“Seems like a good time to ask.”

“Aye, I can.” His voice is terse, and I suspect this is just now occurring to him, too. “There are charms we can use but…I don’t have any on hand. It usually falls to the woman to handle such things.”

“When was I supposed to get a charm?” I ask him. “Before I came to Vastwarren and everyone would wonder who Lady Aspeth was fucking? Or after I got here, in between drills?”

Hawk grunts. “Excellent point. I’ll get you one.”

But that changes things. We were intending to head back to the dorm and have sex tonight. We’re both ready, and we both want it. Except…“If we’re going to have sex, shouldn’t you get one before we do?”

He runs a hand down his face. “I’ll get one first thing in the morning.”

“So you and I…tomorrow, then?”

“Aye, tomorrow.” He squeezes my hand. “We still have time before the Conquest Moon.”

“How much time, exactly?”

He rubs the back of his neck with his other hand, expression awkward. “The morning?”

Oh goodness. Not much time at all. “And it has to be before then?”

He nods. “So I can be gentle. I don’t trust myself once the hand of the god is fully upon me. Not with it being your first time and all.”

I chew on my lip as we walk back to the guild dormitory in silence. I should be thinking about the Conquest Moon but instead, I find myself thinking about what happens afterward. I haven’t allowed myself to think that far ahead, yet now I can’t seem to stop. What does the future look like if I take the rings and head back to my family’s hold?

What does the future look like if I stay Hawk’s wife?

I’ve never really allowed myself to dream about what happens next. It’s always been assumed that I would marry to keep the family bloodline going, and that it would be to someone who brings either wealth or artifacts to reinforce our claim upon Honori Hold. My parents were an arranged marriage, and their parents before them. I’ve never contemplated what I’d do if I wasn’t tied to the hold and its obligation to its people.

But if I could…

I’d love to stay. Join the guild. Hunt for artifacts. More than that, I’d love to simply research and study the ones that the guild has. Immerse myself in the Old Prellian culture that I love as much as everyone else in the guild. Go cave diving at my husband’s side.

Come home to him every night and curl up in his arms and talk about nothing more urgent than the day’s findings (or lack thereof).

I suddenly want that so badly I ache. My eyes burn with unshed tears and I blink rapidly, holding tightly to Hawk’s hand.

This is what happens when I allow myself to dream, so I won’t think about it at all. It hurts too much.

We’re quiet as we walk back to the guild dorm, both of us lost in thought. I keep my hand tucked in his, though, because I’m afraid of letting go. I think about Hawk’s words, about how this is no longer convenient, no longer transactional, and he’s right. I’m feeling entirely too much and I’m terrified of what this could mean.

As we head up the sloping street toward Magpie’s nest, I see a light shining in the window. I check the front of my bodice again, immediately feeling as if I’m back in the alley with one breast hanging out. “Someone stayed up late.”

“Never a good sign.” Hawk gives my hand a squeeze and then releases it. “Let me talk to whoever it is. Keep quiet and stay behind me.”

As a holder’s daughter, I’ve never stayed quiet, much less hid behind a man. My back stiffens. “It’s probably Gwenna.”

“Or your ex finding out you’ve married and come to cause trouble.”

My mouth snaps shut. He might be right. I tuck my cloak tight around my dress and let him take the lead.

Inside the dorm hall, there are two men seated on the bench, both in guild livery. One jumps up the moment we step through the doorway.

“The guild needs all Taurians in the city to report to the Everbelow,” the first one says. “There’s been a terrible accident.”

THIRTY-FIVE ASPETH

“There’s no accident,” Magpie announces after Hawk sets off with the guild messengers. She’s got five packed bags on the table in front of her, weapons laid out. “Or there was, but it was by design. Had to say something to get him to head out.”

“What are you talking about?” I ask, distinctly aware of the wetness between my thighs. I want to go into our quarters and clean up and change, but Magpie and the others seem determined to talk right now. “What’s the accident? Who was hurt?”

“No one should be hurt,” Lark explains, casting a frustrated look toward her aunt. “We just knew that Hawk wasn’t going to leave your side for a regular retrieval. So we talked to the right people and they staged a cave-in at a tunnel far away from Drop Thirteen.”

“But no one was hurt,” I emphasize. “Right?”

Lark looks over at Magpie.

Magpie shrugs.

I’m appalled. “So not only did we collapse a tunnel that might have precious artifacts and historical findings, but there might have been someone in there?”

“Do you want to do this or not?” Magpie demands. “Because if you want to wait for Hawk to come back and try to explain that you’re stealing from the guild to save your own neck, be my guest. I’m sure he’ll understand.”

She says it in a way that makes it very clear that Hawk would not, in fact, understand.

My heart sinks.

Gwenna moves to my side. “We talked this over with Magpie’s contact,” she says, voice soothing and even as she pats my shoulder. “The tunnel we collapsed is a training tunnel, and no one’s utilizing it at the moment because they’re all in the regular tunnels.”

“And Magpie’s friend planted a team flag in the rubble so it’ll look like someone was there, which means Hawk will be busy trying to dig them out, but it’ll be discovered later that it was a clerical error and oops, no one was ever actually down there.” Mereden offers me a wavering smile.

“It’s a good plan,” Magpie says, voice brusque. “Don’t weasel out on me now.”

I can’t believe this is the grand plan. Collapse a tunnel? Sneak away in the dark while Hawk is off saving people? Things feel as if they’re spinning out of control rapidly. “I thought we were supposed to get a counterfeit pass. Pretend like everything had been approved.”

“My contact suggested this instead. Do you want to go down or not?” Magpie’s impatience is evident. “The sooner we head into the Everbelow, the sooner we get back before Hawk suspects anything. He doesn’t have to know about stolen rings or anything we find. In fact, it’s best you don’t tell him at all. The moment he knows you’re a thief, he’s going to turn you in to the guild and then we’ll all be stripped of any rank and kicked out the door.” She gestures at me. “And then your father still won’t have anything to protect his hold.”

“Right. Of course.” The old anxiety returns, a tight ball of dread in my stomach. I’m out of choices. “It’s just that the timing is rotten. I can’t go. Tomorrow is the Conquest Moon.”

Magpie shakes her head. “It’s not a problem. We’ll be back before dawn.”

“How is that possible?” I think of the hours we walked last time just to get to our level. We know the area the ring will be in, but that doesn’t mean we’ll find it right away. There are no absolutes. “The timing—”