A primal part of me liked the claim Rokath had laid on me. The logical part of me knew I should never speak to him again because of it. My feelings were confusing, and these long rides weren’t doing anything to help me sort them out. Especially because my mind kept drifting back to the world shattering moment he entered me.

Zeec groaned and rolled over on his back, exposing his belly. Unable to resist his charm, I rubbed both hands along it. “You’re such a good boy,” I cooed, and his tail thumped against the wood in a staccato rhythm.

At least I had the dogs and Rapp to keep me company and distract me from my thoughts some of the time. As if I had summoned the male, he peeked his head around the barrel. “Do you want to ride in here the rest of the day today?”

“Is that an option?” I asked. I was still trying to show Rokath that he could trust me enough to let me out of his sight for more than an hour or so at a time. He had to let his guard down in order for me to run. Though with the landscape around us, surviving after would be difficult.

Especially as I scanned the northern horizon and found two skeletal remains of what appeared to have been cattle. Maybe now was the best time, while I still had a chance to retreat into the mountains where I could find water and shelter.

Rapp shrugged. “Do you want permission or forgiveness?”

I smothered a smile. Kiira had shared the same sentiment with me when I defied Rokath and went to that party with her. Rapp and Kiira, I had learned from both of them, were close friends, and I understood why with the similarities they shared.

“I’d rather not have him scream at me in front of the entire army,” I sighed, feigning defeat.

Rapp laughed. “Fair enough. Halálhívó,” he shouted over his shoulder. I felt my mate approach, and my heart pounded erratically against my ribcage.

“What?” he growled.

“Why don’t you let Assyria ride with Grem and Zeec for the rest of the day out of the sun. I’ll ride beside the cart with Blaeze,” Rapp offered.

Ugh, there goes my chance of slipping away unnoticed.

A grumble echoed into the wagon. “Fine,” Rokath acquiesced. “Her weight offsets the amount of water we drank anyway.”

I crawled around the barrel and hissed, “I’m so glad you pay attention to my weight.”

Rokath raised one dark eyebrow, scrunching the fang that stretched onto his temple. “Your figure has crossed my mind once or twice.”

Rapp barked a laugh, startling the dogs and sending them scrambling to their feet. Then, he clapped Rokath on the shoulder and gave him a playful shove. “Alright, Halálhívó, better get the troops moving again before this devolves into you two fucking in the wagon.”

“I would never–” I started.

At the same time Rokath groused, “She wishes I would–”

A scoff slipped out before I could stop it. “You should be grateful I said that we should couple and relax the bond.”

Not like it helped now with the way it tried to shove us together again.

“I knew it,” Rapp laughed again, this time dragging an infuriated Rokath away. But Rapp’s intervention didn’t stop him from entering my mind to have the last word.

“If I hear you planning to escape one more time, I will shove my cock so far up your ass you won’t be able to walk or ride for a month. And I will thoroughly enjoy every second of it.”

OceanofPDF.com

40

The desert cooled quickly as the sun dipped, and a shiver swept through me as I hopped down from the wagon and landed on the sand. It was denser than I anticipated, a mixture of hard packed dirt and fine grains that blustered around me as I walked toward the camp with Grem and Zeec on either side of me. A breeze gusted through the flat plains, and I squinted against the dust that blew into my eyes.

Rokath stomped toward me, sweat still beading his forehead. “This way,” he growled, jerking his hand toward the set of black tents I’d come to call home.

“Oh are you actually going to spend some time with me tonight?” I quipped as he led me there. “The soldiers are starting to talk about us, you know.”

He halted, and I nearly bumped into him. The way he towered over me should have been intimidating, but I was more annoyed with him than anything. This damn bond itched for me to be near him, begged me to have him inside me again, to touch him, to do anything but keep space between us. Between that and the heat, I was in no mood for his horseshit.

“And what are they saying?” he groused, pinching the bridge of his nose before wiping away a line of sweat.

“That they never hear us coupling. That they don’t believe I’m only here to be your fallen,” I said, crossing my arms and glaring up at him. The scarf fell back, pooling around my neck.

Rokath closed his eyes, and in my mind, I heard him counting to ten. “I will manage expectations,” he finally said, eyes snapping open.

I scoffed and walked past him. This was all a fucking joke.

The bond flared with pain as I left him behind, and then it eased as he jogged to catch up with me.

“This isn’t going to work once we reach the battlefield,” he grumbled, rubbing his chest. I resisted the urge to do the same, soothing the ache left from being unwanted by Rokath and unloved by anyone. Everyone who loved me was dead, and every death was his fault.

“Should have left me behind then,” I snapped.

His answering snort brimmed with derision. “Like that would have been any better. I’d have gotten this far and had to return for you with the way this damn bond likes to manipulate me.”

Sweat slicked down my backside, the leather not as breathable as I had hoped. Stupidly, I’d opted for the long-sleeved one today. While it was the best option to save my skin from the sun, it was the worst for the heat.

Another breeze blasted us, but it didn’t cool my anger nearly enough. Nails digging into palms, I continued my march to my prison. Rokath strode silently beside me, and when we reached his tent, I burst inside without looking back. To my surprise, he followed me in.

“Don’t you have to go to your officer meeting?” I grumbled, wishing he’d fuck off. I began unfastening the ties on the side of the leather, wanting, needing to breathe. It was all too much—the heat, the traveling, him.

“Assyria,” he growled. “Look at me.”

I ignored the hint of pity threaded in his tone and jerked the leather backward and off my shoulders. It landed on the bed with a thump, leaving only the bind around my breasts and the matching pants covering my legs.

A moment later, my skin burned where Rokath grabbed me. I closed my eyes, refusing to look at him as he spun me to face him. Tears pricked them as every confusing emotion barrelled through me.

He doesn’t want me.

No one wants me.

No one loves me.

I am alone.

“Fuck,” he cursed, then released me like I was a snake who’d struck out and sank its fangs into him.

One tear fell. Then another. “Just go,” I whispered, still not opening my eyes.

Rokath shifted on his feet, crunching the canvas, and then a heavy sigh slipped out of him. “Wander the camp as much as you’d like tonight, but return for dinner with Rapp.” His voice was as soft as I’d ever heard it, and if I didn’t know any better, I’d say an undercurrent of guilt was there.

I nodded, and then his footsteps struck the earth, rattling it with all the hatred stretched between us. Only when the tremors no longer shook my legs did I open my eyes again. Grem and Zeec both watched me, and Zeec loosed a low whine. “Come here,” I told him, crouching down. He did, wagging his tail and licking the salty tears off my face.

That pulled a watery laugh from me, and I motioned for Grem to join us on the ground. The two went belly up, and I offered them more caresses, appreciating their thorough distraction. “Are you hungry?” I asked, and they both flipped over immediately, eyes lighting up.