“And what if I don’t wish to repair my suppressor? Tell me, what will you do?” I stare at him straight on as I say it. As a youngling, we learned that every failure in battle can reveal a truth, a weakness, a detail for the strategic mind to capitalize on. Today I will capitalize on a morbid little fact. Everything I was before, everything I worked for, everything I built has been for nothing. There is nothing stopping me from walking away from it all for a single selfish motivation— to have Ella all to myself. There is no more Kar’Kali people except for us. And there will be no one to enforce exile on me now.

Surprise lights his eyes. When it fades, he looks disturbed. Disturbed by me, and the person I have become in a matter of days.

“Kila, we will make this right. You don’t know what you are saying now. I will see that you are returned to the true Kar’Kali way, and you will thank me for it. We cannot lose one more warrior. Not after losing everything.”

I feel very alone in this moment. I say nothing. Nothing I say will change Pakka’s mind, and in turn Pakka knows nothing he says will change mine. Back to strategy. I will wait until there is a new moment to capitalize on.

OceanofPDF.com

Chapter 17

ELLA

On Monday morning, I stop into Jen’s office.

“Hey,” I say softly. “Please tell me you went home and got some rest yesterday.”

“I did, thanks for asking,” she mutters as she leafs through a fat folder.

“That’s good.” Then, I stand there, waiting for her to be done with whatever she’s so intent on reading. After a couple minutes, she finally raises her head to blink at me.

“Well, what do you want?” she asks.

“Ummm….” I look around the room, as if the glass walls and shutters will clear up my confusion. “Do you have something for me to work on today? Should I ask Hassan if he needs help?”

She squeezes the bridge of her nose between her finger and thumb. “Did that gray dick give you amnesia? Go to your lab!”

I sputter. “They’re working? Jen! Their entire race is dead! Doesn’t that merit a little vacation time?”

She closes the folder she’d been reviewing and lets out a heavy sigh. “They insisted. I asked them if they needed to decompress for a while and Pakka looked at me like I grew an extra head.”

I leave her be and make my way to the lab. If only I’d known that the Kar’Kali would be here today, I’d have come up with something to bring them. But then again, what kind of token or baked good could ever be appropriate for a time like this? The news cycle since Saturday evening has been non-stop discussion of the Kar’Kali genocide and its implications for the ongoing war in Sector 5. The only silver lining has been that the protesters outside the facility have dwindled, due to an outpouring of sympathy for the Kar’Kali and by association, support for the Alliance government in their fight against the Azza as well.

My pulse is leaping at the thought of seeing Kila. I long to see him, to talk to him, and ask how he is doing. Everything happened too fast when I dropped him off, and there was no way of getting in touch with him after the fact. The Kar’Kali were immediately swept away for a meeting with Alliance reps. I wanted to drag him away and be the one who would hold him through all the pain he was undoubtedly feeling. But maybe that’s not what he needs. That’s the human way.

I try my best to bite down my emotions before I push against the steel door and enter the lab. They are all gathered at the lab bench, quietly discussing something over a large sheet of paper.

When I see them all sat in line like this, the change in Kila is clearer than ever. His four companions are a silvery blue-gray, pale in the face, expressions hard like stone. Their eyes dart to my entrance and they nod politely or say hello quietly. Kila on the other hand, turns to me and his whole body goes rigid with attention. His black eyes widen just slightly, and a pained yet hopeful expression breaks across his features. He’s alive with healthy color beneath his stone skin. At least, it looks a healthy flush to my human eyes. Maybe the Kar’Kali don’t feel this way, because the others are eye-ing Kila like an escaped mental patient.

“Ella,” he breathes out. “You look well.”

Unsure how to act in front of his team, I move to his side and touch his hand gently. “Hi, Kila. How are you?” I glance at the others. “I don’t know what to say, guys. What can I do? How can I be there for you?”

“You are here,” Kiva points out obliviously.

“There is nothing to say,” Mori announces. “This is war. We continue until it is ended.”

I can tell by the way they do not look at one another that emotions are running high, no matter how much the Kar’Kali wish to ignore that fact. Kila takes the hand I’ve rested on him and squeezes it.

“Okay,” I say. “Then what do you need? Should I give you some space? Or do you have plans today?”

Pakka stands up and clears his throat. “Firstly, I should update you on our protocol. We are arriving early and leaving late to avoid encountering any female employees. We would ask that you procure our meals and drinks during work hours so that there is no chance of enacting a mating call in the hallways. Kila may assist you, seeing as he is… taken.”

“No problem,” I say, blushing at the hungry eyes Kila has for me upon the mention of his mated status.

“Secondly,” Pakka continues, “Our new project goal will be either repairing or replacing the suppressor chips, not only for ourselves but on behalf of any surviving Kar’Kali citizens that the Alliance is able to contact. Unfortunately, our quarantine will not make it easy for us to conduct any feasible research on Earth mating.”

I nod, trying to ignore the twisting in my stomach. If they fix the chips, then the Kila I know will be gone forever. Any chance we had at being something real? Toast. But you already knew that, I remind myself.

“Finally…” He hesitates with a flicker of his eyes toward Kila. “I will not allow Kila to leave this facility again. His actions have indicated to me that he is entirely too unpredictable in this mental state to be roaming the streets.”

My mouth drops open. For a moment, I think about giving him a piece of my mind. But then… Pakka is in charge here. I am on the clock. This is not my decision to make.

“I… I understand,” I say slowly.

“Perfect,” Pakka bobs his head, satisfied. “Let’s get started.”

As the morning inches along, Kila does not conceal his woeful stares in my direction. No one told me that I wasn’t allowed to talk to him, but our assigned tasks are strategically as far from one another as a person can get inside the laboratory. I’ve been asked to start price checking a list of equipment they will need to design their own chips, so I sit at my desk in the far-right corner. Kila is on the monitor that hooks up with the Alliance-wide research database, trying to determine if copies of the Kar’Kali schematics are available on the network. The station he needs is in a glass-walled high-security pod that is diagonally the most opposite end of the room. He glances up at me every once in a while, looking like a lost puppy.

I can’t fathom how much he’s hurting. I am so angry at his teammates on his behalf, it saps my focus. By the time I’ve completed a spreadsheet with some proper information, Kila has left the database research behind.

I print the info for Pakka and turn to join the rest of the team where they have gathered in front of their microwave (as I like to call it). As I cross the floor, they open the door and Kila gets inside.

“What’s this about?” I ask. Kila is wearing a disgruntled expression, and he resembles a child being forced into time out.