The look he sends my way is utterly dazed and I think yes, yes it does.

My scholar is clearly not a great thinker once his cock is drained. I find this adorable.

Chapter

Thirty-Four

Since we’ve nothing but time in the tower, I decide that today is a special day.

Nemeth takes care of me regularly, so today I shall take care of him. I make a midday meal…poorly. And since we have no supplies to spare, we have to eat it. Somehow, though, it doesn’t bother us. Nemeth is touched that I try, and teases that I should actually look at Riza’s book of recipes next time instead of just guessing.

I sing him a birthday song (again, badly) and work on mending the hem of his favorite cloak while he reads his favorite book aloud to me. I offer to make him dinner that night, but Nemeth prefers to cook it himself. I do the washing up instead, and Nemeth tends to his mushroom farm that grows on the strange board. He’s had to move it to the storage rooms since they prefer darkness and I need the lights.

All in all, it’s a lovely sort of day. Nothing outside of the usual (other than my morning greeting to him), but pleasant anyhow.

Before bed, I present him with a cake of my favorite soap, scented with lavender. “If you ask nicely, I might even offer to wash you,” I tease, earning myself a wing flutter and a smile.

We get ready for bed and Nemeth taps the globes, one by one, turning off the lights and leaving the room in darkness. He climbs into bed next to me, and I hold my breath. Now, I wonder, will he touch me? Kiss me?

By all the gods, I would love for him to haul me against him and kiss the sense out of me.

Nothing happens, though, and I worry for a moment that he’s not interested. That I’ve misjudged somehow and the more I chase, the less he wants me. That I’m only a convenient mouth and nothing more, and that any man would have responded to the way I woke him up.

For a moment, I panic.

Then I remember the knife, and all the times it told me he was touching himself to thoughts of me. He does like me. I haven’t been imagining it. Something’s holding him back, though. Shyness? Maybe that’s what it is. Maybe he’s shy…or waiting for dawn so he can wake me up in a similar fashion.

I squeeze my thighs together at the thought. Oh, it is going to be so incredibly hard to sleep tonight if that’s the case.

“Thank you,” Nemeth says, voice soft in the darkness. “For today.”

“You’re welcome.” I mean it, too. I’ve enjoyed making him feel special. I can tell he’s not used to anyone doting on him, and I’m not used to doting on anyone myself, but I think we both had a lot of fun today. “It’s probably terrible to say this, but I’m glad you’re here with me. I don’t think I would have lasted this long without you, and the thought of spending the next seven years here with you at my side isn’t so bad.”

“Six,” he corrects. “It’s almost six now.”

“Almost six isn’t six, though. I’ll celebrate when we get our next round of food.” I smile into the inky black of the room, hugging the blanket to my chest. He hasn’t pulled me against him yet, which means he’s either not ready to sleep…or he’s hard. I find I’m not ready to sleep yet, either, so I turn on my side and face him.

The bed creaks and the mattress shifts, and then his green, glowing eyes blink to life in the darkness, telling me that he’s facing me, too.

I bite my lip, wondering if he’ll kiss me now. Ever since I touched him this morning, he’s been quiet. At first I thought it was simply that he was blown away by my generosity (and by having his cock sucked for the first time in his life) but what if he’s unhappy? What if that’s why he’s silent? “Are you all right?” I ask, unable to hold it in any longer. “You’ve been a little silent all day and I worry I’ve upset you now that I have leverage over you again.”

I keep my words teasing, but I feel vulnerable. If he’s offended in some way or wants me to stop touching him, I’ll definitely be hurt. Back at court, if someone bothered me, I could avoid them. Here in the tower…he’s all that I have for company. There’ll be no coming back from this if I’ve made him uncomfortable.

Nemeth chuckles, but the sound is awkward. “It’s not you. Please don’t think that.”

“Kinda can’t help but think that.”

“I know.” He sighs and reaches out and rubs my arm, his big hand warm through my sleep-gown. “Today just made me realize a few things, and my thoughts went to strange places.”

“What sorts of things did you realize?” I press, because I’m nosy and needy and I want him to tell me how much he liked my mouth on his cock.

His thumb rubs small circles onto my shoulder. “That I have mocked you for hating Fellians and finding them strange, and yet my thoughts have been polluted with the same sorts of things. It occurred to me that if I told anyone that a beautiful human princess woke me up with her mouth on my cock, they would think I was insane for allowing such intimacy…that I am deviant for allowing a human to touch me. And more deviant of all, that I liked it.”

“So you did like it,” I clarify. “You didn’t feel I sullied your honor or something like that?”

Nemeth snorts. “If you had, I would have asked you to sully my honor at every chance. No one has ever done something like that for me…and nothing has ever felt so good. I think that is why it made my thoughts spin to what my people would think.”

I move a little closer to him in the bed, because worry about what our people think? I totally understand that. “My sister wouldn’t understand,” I confess. “She’d think I’m a tramp for touching you. She’d be horrified, and her husband the king would probably toss me out of court. Send me to a convent where I could pray on my ‘lustful and wanton ways.’”

“And yet you still did it.”

I smile at those glowing eyes. “We’re the only ones here. The rest of the world abandoned us. Why should we care what they think?”

His eyes narrow in the darkness, as if his face is creasing into a smile. “You have an excellent perspective on things.”

“I’ve always been the useless princess. Maybe knowing that I’m unimportant except for my family name helps me not care. After all, I can be a whore and someone will still find me valuable because I’m a Vestalin.” I sound bitter, even to myself. “But I’m here for the next seven years because it’s better for the rest of the world, right? We’re martyrs so the fields can be full of crops and the Golden Moon Goddess will hold back her rage. We’re giving seven years of our lives up for everyone else. I think, given that, they’re not allowed to judge us for finding comfort in one another.”

His thumb strokes a teasing circle on my shoulder. “Is that all it is to you, then? Comfort?”

“Well, I don’t know,” I say, trying to keep my tone light. “What is it to you?”

“More.”

Just that one simple word fills me with soft, radiant joy, as if I’ve swallowed a star. One word, and I’m so…happy. “It’s more to me, too,” I whisper. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.” His hand slides off my shoulder and he takes my hand in his, squeezing it. “Ask anything.”

“Do your people kiss? Because I’ve been thinking about kissing you and you’ve never even tried to kiss me. So I wondered if you even kiss with those fangs of yours. If I’m being too nosy or forward, feel free to tell me so. It’s just…I was thinking about it.” By the Gray God’s night robe, now I feel like an absolute fool. I’m a princess. Why am I begging a man to kiss me?

Because it’s Nemeth, my mind tells me. He’s different.

He is, and that frightens me a little. If things sour between us—and they always sour with me and my lovers—there’ll be nowhere to hide.

“I’ve never kissed anyone,” he confesses. “And it’s not something my people do, no. We rub horns…but I have seen the humans at the Citadel kiss. Do you want me to kiss you?”