“It’s time, Your Majesty,” she said simply.

No.

No, I needed more time. Needed to think through this decision.

You’re blinded by lust, a cynical part of me hissed. You’d put your body’s desire over your true kingdom? Knowing what he is, what they are?

It’s more than lust, another part argued. The tender words weren’t lies. The way he looked at me, right before I kissed him, half-stunned and then so satisfied against me, so coaxing. He wasn’t just another monster.

The thought wasn’t strong enough to overpower the memories of the bodies. My nightmares since childhood. But that’s their nature. They can’t change, they can’t help it.

My internal debate was cut too short as Raphael pulled away. Even though the alcove sheltered me from the worst of the outside chill, it found me immediately, like an aquamancer had formed ice shackles around me. My skirts fell back down, rumpled, and I did my best to smooth them out as though the biggest problem I had was appearing unkempt in front of the court.

Raphael gave me a regretful look. The normally composed king looked, for once, disheveled himself. His cloak was off-center, from me yanking the chain. His lips swollen and slightly darkened from the cosmetics Thea had placed on me. I froze my features to hide my own feelings.

I’d have given anything in that moment to go back to two minutes ago, when nothing had mattered but the pleasure between us.

Pleasure I’d never feel again. Not that way.

“I would take you away right now,” he murmured as I slid my palm into his offered hand. “But of all nights, this is our sacred one. For the king not to take blood would be seen as heretical. It would be to spit in Anagenni’s face.” He composed himself, rolling his shoulders back.

“I understand.” There was nothing more to say. My time had run out.

We reentered the ballroom. I wanted to vomit. The scent of copper—blood—tinged the air. There were no goblets of blood, not for the vampires. Instead, a quick scan of the crowd revealed the source. Wrists and necks alike were perforated with bite marks. One man had marks on either side of his neck; a woman’s wore twin red bracelets of dried blood. I stopped looking closely after that, my field of view going blurry until there was only Raphael, leading me forward, his broad shoulders covered in black lace and red jewels.

He wore red jewels. I would wear blood.

Blood and blood and blood.

He stopped in the center of the ballroom and addressed the crowd.

“People of Damerel.” He didn’t need to bellow for his voice to be heard through the ballroom. No one so much as dared whisper while the king was speaking. “The time has come again to honor Anagenni with our most sacred rite, the taking of blood. Tonight, we all drink from the vein, and only the vein. Tonight, we show our power, and honor the goddess-guided hierarchy Anagenni instilled.”

He moved behind me. Two words, so soft I wasn’t sure I heard them, were breathed against my hair. Then Raphael bent his head. His hair tickled the back of my neck. His fingers held my wrists—my pulse points—at my side. I stiffened in his embrace. Hundreds of eyes on us, on this moment. Somewhere, I was certain, Titus watched with bated breath. Guilt welled in me. I was about to commit the ultimate betrayal. I had justified the logic over and over in my head, but I was nothing more than a scared rat, caught in a trap, waiting for my neck to be snapped.

Two sharp points grazed the column of my throat.

He was going to—

I was going to—

“No!”

The room froze at my cry.

“I’m sorry.” I wasn’t sure who I said it to. “I can’t do this.”

OceanofPDF.com

Chapter Forty-Seven

I fled the ballroom as fast as I could. The crowd parted, uncertain.

“Don’t follow me,” I begged, knowing he’d hear me.

Raphael simply stood there, a stunned look on his face.

I turned away and ran faster. But Iademos was on my tail, and I couldn’t have a guard for what I was about to do.

I had to leave. Now.

Pardon or no pardon, I couldn’t be here any longer.

“Leave me be,” I insisted, knowing the general would hear me.

“I’m to guard you,” he replied from the shadows. Where my voice shook, winded as I ran quickly, his was even, monotone.

“An hour,” I said. “Give me an hour. I’m going to my rooms. I… I need to be alone.”

“Raphael would behead me if I did not see you there.”

I made a hysterical sound and continued to run. The little rat in me knew only one thing—scurry, escape, faster. The stone steps turned to familiar carpet as I reached my chambers. The halls were empty—everybody on this level and below would be at the ballroom.

“Leave, Iademos. I want to be alone. I’ll be in my rooms the entire night—and Raphael will behead you for not listening to my wishes,” I bluffed.

“As you listened to his?” he snapped.

I flinched at the ire in his normally carefully controlled voice. “Just leave me be,” I pleaded, more forcefully.

Demos looked displeased, but he turned on his heel and left. I watched him disappear around the corner, then shut my door. I locked it, even though I would be gone in a matter of minutes.

I need to leave.

Damn Titus and all his bargains. Damn Raphael and his confusing words.

I couldn’t cause his death… but I couldn’t stay here either. One small bag was packed and stashed within my bed. What was left of the coins from when I’d arrived, some jewelry Amalthea had foisted on me I didn’t think she’d miss. I slung it over my shoulder and went for the grimoire. The necromancer—I’d find them. Even if it meant going back to the Witch Kingdom and certain death.

The vampires celebrated Anagenni by taking human blood, but this was the will written in the book. The goddess wanted a witch to rein the vampires in. I would give the witch the tool they needed for that.

I’d had nothing before.

I can do it again. I wished the thought felt less like cleaving my heart in two. Now I had a purpose.

I cast a look around the room, something thick and hot in my throat I couldn’t quite swallow. It had been my home for several months. Now that I was leaving, I could admit that to myself. There was no other explanation for the grief that sliced through me. It had been more of a home than I’d had in many years. Raphael, Thea, Demos—not a family, exactly, but I’d had people I was safe with.

Grieve later. Get out now.

The ballgown was cumbersome when it came to escaping. I’d needed Amalthea to get dressed in it. Undoing the lacing would be nearly impossible by myself. A pair of trousers and a tunic would have to suffice for when I had time to change. I bent into the dresser and selected the least conspicuous colors, then quickly set them aside. I’d have to use the dagger on my thigh to cut myself out of the dress.

“Where, precisely, do you think you’re going?”

I jerked upright and slammed the drawer shut behind me.

Titus.

His invisible magic slid away, revealing the spymaster. He was only a few feet away, dressed in nondescript gray servant clothing. His dark eyes latched on to my bag with accusation.

“I locked that door.” I knew I had.

He smiled, but there was nothing friendly in it. “Doors are nothing when you have cards that let you move through walls, you foolish chit. Now, I’ll ask once more: Where do you think you’re going?”

“I’m leaving.” I willed my hands not to shake. “I know this means no pardon, but I just… I can’t do it.”

His lips twisted with contempt. I felt echoes of the emotion inside me. What kind of woman would betray her kingdom like this?

Perhaps the Witch Kingdom hadn’t been mine since they locked me in Greymere. And I hadn’t been theirs since I made a deal with a vampire to break out.