Ex. 14 A STREET IN LONDON
We're in Oxford Circus, half-way along Oxford Street, one of the busiest
streets in the West End of London, and that street over there is Regent Street,
famous all over the world for its splendid shops. Near one of the street corners
you can see the entrance to the subway leading to the Underground Railway, or
"Tube" as we call it.
On both sides of the street there are shops, banks and restaurants. In the
roadway there's a constant stream of cars, taxis, buses and lorries. In some parts
of London there are trolley-buses and trams as well. The noise is deafening, but
one soon gets used to it. The pavements are crowded with people, and it's
dangerous to attempt to cross the road until the traffic is stopped, either by a
policeman on point duty or by the red traffic lights. In any case, before crossing
the road, take care to look to your right, and when you reach the middle of the
road, look to your left.
At night, the streets are lit by electricity, or in some districts, by gas. You can
see the lamp-posts and standards on the pavements, and on the "islands" in the
middle of the road. The main streets are flooded with light from the brilliant
shop-windows and the illuminated signs and advertisements, so that after dark
everything looks as bright as in broad daylight.
Ex. 15
THE BULLET-PROOF JACKET
A man once called on a general, and showed him a jacket which he had
invented for soldiers, and which, he said, was bullet-proof.
"Oh!" said the general. "Put it on!"
Then he rang the bell, and said to the servant: "Tell the captain to load his
gun and come here.'*'
The inventor of the bullet-proof jacket disappeared, and the general never
saw him again.
W o m a n : Good morning!
S a l e s m a n : Good morning, madam. Can I help you? W.: Yes, you can. I'd
like to buy a watch, please. S.: Certainly, madam. Is it for yourself? W.: Oh no.
It's for my small daughter. S.: I see. You don't want a very expensive one, I
suppose. W.: No. Fairly cheap, and fairly strong, too. S.: Oh, I understand. Will
you have a look at this one, madam?
W.: I think that looks too small. I'd rather have a bigger one.
S.: What about this, madam?
W.: That looks fine. How much is it?
S.: Let me see. That's five pounds ten.
W.: Oh dear. I'm afraid that's too much.
S.: Here's one that's a little cheaper.
W.: How much is that?
S.: Four pounds fifteen.
W.: Yes, I'll take that one.
S.: Can we send it for you, madam?
W.: No, thank you. I'll take it with me. Four pounds fifteen. S.: Thank you,
madam. Good morning. W.: Good-bye.
Ex. 12
THE DUMB BEGGAR
A beggar made up his mind that he would pretend to be dumb. He arrived at a
town where he had begged before. In one of the streets a gentleman who had
given him money, and so remembered his face, met him and spoke to him.
The beggar did not say a word. "Hello!" cried the gentleman, "how long have
you been dumb?" "Ever since I was a baby," answered the beggar.
Ex. 29 AT THE THEATRE
"Have you got any seats for tomorrow?" "Matinee or evening performance?"
"Matinee, please. I want two stalls, if you've got them." "Yes, you can have — er
— two in the middle of Row F." "They'll do very well, thank you. How much is
that?" "They're thirteen and six (13/6) each — that makes twenty-seven
shillings."
"Stalls, sir? Stalls on the right. Gentlemen's cloakroom this way; ladies'
cloakroom on the first landing."
"Show your tickets to the attendant inside the theatre; she'll show you to your
seats and let you have a programme."
"May I see your tickets, please? Row F, 12 and 13 ... This way, please. Would
you like a programme?" "Yes, please."
"Shall I bring you some drink, sir? The play isn't over till half-past five."
"When do you serve tea?"
"After the second act; there's an interval of fifteen minutes." "Then I think we
might as well have some."
"Well, what did you think of the play?"
"I enjoyed every minute of it. What did you think of it?"
"I thought it was splendid. I haven't laughed so much for a long time."
"Neither have I. It was extremely good."
"Yes, wasn't it? I thought the acting was excellent."
"So did I. The whole thing was first-rate from beginning to end."
THE BELL-BOY
A traveller was standing at the desk in the lobby of a Washington hotel. He
was in a hurry. He had only ten minutes to pay his bill and reach the station.
Suddenly he remembered that he had forgotten something.
He called the bell-boy and said: "Run up to Room 48 and see whether I left a
box on the table. Be quick, I am in a hurry."
The boy ran up the stairs. Five minutes passed, and the gentleman was
walking up and down impatiently.
At last the boy came back.
"Yes, sir," he said, "yes« sir- Уои l^ft it there. It's on the table."
Sec t ion Th irteen
Ex. 9
THE TAILOR AND THE DRESSMAKER
This morning I've been to my tailor's to order a new suit: coat, waistcoat and
trousers. I should have liked to order a new overcoat as well as my old one is
nearly worn out, but just now I can't afford it. I shall have to wait till next year
for that. But I might get a raincoat later on. My tailor always has an excellent
stock of materials to choose from, and I think I've chosen what'll be the most
suitable for my purpose. I've had my measurements taken and I'm going again in
a fortnight's time for the first fitting. After I've tried the suit on, the tailor will
probably find it necessary to make a few alterations, and he'll mark the places for
pockets, buttons and buttonholes. Then he'll ask me to return later on for a final
fitting just to make sure that the suit fits really well. When the suit's ready, I shall
pay for it and get a receipt. My wife has also been buying some new clothes this
week. She's bought herself a ready-made suit, that's to say, a coat and skirt. She's
been trying to find a silk blouse to match, so far without success. But when she
went to the milliner's, she did succeed in getting just the right hat, in the very
latest fashion, or so she says. It would seem that the one she bought three weeks
ago is already out of date.
An English tourist found himself in Norway with only-enough money in his
pocket to pay his passage back. As he knew that it would take him only two days
to get to England, he decided that he could easily do without food. So he went on
board the steamer and bought a ticket.
He closed his ears to the sound of the lunch bell. When dinner time came he
refused the invitation to accompany a fellow-traveller to the saloon, saying that
he didn't feel well.
The next morning he didn't go to breakfast and at lunch time he again stayed
in his cabin. At dinner time he was so hungry that he could not stand it any
longer.
"I'm going to eat," he said, "even if they throw me overboard afterwards."
At dinner he ate everything the steward put in front of hi^n and felt ready for
the coming row.
"Bring me the bill," he said to the steward. "The bill,
sir?" said the man. "Yes," answered the traveller.
