“Pakka,” she shouts, and he jolts to attention. “I agree Kila might benefit from a day off tomorrow, and he shouldn’t leave the complex. But Ella is correct— don’t go treating him like a prisoner. It’s not going to help matters. Tomorrow you should scan the rest of your team, including yourself, and I’ll send Hassan when I have an opening at the comm center for you to contact a Kar’Kali base.” Pakka is nodding at her like an obedient puppy.

“And Ella? Pakka makes the final decision when it comes to the welfare of his teammates, okay? Just do what you can to help the others tomorrow. We reconvene on this topic come Monday. Dismissed.”

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Chapter 8

Kila

The world is strange. It is objectively clear that I am in a dangerous situation, brought on by potentially grave circumstances. And yet, I feel like I am floating above it all, simply because I know that Ella feels the same as I do. I should be panicking, but instead I feel nothing but warmth in my heart when I think of how shy she looked when she said, “Of course I find you attractive. Of course I feel something.”

When I smile, Mori looks at me like I am a warrior returned from the ashes. “Kila, I worry for you,” he says.

Mori, Kiva, and Vala walked me back to our living quarters, all the while watching me like I was a mountain feline poised to strike them. Soon after my encounter with Ella in the hallway, the truth of the matter came out. The scan system had been completed and Pakka immediately sent me inside to get a read on my hormones. The results? I am at abnormal levels, dangerously abnormal. Now we sit in the living area, and heavy silence fills the air. My colleagues eye me warily. We are waiting for Pakka to return with a plan.

“Oh, this is terrible, just terrible,” Kiva cries out, breaking our quietude. “Great Ka, we should have all been scanned. What if I’m next? What if this polluted Earth atmosphere has tampered with all of our chips?”

Vala slaps him on the back. “Kiva, be still. Panic does not solve problems. We will discuss it when Pakka is here.”

We return to sitting in silence until Pakka returns. Kiva is fidgeting, Mori stares at the ceiling in misery, and Vala is his usual self— completely at ease.

“Tomorrow, we will all be tested,” our leader announces upon entering. “Kila, you must stay here and relax. It would be best if you meditate and try to stay in control of your emotions. Jen said she will make arrangements for us to contact the planet base as soon as possible.”

“There,” Vala says to Kiva. “You see, there is a plan.”

“Stay here?” I demand. “And do what? No, I must be there when you contact home. Won’t they want to speak with me?”

“They will understand why we have decided to take precautions,” Pakka says.

I clench my fist, knowing it isn’t wise to mention how I still wish to see Ella, even just for a moment. “I am of no use to anyone here. At least lock me in the lab so I might make some contribution—”

“Kila, that is enough. This decision is final. I do not trust your actions in this state, I hardly know who I speak with. You are on lockdown until further notice.” Once he has delivered these orders, he sucks in a deep breath and retreats to his own room.

The rest of the evening is tense. We do not speak very much, but I fear none of them trust me anymore. I may as well be an Azza spy to them. Sadly, I cannot even trust myself. My mind is filled with Ella— the feel of her body against mine, her kind way of speaking, the soft dark waves of her hair. Once I have eaten, I head to my own room and lay flat back on the bed.

Meditation is the best course of action, so I reach for my tap-pad and set it up on the bedside table with a white noise loop. The breathing exercises come to me easily, from passings and passings of practice. When I complete one exercise, I start up again, slowing my mind and clearing my thoughts until they are nothing. My body finally gives up and allows me sleep.

And then I dream of her.

She is naked. Since I have never seen her without clothes, her nakedness is rather blurry but the feeling is there. The excitement of having her against me, skin on skin, is palpable. Her face is flushed, and she lets out one of those ringing little laughs of hers. She says my name— “Kila,” she sighs. “Yes, oh yes, Kila…”

Then I am seeing the video we showed her, of the human couple fucking like wild animals. Except it is me there, stripped down to nothing and humping the female. And it is Ella that has her face pressed against the floor, while I slam my cock into her from behind. She cries out, saying my name over and over again.

When I wake up, my cock is hard and I am on my stomach, grinding my hips into the blanket beneath me. As soon as I am aware of what I am doing, I jolt upright and roll right off the bed frame. I reach down to touch between my legs, utterly alarmed. Sure enough, my cock is engorged and aching with a sweet pain I have never felt before. I stare at the clock. It is almost noon and the rest of the team has left me here as promised.

I rub against my pants, trying to relieve the pressure, but that pressure only seems to build. Do I ignore it? Or must I do something about it? My imagined version of Ella dances in the back of my mind, still fresh from my recent dreams.

I am already being treated like Deviant, am I not? I push down my pants and grip my cock as I think of her face. What would she look like if I had her undressed before me? I rest my head back on the ground and recall the shape of her in that black dress she wore. Then I mentally push the fabric up slowly. Perhaps she would laugh a little bit? That seems right… She likes to smile and laugh…

I begin working my hand over my cock, pressing harder until it feels right, bucking my hips into my own grip and imagining I am between her thighs. I groan as a rewarding feeling starts up. A feeling like I am get closer to something very good. My motions become more furious and my mind becomes even more depraved. What must it feel like to be inside her? This causes me to shudder and fist my cock even harder until my pleasure peaks for an indescribable, extended moment of sheer ecstasy. Seed shoots from the tip of my cock and coats both myself and the floor.

Panting, I just lay there for a little while. Great Ka, I feel I’ve crossed a strange barrier from which there is no return.

When I eventually come to some sense, I curse aloud and search for something to clean myself off. All the while, my sick mind is ticking away, plotting. I must see her. I must talk with her. I must make a plan to get to her.

When I pull myself together and dress, my own reflection is a startling sight. My skin has taken on a rosy undertone. I stumble to my small box of toiletries and retrieve a sewing needle. I stab my arm and sure enough, I bleed red rather than blue. I want to laugh or cry, or maybe just lay down and rub my cock again like a lunatic. It seems the Kali’Ka has chosen a mate for me like a Great House warrior from Archaic Kar’Kal. Ella Sacco will be mine, or I will surely lose what little sense I have left. I must see her, and all other factors are of little consequence to me.

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Chapter 9

Ella

On Friday, the atmosphere in the lab is tense. Kila is gone, and the others wear grim expressions. Thankfully, they don’t seem to blame me at all, but rather speak of Kila as though he has lost his mind completely or even as if he’s dead. Their first order of the day is to test themselves in their weird giant microwave box.