“Yes. I’m with him.” The way Anna said it, so confident, and the way she looked at him like he was a total dumbass made me feel better than the actual words.

Our server walked over. “I’m sorry,” she said to me. “I need to see your ID.”

I shrugged. “I’m underage. I don’t like the wine anyway. Go ahead and take it.”

She smiled, said sorry, and took my glass away. Spence couldn’t handle it.

“You’re not even twenty-one?” His barely contained laughter broke the silence at the table as everyone tried to act like what happened wasn’t totally humiliating for me.

We looked down at our menus. Anna and I still had trouble choosing something to eat in a restaurant. Too many choices.

“What are you getting?” I asked her.

“Steak. What about you?” She grabbed my hand, lacing her fingers through mine.

“I don’t know. Maybe pasta. You like ravioli, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. I’ll get that and we can share.”

Stefani tried to keep the conversation going. Our server came back and took our order. Spence stared at Anna’s chest and smirked, not even trying to hide it. I knew what he was thinking when he looked at her like that, and it took everything I had not to punch him.

When Spence got up to go to the bathroom Stefani said, “I’m sorry. I heard his wife left him, and I thought asking him to join us would be a nice thing to do.”

“It’s okay. Just ignore him,” Anna said. “I am.”

No one refilled Spence’s wine glass and by the time we finished eating, he seemed a little more sober.

Our server offered dessert but no one wanted any. She told us she’d be back with the check.

“Stefani and I are going to the restroom,” Anna said. “We’ll wait for you by the door.”

Rob and I both tried to pick up the check and finally agreed to split it, each of us pulling out cash. Spence threw a handful of bills on the table. I shoved my wallet in my pocket and stood up.

Rob pushed his chair back, said goodbye to Spence without shaking his hand, and headed for the front of the restaurant.

Spence didn’t get up. “I’m sorry you aren’t old enough to drink with the grownups,” he said, slouching in his chair.

“I’m sorry you can’t touch my hot girlfriend. And I don’t really like wine anyway.”

I laughed at his expression and joined Anna, Stefani, and Rob by the front door.

“What’d you say to him?” Anna asked.

“I told him it was nice to meet him.”

“I’m sorry about tonight,” Anna said, when we got into the cab.

“It wasn’t your fault.” I put my arm around her.

Not being able to drink at the restaurant hadn’t bothered me but the way Spence looked at Anna had. I knew she wasn’t interested in him, but I worried about the next guy. The one who wasn’t a drunk asshole. The one who had a college degree, liked wine, and didn’t mind wearing a tie. I worried that someday, maybe soon, it would matter to her that I wasn’t interested in any of those things.

And when I thought about her being with another guy, I couldn’t stand it.

I kissed her as soon as we were inside her apartment, and I wasn’t gentle about it, holding her face firmly in my hands and pressing my lips hard against hers. She wasn’t anyone’s to own – I knew that – but right then she was mine. When we reached the bedroom, I pulled the dress over her head. Her bra came off next and then I pushed her underwear down off her hips until they dropped on the floor. I yanked off my tie and got out of the rest of my clothes. Laying her down on the bed, I bent my head to the place Spence had stared at all night, sucking and leaving a mark that would take days to fade. I touched and kissed her until she was ready, and once I was inside her, I made myself go slow, the way she liked it. When she came she said my name, and I thought, I’m the one that does that to her. I’m the one that makes her feel that way.

Afterward, I went into the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge. I took it back into the bedroom and clicked on the T.V., keeping the volume low. Anna slept, the sheets tangled around her waist. Pulling the covers up, I tucked them gently around her shoulders with one hand and cracked my beer open with the other.

OceanofPDF.com

Chapter 57 – Anna

In April, the spring rains stalled over Chicago for two days, keeping us inside.

T.J. flipped aimlessly through the channels. I lay on the couch with my feet in his lap, reading a book.

“Do you want to go to a movie?” he asked, turning off the T.V.

“Sure,” I said. “What do you want to see?”

“I don’t know. Let’s just walk to the theater and choose one.”

I put on a jacket and we left the apartment, walking through the pouring rain while T.J. held an umbrella over our heads. He took my hand. I squeezed it and smiled when he squeezed it back.

T.J. wanted to see Batman Begins. We were standing in line to buy popcorn when someone tapped him on the shoulder.

We turned around. A tall guy in a baseball cap stood next to a petite girl wearing a pink hoodie, her hair up in a ponytail.

T.J. smiled. “Hey, Coop. What’s going on?”

“Just trying to find something to do until it stops raining.”

“Tell me about it. This is Anna,” T.J. said, draping an arm over my shoulders.

“Hi,” Coop said. “This is my girlfriend, Brooke.”

“Nice to meet you both,” I said.

“I keep forgetting you’re in town,” T.J. said.

“I’ll be stuck at community college forever if I don’t get my grades up.”

“Let’s hang out sometime,” T.J. said.

“My parents are going out of town next month. I’ll have a party. You guys should come.” Coop smiled at me, and I sensed the invitation was genuine.

“Yeah, that’d be cool,” T.J. said.

I glanced at Brooke while T.J. and Coop talked. She was staring at me, her mouth hanging open. To her, I probably seemed ancient.

Her unlined face and rosy skin looked radiant. She had no idea, the way I hadn’t when I was twenty, how beautiful young skin was. Though I had often worn T.J.’s baseball cap and my sunglasses on the island, there were times when I hadn’t. I thought of the years the sun had beat down on me, and I expected to wake up some morning and discover that my face had turned into leather while I slept. I spent more time than I was comfortable admitting trying to reverse the skin damage the island sun had inflicted, the counter of my bathroom crowded with all the lotions and creams the dermatologist had recommended. My skin appeared healthy, but there was no comparison between twenty and thirty-three. T.J. thought I was beautiful; he told me so. But what about five years from now? Ten?

We walked into the theater and found seats. T.J. put his popcorn between his legs and rested his hand on my thigh. I couldn’t concentrate on the movie. Images of T.J. and me drinking keg beer out of plastic cups in Coop’s living room while everyone gawked at me crowded my thoughts.

T.J. had done a great job fitting in with my friends. He’d endured Spence’s obnoxious behavior and being ID’d for wine he had no desire to drink in the first place. Wearing a tie wasn’t his thing, but he did it anyway. He’d carried on a conversation with Rob and Stefani, and he made it look effortless.

It was easier to age up, if you wanted to, by wearing nice clothes and emulating the behavior of people who were older. If I tried to fit in with T.J.’s twenty-something friends by dressing and acting like them, I’d look ridiculous.

The rain had ended by the time we left the theater. We followed the crowd and started walking. I stopped on the sidewalk.

“What’s wrong?” T.J. asked.