I try to hold my gaze steady – try not to give anything away – but as my lips press together, a look of disbelief dawns on Jonas’s face.

‘He knows. Gods, he already knows.’ He shakes his head as he tugs his beard. When he looks back at me, his resolve has returned. ‘That doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t. You marry me, and I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe. You know I will. We can go wherever you want. Take Acacia and William⁠—’

I frown. Something about the way he says William’s name is off. ‘Why would we take your father’s ward?’

He combs his fingers back through his beard again. ‘He’s a brother to me,’ he says. ‘I won’t leave him behind. I’m just thinking through all of the logistics. Thinking through how it would work. What other choice do you have?’

‘I have the choice of winning the Retterheld.’ The words leave my mouth with utter conviction – the same conviction I felt all those months ago when I first entered Etta’s temple to give my offering. There’s no denying that my conviction has wavered at times since, that I even doubted my chances, but I don’t anymore. Etta let me in for a reason. And that’s to win this thing.

I stand there, back straight, with my eyes narrowed on Jonas, only for him to tut like I’m a small, incapable child rather than someone who has survived four fucking deadly trials. Someone who dragged him off the ice to safety in the third trial and convinced Kyor to save his life in the fourth. My hackles rise.

‘Even now. Even after all the times I’ve had to save you, you still don’t think I can do it. You still think I’m just some weak, powerless little girl.’

The slightest flush of embarrassment colours his cheeks, but it does nothing to douse the fury I’m feeling.

‘It’s the best of the best left, Rose. It’s not about you. You saw what Grenda’s capable of, and Zara wants you dead. She’ll put a sword through your stomach the instant the Ofur begins.’

‘I can do it. I know I can.’

‘And then what?’ His tone is so sharp it’s like being struck with tiny shards of glass. ‘You think you can just win, get your powers back, and then pretend like none of this ever happened?’

‘Yes. That’s exactly what I plan on doing.’

With a noise that could be a scoff or a laugh, he lifts his hands to his head. ‘That is insane, Rose. Do you even know how to control these new powers of yours? Or what you’re capable of? Because I know you, and I’m willing to bet that however you killed Oke, it wasn’t what you wanted to do, what you intended to do. It was the magic that did it. Not you.’

Pain claws through me as I bite the inside of my cheek. I don’t know what I hate more about this conversation: the fact that he thinks he has the right to speak to me like this, or that almost everything he’s saying is spot on.

‘Please, Jonas. Let it go. We’re not having this conversation here. It’s stupid and dangerous.’ I pause. ‘Please don’t mention this magic to anyone.’

‘I won’t. You know I won’t, Rose.’

I turn to go, but he catches me by the hand. Any anger that was in his eyes has now transformed into outright desperation.

‘Think about it. Please, Rose. It would keep you safe. And it’s not like you didn’t feel something for me before. You know, before he came along. We can rekindle it, the flame between us.’

There it is. The hurt. The jealousy. The fact that he thinks it should be him I’m with. As he continues to stare into my eyes, with all his vulnerability right there for me to see, the smallest fraction of my anger ebbs away.

‘Jonas, I love you as a friend. I always have. But as for it turning into something more … I guess we’ll never know now.’ I look down, mainly because I can’t bear to look at his face any longer, and my gaze lands on the book he’s holding. ‘I promise I’ll tell you whatever I find,’ I say, taking it from him. He lets me. ‘I’ll see you at training later.’ I walk back towards the staircase, and when I reach the bottom step, he calls my name again, the crack of urgency in his voice stopping me in my tracks.

‘I would be able to protect you as a husband, Rose. I can’t promise the same if I’m just your friend.’

I shake my head as I release a bitter laugh. ‘If you’re trying to blackmail me into marrying you, I think that’s a pretty sure sign you were never my friend in the first place.’

I don’t look back again.

I find Benny in the battle yard, staring intently at Grenda.

‘This is training?’ I ask him.

He starts to nod his head, only for the motion to turn into a shake, accompanied by a groan.

‘She has to have a tell. Something she does that will give us a chance to block her. If we can’t, then the rest of us don’t stand a chance. She could just freeze us all and leave us there until she’s finished the Ofur and won the Retterheld. The problem is that she isn’t using her bloody magic, so I can’t see if there’s a tell or not.’

Right now, Grenda is fighting Moryal and Del simultaneously, and they’re giving her a serious workout. I’ve seen her feet slip on the sand more than once, and she’s come precariously close to not blocking a couple of strikes. Strikes I’m not convinced they would’ve pulled, not if it gave them the chance to take her out of the running.

‘As far as I can tell, the only thing any of us have got on her is stamina,’ Benny tells me. ‘She’s the oldest left, so if it’s a five-day Ofur, we might stand a chance.’

‘A five-day trial? I think I’ll throw in the towel now,’ I groan.

He laughs, but it fades as he looks at me properly. A crinkle forms between his brows.

‘You okay?’ he asks. ‘You look like shit.’

‘Just what every woman wants to hear,’ I huff. I clear my throat. ‘Actually, any chance you and I can have a chat later? Maybe up in my old room.’

His eyebrows bob. ‘It must be serious if you want us to risk the death-trap stairs.’

‘If you can’t manage the stairs, you’re going to be screwed when it comes to the Ofur.’

‘Good point. After dinner?’

‘Perfect.’

Several hours later, I’m sitting on the ash-covered sheets of my old bed, having told Benny everything. Unlike with Jonas, where I was vague about what happened on the ice with Oke, I didn’t hide anything – from the way the ice radiated from my hand and killed her, to the way I froze the water to stop myself from plunging to an icy death. I even tell him about the way Kyor was trying to help me train it, and the times I’ve felt the tingle of power buzz beneath the surface of my palm. With that covered, I move on to Jonas and his offer, or rather threat, of marriage.

‘Fucking arsehole,’ Benny mutters. The two words are all I need to assure me I made the right choice in telling him. ‘That’s a hell of a lot to deal with, Rosey. How are you feeling now?’

‘Scared,’ I admit.

‘Of the powers, or the fact that Lorathin is so desperate to get into your pants he’d blackmail you?’

I grimace.

Thankfully, Benny fills the silence. ‘What do you need from me? How can I help?’

Benny’s simple offer of solidarity is everything, and I close my eyes as an all-too-familiar heat burns behind them. I never used to be a crier, and now it feels like it’s all I do.

‘I don’t know.’ I reach out and squeeze his hand gratefully. ‘I got this book from the library and was going to see if it could help, but I don’t even know what’s in it yet.’

‘Shall I have a look? I’m pretty good at skim-reading.’

He takes the book and flicks it open, but rather than looking at the page, he continues to stare at me.

‘My grandmother, the Dowager, used to say,’ he begins. ‘Well, I can’t remember exactly how she put it … but basically, when she was training me and my brother, and we got frustrated that our powers weren’t working the way we wanted them to, she would say that everyone’s powers can turn up when they’re scared or angry. But if they show themselves when you’re feeling safe, that’s how you know you’ll be able to control them. She used to tell us to chase that safe feeling – the feeling of home.’