The furry body continues to quiver, however, and I make soothing noises at it as I continue the short walk back to camp.

It is strange the Crigomar are active in this area. They usually keep to lower swamps, off this range and away from our inhabited areas. I purse my lips. It is not good that they are so close. We cannot afford to lose more Suevans, and the Crigomar are efficient and brutal hunters, especially in pairs.

My fangs worry my lower lip.

I may not have the time needed to continue courting my mate. If the Crigomar encroach on our cities, I need to warn my people, so that they can prepare to evacuate or fight.

I heave a sigh. Between the separatists and the Crigomar it is a less than ideal situation.

The cool, damp air of the cave greets me, and I step further inside. To my surprise, Ni-Kee sits at the fire, stoking it and eating a piece of smoked troblek. Her face is troubled, and she does not look up when I enter, as though she is so absorbed in her thoughts that she does not hear me.

The zoleh vaults from my shoulder, clearing the distance to my mate in record time.

“Hi there,” she says softly, and the creature climbs into her lap, rubbing its furry head against her and sighing in contentment. “Where have you been? I was worried about you,” she tells it, and a pang of sadness knifes through me.

She would be good with our children. Why does she refuse me?

I want to ask her, I want to know what is going through her beautiful, brave head, but I am afraid.

For once in my life, I am cowardly.

Because I do not want to hear that she finds me unsuitable, or that she is disgusted by my scales or the idea of mating a Suevan. I do not want to hear that she wants to leave me here and head back to the people who sold her like livestock to us.

So I sit next to her, dig through the bag, and offer her the choicest berries in silence.

“Good morning,” she says, her eyes finally cutting to me.

“Is it?” I ask, furrowing my brow. “Are you well, then?”

“Oh.” She takes a bite of her meat and chews slowly. The zoleh’s eyes grow wide, and Ni-Kee smiles at it before giving it a piece of meat, too. “It’s a saying. It’s a greeting on Earth, I mean. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you are good.”

I frown. “So you are not well? Is your fever returned?”

“No.” She grins up at me, and I start to smile back at her, loving the way she looks when she is pleased, but stop, my heart hurting all over again. “I am fine. It just doesn’t necessarily mean that.”

“Human language and customs are strange.”

She laughs, raising one eyebrow. “You’re not wrong.”

“So I am right?”

“Not necessarily.” One shoulder lifts as she shrugs.

“Your words do not always match your thoughts and intentions,” I say without thinking.

The smile and openness on her face shutters, and she takes another bite.

I should not have said that. I scrub a hand over my face. Now she likely thinks I am attacking her choice last night, or that I am angry with her. I am doing neither, but talking to this woman is like navigating a minefield. She sees intention where there is none, or she misinterprets my words and questions.

I wonder if all the Suevans are encountering such problems with their new brides.

“I do not mean to judge,” I say quietly, helping myself to some of the berries. “It is only different from Suevan language. It is why we consider our language sacred and communicate in binary with other species.”

“Suevans can’t lie?”

“No, we can. But it is considered a gross misstep and dishonorable.”

“So you think humans are without honor?” Her eyebrows are raised, her tone prickly. The zoleh looks between us, as though sensing the shift in our mood, and runs off into the darker recesses of the cave.

“No, my sweet Ni-Kee, that is not what I meant.” I shake my head, frustration growing. First she does not want to accept my seed, does not want to accept me fully as hers, after telling me she is mine, and now she seeks to misread my words again.

I stand abruptly, unable to continue the conversation. “I brought you more can-dee berries, because I know you enjoy them. My Ni-Kee, I want you to be happy. I long for your smiles the way I long for water on a day without rain. I do not think you are happy now, and I think it is because of me. I am going to find some fresh meat and food to bring back. I hope you rest while I am gone. I am leaving you the crossbow in case you have need to defend yourself, but you should be safe here. I will return shortly.”

I chance a glance at her. Her expression is as thunderous as the sky after lightning, but she does not respond. Swiftly, I take a different pack, throwing it over one shoulder.

My legs take me back out of the cave before she thinks of something to say that will hurt us both.

OceanofPDF.com

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

OceanofPDF.com

NIKI

I’m mad. It’s stupid, and probably childish, but I’m so damn angry right now, and not even at Draz.

How could I be mad at him?

He hasn’t done anything wrong. I mean, yes, he did marry me without my consent, but he didn’t know I didn’t understand. And last night, he listened when I asked him not to… I swallow hard, pressing the palms of my hands against my eyes. When I asked him not to impregnate me, he stopped.

He’s been an incredible partner so far. I literally could not ask for anyone better to have been paired up with in this violent, alien jungle, than Draz. He’s a brutal and efficient killer, and yet, he’s charming and kind with me, his gentleness so at odds with the vids we’d seen of him butchering his way across the battlefield.

And the sex was out of this world. Literally.

I snort, then pop a handful of berries into my mouth. They’re not sour gummies, but they are pretty fucking delicious. The fact that Draz went out of his way to get them for me, that he knows I love candy and wants me to have what I love… It makes them taste all the sweeter.

I hate that he’s right, too.

I hate that humans are deceptive, that everything about this situation was manufactured because the Earth Federation lied to the Suevans and lied to me and my crew to get what they want.

I don’t hate him, though.

I hate the Federation for what they’ve done to me. They tossed me and my career away like trash, like my only worth is in my ability to reproduce. It’s so fucking archaic, and yet humans seem to think we’re the only worthwhile species.

I stand up, unable to sit with my feelings any longer, and begin to pace.

The Federation doesn’t want me; they don’t expect me to come back. In fact, if I did, they’d probably consider that to be treason, considering they need us to smooth diplomatic relations. Not to mention, if word got out on Earth that they essentially sold me and my crew to the Suevans, the Federation would likely start gunning for us in retaliation. Our word against theirs, and we can say goodbye to any chance of a happy ending on Earth.

I pace, ending up at the shore of the deep, placid pool that spans the center of the cave. My reflection stares back at me, her face lined with worry.

Returning to Earth is out of the question.

There are other planets, other settlements.

I look over my shoulder, to the cave entrance where Draz disappeared out of only minutes ago, swallowed by the riot of green jungle. I like Draz.

Part of me wants to believe that he likes me, too, and not just for the fact that I can reproduce with his species. A frisson of heat goes through me at the memory of last night, at the incredible way our bodies fit together, of how he was more concerned with my pleasure than his, at the way he wanted me.