She smiles sadly, her eyes glassy with unshed tears. “I had to say goodbye even if you’ll be back in two weeks.”

I reach my hand out for her, but she doesn’t take it. I don’t know if it’s because she’s afraid she’ll never let me go or if she’s just so fragile right now that any closeness will break her. She’s always been careful not to shatter when I need her to be strong, but now I wish she weren’t.

My eyelids grow heavy as I watch her in the fading firelight.

“You’re going to be fine, and I will see you in a few weeks.”

“What if I’m not?” I ask, blinking up at her.

She smiles softly. “My heart.”

I close my eyes, searching for the steadiness the words bring. “My bones.”

“Our blood.” Our whispers are barely audible.

With my sister’s fingers stroking my hair, I let the exhaustion of the day sweep me into the dark.

OceanofPDF.com

13HARLOW

The shadow of the North Hold guard towers loom over me as I study the elaborate reinforced locking system on the gates. It’s a marvel of engineering, but I haven’t the faintest idea how it works because I’ve never been this close to the gates when they open.

A few yards away, several large geldings stir restlessly as Henry quietly converses with his parents. They brought a remarkably small contingent of guards to the city. I’d expect more security for the leaders of their household. I’m not certain of the scope of a blessing from Asher, the Divine of Endings. Maybe they don’t need a horde of guards. That thought sends a chill up my spine.

I wonder absently how the defenses of Mountain Haven are holding up with them here. How do they keep their wall secure without holy fire? In Lunameade, it’s such a rare magic, gifted by Vardek, the Divine of Protection. My father and Able are the only ones who can wield such magic. But I suppose it’s possible that there is someone similarly blessed hidden somewhere in Mountain Haven.

I try to ignore the fact that somewhere inside the tall walls of the manor behind us, Aidia is probably watching from some high window, taking shallow breaths so as not to hurt her bruised ribs.

I turn and wave, but I know if I lay eyes on her right now, with her staying in her cage and me flying free, I will lose my nerve.

I take three deep breaths in and out to settle the twisting, raw feeling of leaving her. It feels like failing, like surrendering to my parents once again. I can’t shake the sense that I’m letting down the women of the city who count on the Poison Vixen. How can I escape when so many others are trapped?

But if I don’t go, I can’t return with the answers. And if I can’t assess this threat for my parents, I can’t get access to the tunnel.

Fear settles in my bones. When the task was distant, it felt entirely doable, but for the first time, it hits me that I might never return. In trying to find the leverage to save my sister, I might doom her to be trapped here alone forever.

Aidia has always felt stitched to me. I always assumed it would be a sharp rending that separated us, but this is more like a slow, brutal tear. I feel the distance grow by the second, and I haven’t even passed through the gates to the outside world.

The morning is cold, a sharp wind whipping over the wall. I focus on its breath-stealing chill to steady myself.

Henry approaches slowly, perhaps sensing my nervousness, or just waiting for me to turn into a wilting mess. He’s wearing a heavy fur-lined coat and well-worn riding boots, his hair neatly combed back. Much to my annoyance, he looks handsome, like some mythic dark god who drags maidens into the forest.

Though I’ve never been one for devotion, I tilt my chin up, praying to the Divine that everything I’m feeling isn’t written all over my face.

Henry’s gaze lingers behind me. “No parents?”

“We said our farewells last night.”

There’s a hint of disapproval in his frown.

“Careful, Henry. Pity is one step removed from tolerance,” I taunt.

His lips twitch. “Tolerating my wife. Sounds terrible.” Footsteps crunch behind me, and Henry purses his lips. “Seems you’re not forgotten after all. Your brother’s here to see you off.”

I turn in time to see Kellan smile tightly and nod at Henry in the way men do to casually dismiss each other. Henry takes the hint and walks back to his horse by the gate.

Kellan guides me off to the side. “Have everything you need?” he asks.

He means my dagger.

I pat my thigh. “Never leave home without it.”

“Right.” Kellan’s voice is soft. His gaze drifts up to the North Hold mansion, and I know he’s thinking of Aidia, locked away in there like some sort of rare bird. He’s thinking of losing another sister to a brutal man.

“Be careful,” he whispers.

“I’ll be back in a few weeks, Kel. Hug Libby and the kids for me.”

He sighs and shakes his head. “Kate is beside herself that she won’t get to be in Aunt Harlow’s wedding. But I told her that you would tell her about it in detail when you return. Considering their customs, I’ll ask you not to.”

I bite back a laugh, so relieved he has the wherewithal to joke when I feel like crying.

Kellan pulls me into a tight hug. “Low, listen,” he whispers. “Our father didn’t want to tell you this because he thought you would back out, but I can’t let you go out there without all of the information.”

“What information?” I whisper, trying to keep my expression neutral.

Henry is watching from about twenty yards away. He fumbles with a saddlebag, but he doesn’t bother to hide that he’s paying close attention.

Kellan leans closer. “There is a chance that they think our father was responsible.”

“For what?”

“For the Drained attack that nearly annihilated them ten years ago.”

I jerk away from Kellan. “What do you mean? We don’t command the Drained.”

Kellan shakes his head, his eyes darting to Henry and back to me. “Focus, Harlow. I just needed you to know that this is dangerous. I don’t know why they’ve shown up after all this time, after all our searching. But I can’t rule out the possibility that they have a score to settle and that they want to use you to do it.”

“Why didn’t you say so before? Why wait until now?” I turn my back to Henry and run a hand over my face to try to master my frustration. I’m so tired of secrets and compartmentalized family knowledge. I am about to walk into a den of vipers and my parents couldn’t bother to tell me.

“It wasn’t something you needed to know until now,” Kellan says. This is how he operates, in secrets—in only sharing what someone needs to know in the moment and hoarding the rest to himself. It’s how he’s kept the city in line all these years.

“How could they blame us for what the Drained do?” I ask after a long pause.

Kellan rubs the back of his neck. “Because our father had a choice to make and a responsibility to our people.”

I frown. “Are you saying that there’s merit to their suspicion?”

Kellan looks to where Henry is fastening the saddlebag to his gelding.

“Mountain Haven was full of our people, too,” I say.

“I know that!” he whispers. “But if that horde came to our gates, they could have torn through the city, getting stronger and stronger as they went. Sometimes you have to sacrifice the few to save the many.”

I am trying so hard to stay calm, but I can barely keep my voice to a whisper. “There were thousands of people at Mountain Haven.”

“There are tens of thousands more here,” he says.

I stare at him. “Surely you’re not okay with that. You knew many of those people.”

He nods to Henry. “Not him, though.”

He’s right, but the way he talks about it like it’s a math equation and not human lives lost irks me.

“So, just to be clear. Ten years ago, our father somehow directed a horde of Drained away from our gates and toward Mountain Haven. For ten years, we believed that horde annihilated them, only to be surprised when they suddenly reemerged seeking a wife for their heir. And now you’re sending me, your sister, who has already married once to protect this family, with a stranger who thinks I killed his sister, in the hopes I can find out what exactly they want?” My tone is calm, my face placid, but inside my heart is frenzied, slamming against my ribs.