humour as a way to cope with their loss, and the laughter is fairly constant. Normally, they are ribbing one another for mistakes they made in training or recalling some in-joke from years back, but for once, I’m not listening to the goading.

‘What’s that you’re reading?’ Llinos asks, leaning over my shoulder.

‘It’s a book on weapons.’

‘Ah yes, reading about fighting,’ Benny says, amused. ‘The best way to ensure you don’t actually win a fight. But hey, at least you’ll be able to evaluate what you did wrong when you’re stabbed.’

I shoot him a glare as Llin thumps him on the shoulder.

‘Thank you,’ I say with a smirk.

‘Any time.’

‘And I’m not reading about fighting,’ I inform him. ‘I know how to fight. I’m looking for something in particular.’

‘Want to tell us? Maybe I know what it is,’ Llin suggests. ‘I was a bit of a weapons geek when I was younger. And my party trick was telling you the exact length of any blade just by feeling its weight.’

‘Which is why the guys are grateful she chose women as her preference in bed.’ Benny snickers.

Llinos’s glower narrows. ‘One, not a choice. Two, a true blade master knows it’s not the length of the blade, but what you do with it. Too bad I heard you’re failing on both counts, Benny.’

‘If you ever want to find out …’

Llinos mock gags. ‘Please don’t. I’m eating.’

I shake my head.

‘It’s not just any weapon,’ I say, deciding to go with the truth. After all, Kyor has already seen it, and I don’t see any harm in telling the people I actually trust here. ‘It’s the knife the priestess used in the blood vow,’ I explain. Immediately, their faces pale and I realise what an idiot I am. Of all the things they didn’t need reminding of. ‘I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.’

‘No, it’s fine,’ Llinos says, drawing in a long breath to steady herself. ‘We asked. So what is it you’re looking into? The properties?’

‘No. Well, yes. But no. I was given a knife by a friend when I got accepted here. I’d never seen anything like it before but … well, it’s the same as the one the High Priestess used.’

Both pairs of eyes widen. ‘Seriously?’

‘Yep. I was looking to see if I could find out anything else about it, but I’ve not had any luck. It doesn’t help that I’m struggling to read at night like I normally do, what with all the early morning training with Zelle. Still, I’ve at least scanned through all the books I got from the library, and I’ve not found anything yet.’

‘You got books from the library?’ Llin says, latching onto a different part of the conversation. ‘We can go to the library here? I thought we could only stay in this arc, unless it was for the balls or trials.’

‘Yeah,’ I say. ‘The library is down in the basement and there’s access from the guards’ temple. Zelle knew I was heading there and didn’t say anything, so I don’t think it’s a problem.’

‘Can you take me there after morning training?’ she asks, her eyes lighting up. ‘Or just tell me how to get there, and I’ll go without you.’

‘I’ll come with you,’ I offer. ‘Although I was planning to go this morning after breakfast. Caroline was going to look for something for me and said that was the best time to catch her.’

‘Caroline?’ Llinos’s smile drops as her posture stiffens. ‘What does she look like, this Caroline person?’

‘Umm … similar age to us. Maybe a bit older. Warm blonde hair. Dark skin. And she was tall.’

‘Blonde? And how tall? Like a little taller than you or actually tall?’

I feel the blood drain from my cheeks. I got so wrapped up in looking for books that I forgot about the questions Caroline had asked me before we started the search. About whether I knew any Rettlings from the Eastern Isles. Gut churning, I realise that they almost certainly know each other, though it’s a moment later when I realise quite how well they might.

Caroline.

Caz.

‘I think I should take you there. Now,’ I insist.

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Chapter 24

‘How could you not have said you know a Caroline?’ Llin huffs, hot on my heels as I lead her and Benny through to the guards’ temple.

‘It wasn’t deliberate, I promise. I spoke to her just after the vows and everything was a mess. She only asked me once about the Isles, but then she said she didn’t want to know any more and I didn’t make the connection …’

‘Did you know? Did you know she was here?’ Llinos asks Benny.

‘No,’ he replies. When she responds with a withering glare, he stresses his answer with a little more force. ‘I promise, Llin, if I had known, I would’ve told you. Besides, we still don’t know if it is her.’

‘It’s her. I know it’s her. Honey-blonde hair with dark skin, that’s what you said, wasn’t it, Rose?’

I nod.

‘And her eyes. They’re brown-flecked with green, right? Like little green freckles.’

I didn’t think it was possible to look so closely at someone’s eyes as to see the colour of the freckles within them. But then I remember the way Kyor’s icy irises held me completely entranced in Etta’s temple the night of my offering.

‘I’m not sure,’ I admit.