“In his defense, he’s not spoiled by it. But he’s not motivated, either.”

“I see your point,” she said.

“I’m waiting again, Sarah. Different reasons, different guy, but four years later I’m still waiting.”

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Chapter 60 – T.J.

The dog bounded into Anna’s apartment and almost knocked her over. She bent down and it licked her face. I dropped the leash on the coffee table and said, “Happy birthday. I couldn’t get that thing in a box if I tried.”

She stood up and kissed me. “I forgot I told you I wanted a dog.”

“Golden retriever. Full-grown. From a shelter. I’ve been looking everywhere. They told me someone found him wandering by the side of the road, no collar, or tags. Skin and bones.” When Anna heard that she dropped to her knees and hugged the dog, petting its soft fur. It licked her again, thumped its tail, and ran around in circles.

“It seems healthy now,” she said.

“You’re not gonna name it Dog, are you?” I teased.

“No. That would be silly. I’m going to name it Bo. I’ve had the name picked out for a long time.”

“Then it’s a good thing it’s a boy.”

“He’s the perfect gift, T.J. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. I’m glad you like him.”

***

Anna still hadn’t found a teaching job by the middle of June. She had an interview that went well, at a high school out in the suburbs. She blew it off when she didn’t get the job, but she had trouble falling asleep that night, and I found her in the living room reading a book with Bo’s head in her lap at three in the morning.

“Come back to bed.”

“I’ll be there in a minute,” she said. But when I woke up the next morning her side of the bed was still empty.

She filled her days babysitting Joe and Chloe, reading, and going for long runs. We spent hours outside, either on her small terrace or at the dog park with Bo. We watched the Cubs play at Wrigley Field, and we went to concerts in the park.

She seemed restless, though, no matter how busy we kept ourselves. She stared off into space sometimes, lost in thought, but I never quite had the balls to ask her what she was thinking about.

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Chapter 61 – Anna

“Look what came in the mail,” I said when I walked in the door, dropping my keys on the table.

T.J. sat on the couch watching T.V. Bo slept beside him.

“What is it?”

“It’s the registration form for the GED preparation class. I called the other day and asked them to send information. I thought you could sign up, and I could start helping you study.”

“I can start in the fall.”

“They have summer sessions, though, and if you start now, you can finish by the end of August and then maybe enroll at a community college in September. If I manage to find a teaching job, we can both be at school all day.”

T.J. clicked off the television. I sat down beside him, scratching Bo behind the ears. Neither one of us said anything for a minute.

“At least one of us should be able to get on with their lives,” I said.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked.

“I can’t find a job. You can go to school.”

“I don’t want to be cooped up inside all day.”

“You’re inside right now.”

“I was just waiting for you to get home so we could take Bo for a walk. What are you really trying to say, Anna?”

My heart started pounding. “We can’t keep trying to re-create the island here in this apartment.”

“This apartment is nothing like the island. We have everything we need.”

“No, you have everything you need. I don’t.”

“I love you, Anna. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” His words carried an unspoken meaning. I’ll marry you. We’ll have a family together.

I shook my head. “You can’t know that, T.J.”

“Of course not,” he said sarcastically. “How could I possibly know what I want? I’m only twenty.”

“I’ve never talked down to you because of your age.”

He threw his hands up. “You just did.”

“There are things you need to finish. And so many things you haven’t had a chance to start. I can’t take that away from you.”

“What if I don’t want those things, Anna? What if I want you instead?

“For how long, T.J.?”

Realization dawned on his face. “You’re afraid I won’t stay?”

“Yes,” I whispered. “That’s exactly what I’m afraid of.” What if T.J got tired of playing house, and decided that settling down wasn’t what he really wanted?

“After all we’ve been through together you don’t trust me enough to believe I’ll stick around?” The hurt in his eyes turned to anger. “Bullshit, Anna.” He walked over to the window and stared outside. Turning back around he said, “Why don’t you just say what you really mean? That you want to look for someone your own age.”

“What?” I had no clue where he’d gotten that idea.

“You’d rather have a guy that’s older. Someone people don’t treat like a kid.”

“That’s not true, T.J.”

“There’ll always be some asshole who thinks he can hit on you right in front of me. They don’t take me seriously. To them, you’re the one killing time. Did you ever think that I might worry about you leaving me?”

An emotionally charged silence filled the apartment. The minutes felt like hours as both of us waited for the other to say that our fears weren’t justified, but neither of us did.

I thought it would hurt less if I ripped the band-aid off quickly. “You need to be on your own, T.J., and know what that’s like before you can be sure you want to be with someone.”

The look on his face was pure anguish. He crossed the room and hesitated, standing only a few steps away from me, staring into my eyes. Then he turned his back on me and walked out the door, slamming it behind him.

I didn’t sleep that night. I sat on the couch in the dark, crying into Bo’s fur. The next morning I left the apartment early, having promised Sarah I’d watch the kids while she and David went to Sunday brunch. When I got back I discovered T.J. had ripped off a band-aid of his own because all his things were gone and his key to my apartment was on the kitchen table.

It hurt like hell.

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Chapter 62 – T.J.

Ben and I rented a two-bedroom apartment for the summer, on the third floor of an old building four blocks from Wrigley Field. His parents moved to Florida after telling him they were tired of the snow and cold. Ben didn’t mind since he and his older brother both went to college out of state, but he needed somewhere to live until classes started back up in the fall.

“You wanna get a place with me, Callahan?” he’d asked. “We can party like nobody’s business.”

“Why not,” I’d answered. If Anna was so determined not to have me miss out on anything, sharing an apartment with my best friend was probably a step in the right direction.

Ben was majoring in finance and accounting and he somehow managed to land an internship at a downtown bank. He had to wear a tie every day.

I talked my way into a construction job, and I was out in the suburbs every morning by 7:00 a.m., framing houses. I caught a ride with a guy on the crew, and he taught me everything I needed to know and kept me from looking like a complete dumbass. It wasn’t that different from building the house on the island except I used a nail gun and there was a lot more lumber lying around.