That flutter came to my core once more, drifting not on the words of a god, but a man humbled. Was this truly Enosh? Or was I still dreaming?

I pushed myself up once more, assessing the sway of his dark brows, the curvature of his lips, the straight nose. Still as annoyingly handsome, that bastard, yet something had changed.

What was it? His eyes?

Yes.

Not so much their gray color, but how the foreboding storm at the depth of his irises had somehow settled. What remained was a gaping cleft of emotions for me to stare at.

And he let me.

Enosh neither turned his head nor distracted from it with a twitch of his upper lip or the smug lift of a brow. I stared right into the face of my god husband, seeing the finest wrinkles at the corner of his eyes, the faintest blemishes of his complexion… and the pain of loss that so closely resembled mine.

He, too, had lost a child.

Twice.

At least in his heart.

Enosh reached his hand up, swiping a finger over my brow where it must have gone into disarray pressed against his chest. “What does my wife see?”

“You.” Beautiful and terrifying, gentle and cruel. “I’m sorry you had to find out about Njala and the baby like this. I know you loved her.”

“So I’d thought but…” His face scrunched up for a moment, and his gaze wandered into the room as though visiting old memories. “None of it compares to how I feel about you. Which makes me wonder if it was not so much her I loved, but the idea she resembled of children, family, life. In the end, this arrogant jerk could not inspire her love. Maybe gods ought not to be loved, but only hated, worshipped, and feared.”

That brought a little tug to the corners of my mouth. “Or maybe you simply couldn’t claim her heart because it had already belonged to another.”

That returned his gaze to the here and now, which he set straight on me with uncoy intensity. “When you first arrived at my court, did your heart belong to another?”

“No.”

“Good.” He pushed himself up to sit and pulled me right along with him, leaning us against the wall of bone. “There’s something I wish to show you, but we ought to dress you first to keep you warm.”

“Dress.” That word sent a shudder over me. “What happened to Orlaigh?”

“Not much… for now.” He slipped out of bed and took my hand, pulling me to my feet as breeches formed around him. “I could either see to her punishment or watch after my wife, and I chose the latter.”

“That must’ve cost you a great deal of self-control.”

“Not at all,” he said. “I wasted two centuries on hate and anger and will give the past my attention no longer beyond the necessary. Certain things ought to be taken care of… but after, I wish to live in peace.”

“What will you do to her?”

That question gave him a moment’s hesitation as he stared down at me. “What do you wish me to do?”

Braid her into your throne.

The words choked up onto my tongue out of nowhere, their taste bitter and unfamiliar, so I gulped them down. Did Orlaigh deserve to be punished? Yes. But she’d been betrayed by a loved one she’d tried to protect. How should that affect the severity?

“Punishment is your area, not mine. And now that we are speaking of corpses, Lord Tarnem was the one who helped shed light on all this in exchange for my promise.”

“Promising what?”

“Um…” I thought for a second. “That I would shed light on this.”

“And so you have, remaining as true to your vows as always.”

“I guess that’s one way of looking at it.” My eyes fell to my belly and to the three lines where my wounds had been, each one now shaped into pale-puckered vines with flowers blooming beneath its foliage. “You gave me scars.”

“I like your scars, your imperfections, written across your body like a story that tells me fragments of your mortal life. However…” Inhaling deeply, he took my hands in his, looking at me with solemn eyes. “One word from you, and I shall make them go away as though it never happened. The choice is yours.”

My choice.

Such strange words.

My throat turned parched beyond its usual state. Did I want them gone? The wounds had caused me so much grief, yes, but the scars may serve as a sobering reminder of the world out there… the unfairness, the depravity.

“But it did happen.” And if I stepped outside right now? It would surely happen again. “No, I want them to remind me.”

No sooner had I spoken, did Enosh let a dress of brown pelts shape around me, heavy and lined on the inside. A black jacket was still forming around him as he took my hand in his, guiding me toward a set of stairs that hadn’t been there before.

I followed beside him up the alabaster steps, letting my other hand trail over the smoothed bone of the banister toward a set of looming doors. “Where are we going?”

“I took the liberty of making you this while you rested.” At his next step, the doors opened for him to lead me through. “A wedding gift I very much hope you will accept, for the last one ended in torture and death.”

“A wedding—”

My words caught in my throat.

Devil be damned, my husband had been busy.

OceanofPDF.com

Chapter 16

OceanofPDF.com

Ada

Rendered speechless, I gaped at the atrium stretched out before me. Four slender columns formed the corners of the square, each adorned with grooved shafts. Flowers decorated the top of each, shaping outward like heavy leaves after rain.

At the center sat another pavilion, right beside what resembled a willow. Its bony-white branches wept down, carrying elongated foliage in shades of brown ranging from fawn, over to copper, to ebony. But it wasn’t what took my breath away.

No, it was the birds.

My eyes lifted to the red-cheeked robins that flapped their wings, soaring toward the blue ceiling before they dove downward. Their cuck-cuck-cucks drifted on the gentle current as the birds settled on the branches of the willow or the translucent pavilion roof.

I crossed a patch of pale grass—its blades shaped from the sheerest skin—while what had to be beetle hulls formed colorful flowers here and there. “You brought the outside to the Pale Court.”

“So you may see your birds and trees—as you requested all that time ago—no matter how death shackles your bone to my kingdom.” He stepped up behind me, letting his palms brush along my arm before he pointed up, bringing my attention to the ceiling once more. “Behold, your sky. The children painted it for you before they shaped the leaves of the willow. Do you like it?”

“It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” I ran my finger over the criss-crossed ridges of the tree’s white bark beside us. “You truly want that forgiveness, don’t you?”

“Among other things… he rasped against the back of my ear, letting his warm hand settle on my throat, pulling me back slightly against his whisper. “You shall answer me this question, little one. Have you ever found any inklings of affection for me? Before I wrecked it all?”

I tilted my head back and let it settle against his shoulder, relishing the controlled possessiveness of how his thumb stroked the side of my throat. He’d once told me that love knew no precaution, turning us into fools for liars and monsters.

I was no liar.

Was Enosh a monster?

At his worst, he could be. And perhaps falling for such a man was wicked and corrupted—but so were the mortals out there. I’d suffered their cruelties, their judgment, their violence. The world was full of monsters.

But this one was mine.

“Yes, I was growing feelings for you.” For this god whose love hurt as much as it healed. “Of all the bastards, devils, and monsters in this world, you are the one I chose.”