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– I don’t even know what to think: you give me completely different information from her. Whom am I supposed to believe?

– You are supposed to believe yourself and Holy Father. You should believe yourself, because you know how to do things right. You should believe the Holy Father because he helps you in your deeds.

– So I should not believe people at all?

– How can you believe people if they say one thing, do another, dream of something else, and then blame everyone that things are not working out for them!! They blame everyone but themselves. How can you believe them?

– That’s’ right. How do you know all this, Max?

– Everyone knows that, it is just that people don’t want to admit their mistakes.

– Every person has a right to do a mistake. Am I right? What do you think?

– There is no right! Who have us this right? Look: a person is taking an action even thought he knows that it is not a correct thing to do. So, he does a wrong thing and then gets scared, that other people will notice. When he is pointed to that, he will just say: “Everyone has a right to do a mistake!” Am I right, dad?

– Yes, son. I agree with you completely! Please tell me, how do you see and understand events? Even I can’t explain them like you: simply and straightforwardly. It sounds very wise, so I don’t even know what to think now.

– Don’t think of it too much. You just need to be opened and to talk of things as they really are, not as you want to see them. See, you were thinking in a wrong way too and were looking for the right answer somewhere. You need to look for an answer within yourself.

– How? I don’t seem to understand you very well. Please be more specific.

– See, we’ll go home now. I will be staying home, or sleeping, or reading, or listening to music, or watching TV – it does not really matter what I’ll be doing. Mom will be home too, right? She’ll want to talk to me, but I’ll always be busy in my room with the door closed. This is what actually irritates her: the person is close to her from one hand, but very far away from the other. You know, I always need to be active and I can’t stand meaningless conversations. Mom wants to communicate and I don’t. It frustrates her. This is when she loses control…

– How can it happen like this?

– It happens like this, dad. The next thing she will do, she will open the doors to my room and tell me not to close them. At the same time, she’ll turn on the TV volume very loud. I’ll tell her that I want to sleep and it is hard to do even with the closed door. She knows it very well, but she’ll still say: «Don’t even thing of closing doors». However, I’ll close them anyway. So, when you get home she tells you that I am not listening.

– There should be some other ways to solve the situation!

– How? What would you do in the same situation? Explain me, please.

– Well, why is she telling me totally different information: that you don’t do homework, don’t help her around the house, and answer her in a rude way?

– What else can she tell you? Do you want to take a look at how much I studied? I am almost done with school program. I did everything I was asked by mom. Despite the headache or the fact that I did not feel like doing it, I still complied. I understand the meaning of the word “have to”, and it does not matter to me weather I want it or not.

– You got me confused, son.

– I am trying to explain you the situation. However, you don’t want to see the reality. You are looking for reasons within a relationship and not within a person. It’s wrong.

– How can you know what I think?

– It comes from your words: “Please, don’t upset mom.”

– So what conclusions can you make from those words?

Maxim could not understand weather his father was upset or surprised.

– I can see everything I told you about.

– All right, I’ll think about it. Go home and take a rest. Do you need my assistance to enter the house?

– No, I don’t. Will you come over in the evening to play chess?

– I will.

Max ran a bell and the mother opened the door.

– You are home already? That was fast! Change your clothing and proceed to the kitchen, I will heat the meal for you in the meanwhile. What did the doctor say?

– He said I should start learning how to walk.

– What do you mean by learning?

– My muscles became disaccustomed from walking, so I need to learn again.

After finishing lunch, Max said:

– Thank you, it was delicious. I am tired and want to get some sleep.

– Ok, please don’t close your doors.

– All right.

Max locked his doors, enjoying the comfort and privacy of his room. He did not fight his tiredness. There was no need for that. He just fell asleep.

XVII

Svetlana left her apartment at seven am. After getting a good night sleep and growing stronger during the school vacation, she felt herself quite good. The coldness of the early morning did not surprise her; she actually enjoyed the refreshing tingling of the frost. The surrounding appeared beautiful, wintry dreamlike, and it was making Svetlana happy. At that moment she felt herself absolutely healthy, free, and exuberant. Deciding to walk to school to enjoy a first February morning, she turned around the corner and found herself on the empty space again. She remembered plangent fall and the grass, which was flapping like the ocean waves a few months ago. The picture had changed since then, and the empty space reminded a glacial desert with banks of snow. February windstorm was playing with the snow, either creating snow-drifts or raising snowflakes in the sky like tornado. Svetlana adored winter from the childhood – it was the most mysterious time of the year for her. Almost everyone loves frost, New Year, holiday atmosphere and snow. At this time of the year people make wishes and discuss New Year celebration. Most important events happen in the winter that means that the winter is the most important season. It comes to bring people cleanliness and chastity, and to take away all unnecessary issues, to make wishes come true. When it leaves, people are waiting for it!

Svetlana was walking down the trial as before, but she was a different person. When she crossed the open space, she started to think about school and concentrate on her past classes, meetings, tests. Svetlana missed her students, so she tried to walk slower to enjoy the indescribable feeling of enjoyment. She could not even find a comparison to that new, unexperienced feeling. When she had that heavenly mood it seemed as thought she walked above the ground…

Svetlana saw her school and her heart started to beat so fast, that it became difficult to walk. She stood on the school porch to calm down. Then she opened the door and entered the school.

– Hello Valentina Ivanovna! – She hugged the aged receptionist. – You can’t imagine how glad I am to see you!

– Thank you for your care and attention, Svetlana. How is your health?

– Oh! It is getting better and better, Valentina Ivanovna! Tell me the latest school news, please!

– Everything is the same. The kids will arrive soon; it is almost the time for the first class.

– Do we have any new teachers?

– Not for now. Who knows, may be we will soon.

– All right, Valentina Ivanovna, I better go and prepare for the class. I’ll talk to you later.

– Yes dear. God bless you.

– Thank you. I’ll see you soon.

Svetlana was walking slowly down the empty school corridors, remembering the years of her teaching experience. When she entered her class, she was not surprised that the door knob was missing. “Hmm could be worse”, – thought Svetlana. She looked around the empty class and smiled. Then she touched the desk with her figure and was not surprised again to see tons of dust. She soaked the piece of cloth in water and started to wipe off desks and chairs, trying to remember where her students were sitting. She did not like that the floor was dirty too. However, the cleaner assisted her out and cleaned the floor, while she washed the blackboard. Svetlana was busy with making her class a neat place, and only the school bell made her leave the cleaning tools and open the class doors. Students were entering the class, they greeted her and organized study places. Svetlana really enjoyed teaching children, sharing knowledge with them. She tried to prepare them for the future life and help them to form personalities. Svetlana felt that school was her second life. She could not live without it; school life absorbed her totally. When she was there, it felt as thought she appeared in another world, like the diver at the sea bottom or like the cosmonaut in space. It was a really unforgettable feeling.

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