I think that I've already lost my hope.
June 13th, 2024
Call me whatever you want
song
[Verse 1]
You can call me whatever you want.
You can use the most terrible word.
Won't take offense or shout anything worse.
This is an opinion, that's neither true nor false.
[Verse 2]
He can call me whoever he wants.
He can break me, my heart and my bones.
Won't cry outta pain or do anything worse.
This is an opinion, that's neither true nor false.
[Verse 3]
She can call me whatever she wants.
Can spread gossip at the speed of gunshots.
I won't deny or hate her or her words
This is an opinion and who said it was false?
[Verse 4]
They can call me whoever they want.
They can break me, my friends or my hope.
I won't be furious or take bloody revenge.
This is an opinion, neither malice nor rage.
[Verse 5]
I can call them whatever I want.
I can use the most terrible word,
I can break them, their bones and their minds.
But they'll say it's not an opinion, that's crime.
[Post-chorus]
It's not an opinion, that's crime.
It's not an opinion, that's crime.
That's crime.
August 15th, 2023
Drama
song
[Verse 1]
He said that my acting skills
Were at their best.
He said that he'd make my dreams
Come true without any tests.
I knew this affair was dangerous,
But I gave it a shot.
I calculated a lot of various
Escape routes and codes.
[Chorus]
You showed me another world.
I gave you my dishonest word.
An unfaithful wife and her faithful lover.
What a typical plot of a painful drama.
You showed me another world.
Scarlet blood on a white snow.
Betrayal, money, fame and karma.
What a typical plot of a painful drama.
[Verse 2]
You said I wasn't even close
To pretty and gifted Megan Fox.
But who knows, who really knows,
The films are quite similar (that's gross).
Here I am, here the snow,
But only one damn killer.
But everything you asked for
Is heating and painkillers.
[Chorus]
You showed me another world.
I gave you my dishonest word.
An unfaithful wife and her faithful lover.
What a typical plot of a painful drama.
You showed me another world.
A world of murder and money, so
I began to fight for real, I wanna
Admit that I'm a bad actress for this drama.
[Bridge]
You know, I'm not a goddamn poet.
But some things cannot be avoided
Like ugly wrinkles on the forehead,
Like differences between you and your old portrait.
I left you alone in the hut on the peak,
But otherwise, you would have left me.
This story will remain in the video vault
Because I have my own world.
And even though I'm now just an aging actress.
And you're a failed director, nameless and aimless.
We're not right for each other, I'm sorry, but
I thank you, because now I know what's right.
[Chorus]
You showed me another world,
I saw some things I haven't learned.
I'm the revenant of my story,
You're cut out of credits, I'm so sorry.
You showed me another world
And now I'm back and I'm bold
To say that this film is over.
And I'm its sole copyright holder.
The drama's over.
And it will pay off.
June of 2024
Love & Loathe
song
[Verse 1]
This summer began with my desire,
With the hope and joy of mine.
I gave it my all,
But the world is sold.
Fought with people, fought with demons,
Fought against their mad opinions.
Handled it well,
But it was hell.
[Chorus]
God, I didn't let you down.
I've created something magical,
Beautiful and kept my vow.
God, it wasn't that radical.
It defenceless and tender,
It blooms quickly and seldom.
[Verse 2]
The summer ends with morbid crying,
I feel down, but I'm still trying
To be here.
My pain, my dream.
Eternal memory to this art,
A part of it lives in my heart.
Are you still here?
Can you say clear?
[Chorus]
God, they ruined me to the ground.
I swear, I tried, I fought,
But I couldn't make a sound.
God, the world has been bought.
And so they love and loathe.
But I'll be there with my dreams and hope.
[Post-chorus]
So they love me, but they loathe.
Yes, they do, yes, they do it both.
With my dreams and my hope
The world has been, the world has been bought.
So they love me, but they loathe.
I swear, I tried, I tired, but I, but I fought.
So forgive me, please, my Lord.
Once I was innocent, the art of mine is loathed.
August of 2023
How can it be?
song
[Chorus]
How can it be real?
Blue skies, but a blue feeling.
Blue birds, but blue days.
A deep blue sea, but a deadly blue face.
[Verse 1]
In the morning you see the sunlight.
It's so warm, so happy and bright.
In the evening you see the moonlight.
But after that comes the dreary black night.
[Chorus]
How can it be right?
You live, but then you die.
You're blessed, but then you're doomed.
You win, and then you fail and lose.
[Verse 2]
When you are born, you see the world bright.
It is filled with your mother's pure love.
When you die, you see the world dark.
It is cold, empty, cruel and vile.
[Chorus]
How can it be me?
I am not happy to live.
I dream of peace in my life.
But I'm destroying my world to the ground.
[Interlude]
[Verse 3]
In the reflection of the waters
You can see the sky above us.
In the glass of high-rise buildings,
You can see it dead and twisted.
[Chorus]
How can it just be?
If I cannot be free,
If freedom doesn't come with death,
Then I don't need to pray for help.
[Interlude]
[Verse 4]
A lot of colours in your life.
Mornings, nights, the endless sky.
And the lessons you have learned.
Blue sea, blue days, blue eyes, blue world.
[Chorus]
How can it be real?
Mmmmmmm.
How can it be right?
Lalalala
[Post-chorus]
