But for now, there was no darkness. For now, everything was mostly alright. Suvi was mostly well and I was mostly myself and therefore I was halfway content to sit over here at the wall, unwanted as the Callabarra guards at the other door, and let her bathe in peace. Like this, I could see nothing of her but her head above the tub’s ledge, and for now it was enough.

Sort of.

Not entirely, but...

Blast. Who was I fooling? It was not enough. It was never enough, not even when my hands were on her body and my snout pressed directly to her skin. Being away from her made pressure build against my chest until it felt like I – a male who could control water with a mere stroke of his mind’s will! – was drowning. But she did not want me near her now, did not want me to see her or touch her the way my sanity’s survival seemed so hinged upon doing, and because she did not want it I did not do it.

And what could that be if not some sort of progress?

What could that be if not something to be congratulated, something to be lauded as proof of my own worthiness?

But I did not congratulate myself.

Instead, I watched Suvi with the eye I had left and began to finger-comb my hair.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Suvi

It was obvious I wasn’t going to lose the dragon dude anytime soon. I’d just have to deal with having him glued to my side like some kind of massive, muscled barnacle for now. I honestly wasn’t sure if he was my captor or some sort of bodyguard/nurse combo now, but either way, he wasn’t moving and I would just have to suck it up and accept it for the time being.

At least, from the angle and distance of where he sat now, he probably couldn’t see much of me besides my head. Unless he had some kind of alien X-ray vision, which for all I knew, he probably did.

He didn’t appear to be making an attempt to stare right through the stone of the tub, so that had to be a good sign, at least. His eye never left my face, watching with stern attention while he used his claws and thick fingers to slowly untangle his hair.

I turned off the tap, bath now full. Well, not exactly full, since it was built for someone much larger than me. But full enough that I was submerged up to my shoulders. Keeping the alien firmly in my sights, though doing my best not to make it obvious I watched him, I undid the sodden knot of the sheet and let it peel away from my skin to sink to the bottom of the tub.

There wasn’t anything that looked like soap or shampoo around, and I soon gave up on that, the simple act of swivelling my head around on my shoulders feeling like a monumental task. Instead, I just leaned on the side of the tub again, pressing my cheek to the edge, marvelling at the tiny pleasure of the cool stone against my face contrasting with the warm water caressing my shaky body.

I watched the alien, no longer bothering to be subtle about it (that was too much work), and he watched me back in the un-subtle way he’d done the entire time. It was jarring seeing him dressed in those long white robes, so strange seeing him methodically comb his hair, grunting with annoyance whenever he hit a snag the way a human might. He’d been so incensed, so feral when he’d first found me. Even after that, he hadn’t seemed to care at all about things like his nakedness in our time together. Obviously, he had language and intelligence and immense power – I knew that even before – but now...

Well, he still wasn’t human. One look at his face confirmed that. But his face wasn’t exactly just reptilian, either. He had a snout, yes, but it wasn’t long and thin and jutting far out from his face the way a crocodile’s did. It was shorter, more blunt, angling upward into cheekbones and eyes and a brow that, despite the scales, actually felt quite reminiscent of a human’s. The sclera of his eye was black, though it was nearly invisible, most of the eye taken up with a gold iris that blazed so bright it was practically flame-white in the centre.

Not human. Not lizard. Not dragon...

Alien. It was the only word for him.

Even as he braided his detangled hair into one long plait exactly the way a human might. He tore a strip off the sleeve of his robe to tie the plait at the bottom, then let it hang. His hair was so long that even braided it hung to his waist.

I found myself bizarrely admiring the effect, thinking that the style suited him before I reminded myself firmly that he’d abducted me and brought me here against my will. I wasn’t supposed to be thinking thoughts like wow having his hair pulled back really draws attention to the elegant line of his jaw at the back of his snout.

“So, what’s your deal?” I croaked, the movement of my mouth making my face slide slightly against the tub. I was too tired to lift my head. “You took me away from the other humans and brought me here... for what? Just so you’d be stuck babysitting me? Don’t you have better, alien things to do?”

His hair now dealt with and hands free, the alien leaned forward, placing his elbows on his splayed thighs and interlocking his fingers together, watching me but not answering. Despite the soft fit of his robes, the fabric strained across the bulk of his shoulders, and I thought I detected the tiny sound of fabric tearing, probably at one or both of the holes where his wings emerged. He either didn’t notice or didn’t care about the ripping, and I assumed it was probably the latter, because even with one eye I doubted much escaped his notice. Not that he would have seen the fabric tear, but surely he would have heard it with...

I blinked, realizing this was the first time I’d seen his ears. They were mostly flat to his head and positioned roughly where a human’s would be, but instead of being rounded they stretched back and up with long, tapered tips, like an elf or a goblin or a Finnish haltija.

A haltija is supposed to be helpful, to protect you, I thought sourly. And then, more than sour this time, bitterly, unbidden words came echoing back.

He brought you to an alien hospital and helped you pee and drew you a bath, didn’t he?

I sighed, putting a hold on the examination of my captor/guardian/whatever-he-was and observed the backs of my feet. I was too tired to lift up my legs and hunch over to inspect them, but with some gentle prodding and staring through the water I could tell the blisters that had festered back there were healing well. There was still some residual redness and tenderness, but it was nothing like the horrible, infected mess that had been there before. And the pain now was nothing like the fire I’d felt burning through my fever sleep.

That must have been some kind of medical procedure, I thought. That agonizing burn hadn’t exactly felt like antiseptic being poured onto a wound, but then again I’d barely been conscious, so who really knew? In my delirious panic, I’d imagined that I was being tortured, but in reality it was clear now that my infected wounds were being treated somehow. The flesh was pink and healing. My fever was gone. I was weak, sure, but I’d probably recover my strength eventually.

I was going to be alright. Apart from the whole abducted-by-an-alien thing, anyway.

“Thank you,” I said quietly. For the moment, I ignored the rising hackles, ignored the fact that the only reason I was here and had gotten sick was because of him. And honestly, maybe even that wasn’t entirely fair. I could have removed my boots before the blisters got so bad. I definitely should have taken them off and not slept in them all night. He didn’t force me to keep my alien microbe-soaked boots on open wounds all night. That was, honestly, on me.