But she’s still my family, and knowing that something has happened to her has made me frantic.

I find the wreckage of a child’s bed in one corner of the room, the pale blankets covered in mud and footprints. I pick up one corner, and as I do, I see rusty-colored splatters on it. Hastily, I drop it again and back away. The air in Erynne’s room doesn’t feel like enough. I can’t breathe. Frantic, I race to the window and stare out at the view. Erynne always had one of the best views in the castle, with the sea crashing onto the cliffs below. Now there’s nothing to see but more wreckage and the broken hull of a ship on the rocks.

There’s nothing left of my kingdom. Not even a single solitary soul. Nothing but broken bits and torn-apart remnants.

In this moment, I feel as destroyed as the ship that bobs in the harbor down below, the one with the hole in the hull so big that I can see it from up here.

“There’s a body in the hall,” Nemeth tells me, and I hear the rustle of his wings as he approaches. “It’s old, but it’s unpleasant. I covered it with one of the window hangings.”

“Woman or man?” I ask tightly. If someone’s murdered my sister and left her here to rot, so help me…

“A soldier,” Nemeth says, his voice soothing. He moves behind me and puts his hands on my shoulders. “If you are asking if it is your sister, no. My brother is many things but he would not murder a woman in cold blood.”

“Not even if she was the enemy’s queen?”

“Not even then.” He rubs my arm. “Are you…all right?”

It seems a ridiculous question. Am I all right? Of course I’m not all right. I’m very, very far from all right. But I understand what he’s asking. He’s inquiring because this place has been our goal for so long, the answer to all of our problems, and it’s empty and abandoned, just like the rest of my land. “I don’t understand why no one is here,” I say softly. I want to yell and scream. I want to rage at him and every other Fellian that did this to my people, but the truth is that Lios started the war. We’re just as much to blame. If the kingdom was destroyed because we lost the war, that’s on Lionel.

So I can’t be angry with Nemeth. I cover his hand with mine, and then I’m clutching his fingers tightly, as if he’s a lifeline. “I don’t know what to do,” I admit. I’m tired. I’m cold. I’m hungry. I’m out of medicine. None of those things will be changing anytime soon, because Lios is destroyed. There’s no one to help us. No one to feed us.

We’ve left the tower for nothing. We’ve cursed the world because we didn’t want to starve…but it turns out the world has been destroyed anyhow.

He enfolds me in his arms from behind, wrapping me in his solid, supportive presence. I want to scream and rage at him, too, but…I still love him. He’s on my side, and I need to remember that, no matter what I’m feeling right now. “We’ll travel to my people instead,” Nemeth says. “To Darkfell.”

Painful laughter bubbles up out of my chest. “The last place I want to go right now is Darkfell.”

“Do you have a better idea?” he asks quietly.

I don’t. I don’t know what to do at all. “Will they kill me when I arrive? I’m one of Ravendor’s descendants.”

“They will not,” says Nemeth firmly. “Because first and foremost, you are my mate. You carry my bite.” His hand slides to my stomach. “You carry my child. They will not touch you.”

I’m not so sure. But we don’t have many other choices. “How long will it take to reach Darkfell?”

He doesn’t answer. His grip tightens around me, and I suddenly realize the answer. Too long. Too long, and I don’t have any medicine left.

“We’ll stay here tonight,” he tells me. “Look for survivors and supplies. Find a decent room to sleep in. And we’ll take it from there.”

“You should go without me⁠—”

“Never,” he says, sharp. “I’m not leaving you.”

“But you can fly,” I point out. “I cannot. I only slow you down, and without my potion, I’m as good as dead anyhow.”

“I’m not leaving you,” Nemeth says again, and his voice is calm. Steady.

It would be better for him if he did, but I’m still foolishly glad. I turn in his arms and hug him, burying my face against his chest.

My kingdom is gone. My sister is gone. And here we’re deciding to head straight for those that destroyed them.

It feels like a never-ending nightmare.

Chapter

Sixty-Nine

We make the royal library our temporary camp. While it’s been ransacked just like every other room in the palace, the ceiling is whole, the books undamaged by the endless rain. Nemeth makes a fire in the large stone fireplace at the far end of the vast hall, and I spread out our blankets and clothes to dry them.

Wearing nothing but my least-damp chemise, I curl up in the blankets by the fire and watch Nemeth as he picks up book after book. I can tell he’s fascinated with them, turning the pages with near-reverence and a hand so delicate that you’d think he’s touching my cunt instead of one of the many dusty books here. “There’s so much knowledge here.”

Normally I’d roll my eyes at someone fawning over books, but this is my Nemeth. I know how much he loves reading. For some reason, seeing him caress the pages of the book makes me happy. It makes me feel like things are a little more normal. That my world isn’t ending. “Well, since I’m officially the last one in the palace, I declare this entire library to be yours.”

He glances up at me and grins broadly. “I’m not sure you can do that.”

“I can.” I wave a hand at him. “Take as many as you like.”

He sighs and replaces the book on the shelf he took it from. Then, he hesitates and pulls down another. “I wish we could, actually.”

“Why can’t we?” I roll onto my stomach on the bedding and prop my chin up on my hands, watching him.

“Because we can’t waste the time.” Reluctantly, Nemeth abandons his newest book and gives me a sober look. “There’s not enough food or medicine⁠—”

“Don’t give me that line again,” I warn him. “We both know that. But if these books are important to you, they’re important to me, too. Why not take them with us?”

“Candra, are you listening? There’s no medicine and no time to waste⁠—”

“And there still won’t be if we leave the books behind. It’s not going to magically appear.” I shake my head. “Let’s face it, love. We’re doomed with the books or without them. Take the damned books. Maybe something of Lios will remain after all of us are gone.” After all we’ve been through, the grief is hitting me. With it comes acceptance.

I’m not getting out of this alive. We chose poorly, and now we’re being punished by an endless amount of rain from the goddess and the destruction of my people. Really, it’s only right that I die for my selfishness, but I would prefer not to. I would also prefer that Nemeth return to his people, safe. He’s spent his entire life preparing for the tower—he deserves to have something of his own now that his service is done.

As far as I’m concerned, we can take all the damned books.

Nemeth shakes his head. He moves to my side, angry and determined. “You are worth a thousand books.”

I chuckle, because of course I am. I’m amazing. “I know that. You know that. But the books do not expire if they do not get their potion on time. I will.” My hands slide to my stomach, and I sigh wistfully. “I just hate that…”

I can’t say the words aloud. That with my death, I’m taking our child with me. Strangely enough, I hate that thought more than I hate that of my own death. To think that a child is something I never even anticipated, that I never even cared to have. And now that I find myself pregnant, I’m furious that I won’t get to see it born.