Impossible. Also, the wedding night is gonna be fun.

….should i be concerned

Oh, pretty girl. You should always be concerned. For your legs.

OH MY GOD

Say your vows. Kiss me at the altar. Then prepare for at least three days where you won’t be able to sit comfortably.

omfg stop i am going to walk down the aisle to you with THIS in my brain

As you should.

i hate you so much

No, you don’t.

NO I DON’T I LOVE YOU YOU CRAZY STALKER

There she is. My perfect, pretty girl. Now go say “I do.” I’ll be waiting.

oh btw I forgot to tell you i hired clowns for the reception

surprise!

You fucking WHAT

yep! a whole troupe! they're going to make balloon animals and everything

You wouldn't.

they even have a special performance planned just for the groom

Isabella Russo, if I see a single red nose at our reception, I'm carrying you out over my shoulder.

god you're so easy to mess with

…

don't worry, no clowns. i want you focused on me, not having a panic attack in the bathroom

You're lucky I love you.

See you at the altar, Callahan

Wouldn’t miss it for the world.

Chat Ended.

EPILOGUE

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Laura Bishop writes books about obsessive men, clever women, and the dangerously thin line between love and psychological warfare. She lives in sunny Florida, where the skies are blue, the humidity is high, and her search history is a federal red flag.

Love Me Stalk Me is her debut into the world of dark romantic comedy, where every red flag is just another reason to fall harder.