“Thank you.”

Buroudei gave a low growl, then before I knew it he’d yanked me up, carrying me close against his chest, back into his tent. I thought about protesting, and kicking and fighting to be let down, but slowly I realized that I just didn’t want to. I was flying high from the fact that we’d just talked to each other. Well, sort of. I was so excited by our new connection, and about the fact that he was going to help me. Tears burned in my eyes. It finally felt like I was making some kind of progress, that things were maybe starting to go alright after disaster after disaster. I looked up, almost dreamily, at Buroudei’s strong jaw, his fierce expression, as he carried me into the tent.

“What’s the next step up from ‘I’m so happy I could kiss you’? I’m so happy I could fuck you?” God, I felt crazy, and maybe this was crazy, but I knew in that moment that of Buroudei tried something again, I would go for it.

But he didn’t try anything. A soft “oof” of disappointment came out of my mouth involuntarily as Buroudei deposited me onto the collection of hides that was his bed. Then he stood, speaking softly, the only words I recognized being “dakrival hide” and “irkdu.” I frowned, gesturing at the straining behind his loincloth.

“You should really stay and take advantage of this, buddy. I don’t know if I’m going to feel this insane tomorrow.”

Buroudei looked pained, but he spoke again, more quickly this time, his words coming like gruff barks. He bent and brushed his fingertips over my forehead, down my jaw, then down the length of my braid, fingering the smooth tail of my hair. I moved up to my knees, clutching at his hand, pressing it against my neck.

The sound he made was strangled as he pulled away. Without another word, he turned, leaving the tent, the flap falling closed behind him with a finality that made me want to cry.

“Well, fine then. Whatever. Go do whatever alien business is so pressing,” I huffed. With an annoyed groan, I flopped down into the bed, pulling the hides around myself, burrowing down and nursing my pride. If Buroudei came back that night, I wasn’t aware of it. I fell asleep alone, and did not dream.

WHEN I WOKE THE NEXT morning, Rika was waiting for me once again. Similarly to yesterday, she remained glued to my side, and honestly, I was glad for the company. Though we couldn’t understand each other’s words, we were getting used to our unique language of gestures. I liked being around her, and that went for the other members of the tribe I’d gotten the chance to interact with, too. I kept my eyes peeled for Buroudei, unable to help myself. I caught flashes of him now and then, usually deep in conversation with an exceptionally tall warrior (exceptionally tall even by their standards), but like yesterday, he seemed extremely busy. I ignored the little niggle of pain I felt at not being able to spend time with him. Stupid. You should be focusing on more important things. More important things like when we’d be going back to the ship. I realized that Buroudei and I didn’t have a way to communicate when that was happening. He’d said he’d take me, but when? He might not have understood how much I needed to go get my human supplies.

He didn’t join us for the evening meal, and once again I ended up at his tent alone with a plate of food. Why do I feel like I got stood up? My feelings were ridiculous, but they were hurt all the same. When he finally did arrive, long after dark had fallen, I greeted him with a cold shrug, pointing to the plate. He looked at it, then slashed his tail, holding his hand out to me the way I had to him last night.

“Oh, so you don’t even have time to eat the meal I slaved over?”

That was mostly a joke, of course. I had no idea what I was doing by the massive communal fire, and I just collected the pieces of meat that Rika had set aside for Buroudei. This must be what women feel like when their husbands get home late for dinner. I flushed. Hold on, husband? I hadn’t been here that long, had I? Long enough that I was actually thinking about settling down with an alien?

We’ll think about that one later.

Either way, I still took his hand.

OceanofPDF.com

OceanofPDF.com

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN Buroudei

I was a Gahn, certainly. But by now I should have been regarded as a true god among men for the restraint that I had shown. Zeezee had seemed different last night, like she would have actually welcomed my cock if I had offered it. Perhaps I was a fool for refusing.

A fool. A god.

Maybe both.

But there had been no time. Knowing that I had to prepare for our trip back to the fallen creature on top the looming battle with Gahn Fallo meant that I had to use every spare moment I had. And that had meant leaving her in the tent so I could create her irkdu saddle and her riding garments. I could have assigned the task to one of the women, but it had felt important that I did it myself. The fact she’d gotten so injured the first time she’d ridden my mount with me was still a hot blade of shame in my guts. This was the smallest sort of recompense. I would learn every intricacy of her kind. I would learn exactly how to provide for her. I would spend the rest of my life making sure something like that never happened again.

And so I’d stayed up half the night, working the hides the way my mother had done when she was still alive. And after I’d finished, though I’d longed to plunge myself into Zeezee’s warm, soft body, I’d slept at Galok’s tent. She’d need her rest, too, for the journey.

Now that darkness had fallen, it was time. The zeelk were less active at night, and Zeezee wouldn’t be as susceptible to the sun and heat. We didn’t have many nights left before Gahn Irokai returned with his men. It had to be now.

Zeezee’s hand was so small in mine. It made my heart ache. The full weight of her vulnerability was crashing down upon me. Just existing in my world was a danger to her. And now she was going to be in even more danger as we travelled back to the body of the fallen creature. I did not like it. Not at all. But I knew with increasing certainty that it had to be done. Best to get it over with quickly.

Zeezee said nothing as we walked, which was unusual for her. I’d been half-expecting her to try out any newly acquired words on me, and felt a pang in my chest when she didn’t. Perhaps her mind is on the journey ahead.

I led Zeezee away from the tents, towards the boulders and the peet grass. The irkdu roamed slowly, munching on grass. Some of them slept. I whistled, sharp and low, and my mount roused itself, moving towards us.

Zeezee said something, then, and she sounded unhappy. I squeezed her hand, the way she’d squeezed mine yesterday.

“Do not worry, Zeezee. I have made better preparations this time.”

I moved to where I’d stored our supplies between two of the smaller boulders. Zeezee clutched at my hand, following closely, keeping her eye warily pinned to my irkdu. It was wise of her – though my animal was well-trained and would not intentionally hurt her, it could crush her with one wrong roll of its huge body.

I had already collected everything I imagined we would need. We would likely be back before sunrise, but I had brought Zeezee’s shielding cloak all the same, as well as the hard shells she wore on her feet during the day. The fabric garments she wore between her feet and the shells were wearing thin in places, so I’d fashioned her new ones from the softest, thinnest parts of the dakrival hide. I’d reinforced her leg garments with much tougher dakrival leather along the inner thighs, cutting away the bloodied parts, and had crafted a saddle of sorts using a frame of bone and more heaped layers of leather. We used saddles like these for our cubs when learning how to ride, when their legs were too short to comfortably remain seated, so I already knew the basic design. It was adorable, and terrifying, that I only had to make the saddle slightly larger for Zeezee than we would make them for our tribe’s children. I had valok and dried meat to sustain us, tucked into the pockets of the saddle, as well as long leather cords to lash any other items to the irkdu. I had no idea what we were going back to collect, but we should have had enough to be prepared. Even if we were getting something large, it could trail behind the irkdu, tied with the cords. I had collected weapons, too: an extra zeelk spur spear, several knives, and my axe.