I numbly pushed away from the vanity and changed into the first gown I retrieved from one of the chests, giving up on searching for a somewhat decent one.

As I walked to the table and picked up my glass, I eyed the platter of sugared fruits the Chosen had left after all the other plates were cleared. My appetite still hadn’t returned. I couldn’t recall my hunger being affected before, but Kolis’s recent punishment had likely played a role in what I knew was true, as did worrying about what Veses was up to. I was further along in my Ascension now, and all the other symptoms made sense. The headaches. The tiredness. I just hadn’t wanted to connect them because it meant time was running out.

I would go through my Ascension, and I wouldn’t survive. Sotoria would be lost, and the embers…

There would be no hope for the mortal realm.

Surprisingly, my mind didn’t linger there—on the most serious of the consequences. I didn’t even think about Ash. My thoughts went to the Ascended.

If I started to die and was still here with Kolis, he would take the embers and attempt to Ascend me.

I drifted closer to the bars, thinking about what Delfai had said: that the embers had melded with me. I’d have to be entirely drained for someone to remove them. My heart would stop. According to Kolis, the Ascended never died like the Revenants did. I’d forgotten that in my initial panic upon hearing Kolis’s plans.

There was some relief in remembering that. At least I wouldn’t come back as a being swept up in bloodlust.

Hopefully.

Because there was so much I didn’t know. Like what Kolis had shared about the Ancients, or the fact that Kolis’s blood could give life—I thought about Callum. Well, it sort of could. Even if there was only a sliver of a chance that Kolis could somehow pull off what he planned, it was a chance.

I took a sip, swallowing water that tasted like mixed fruit today. About to refill the glass, I heard the sound of footsteps. A moment later, I felt the embers pulsing in my chest.

Focusing on my breathing, I emptied my thoughts and became no one as I stepped back from the bars.

Kolis entered the chamber alone, his white linen pants hanging loosely from his hips, but I could see the shoulders of the men standing guard in the hall.

“So’lis,” he greeted with a warm, breezy smile. “You look lovely today.”

“Thank you,” I replied, my tone matching his. At least two days had passed since Veses visited me. I hadn’t seen Kolis at all yesterday, not until whatever constituted night here fell, and he showed yet again to demand that I sleep beside him.

He’d held me even tighter last night than the one before.

I had no idea where he’d been in the meantime or if Veses had gotten to him.

Strangely, I also hadn’t seen Callum since her visit.

Kolis’s steps slowed as he approached the cage door. “Though you do look quite tired.”

I blinked slowly at the criticism creeping into his voice.

“Did you not sleep well last night?”

I knew better than to tell the truth: that I’d only managed to doze and was unable to sleep deeply with him present. “I slept fine. I’m not sure why I look tired.”

“Then perhaps this will help.” He unlocked the cage. “I thought you might like to go for a walk.”

Go for a walk.

Like a dog.

If he were anyone else, I would’ve kicked him in the throat. Instead, I smiled. “That would be nice.”

And it would be. Any chance to leave the cage was an opportunity to see more of my surroundings.

“Good. Come.” He motioned me forward.

I did as he ordered, taking note of the guards. Elias was there, as always. This time, the other was the Revenant, Dyses. His eyes looked even paler in the fading sunlight.

“Where has Callum been?” I asked.

“I sent him away for a few days to handle something important for me,” he said, not elaborating on the task. “I figured you two could benefit from some space.” He looked down at me, his stare suddenly sharp. “Perhaps be less inclined to disobey me.”

Disobey him…?

Damn it, he had felt me using the embers when I’d spoken to Veses. Except he believed it was a result of my interactions with Callum.

Which meant that he remained unaware of Veses’ visit. It could possibly even mean that Veses hadn’t begun her campaign against me.

Despite how demented she was, Veses was smart enough not to launch an all-out verbal attack against me. She’d immediately arouse Kolis’s suspicions, and not in the way she wanted. But I was willing to bet she’d already been whispering in his ear, laying the groundwork.

Something else struck me as Kolis led me down the same path we’d taken to the Council Hall. The color of the Revenants’ eyes could only be described as a lifeless shade of blue. Emphasis on lifeless. I’d seen the eyes of the dead before, how they first fixed on the beyond and then glazed over. I’d seen the color change, or at least appear to. A film of sorts settled over them, the color a milky, bluish-gray.

Almost identical to a Revenant’s.

Was that because they had died?

I glanced behind us, relieved to see that only Elias followed. What I wanted to ask seemed sort of rude to ask in front of Dyses. “Can I ask you something about the Revenants?”

“Of course.” Kolis walked slowly, allowing me to keep pace beside him.

“Callum explained to me that Revenants are not in need of food or blood,” I began.

“They aren’t,” he confirmed as we passed under the palms’ broad leaves. “They have no need of anything that sustains either mortals or gods. Not even sleep.”

My brows knitted. “Then what of less-tangible things? Like companionship?”

“As in friendship? Love? Sex? No.”

Dear gods. “That sounds…”

“Wonderful?” He smiled. “Their lives are no longer tethered to the needs of the flesh or the wants of the soul. They’re driven only by the desire to serve their creator.”

Yeah, I wasn’t thinking wonderful at all. More like horrific.

“You don’t think so?” he asked as we approached the diamond-encrusted wall. The sparkling buildings of the city came into view.

I knew better than to breathe too deeply. The scent of decay was in the air.

“I…I just can’t imagine not wanting anything.” I honestly couldn’t as we turned toward the colonnade. “Not feeling anything.”

“I imagine it’s rather freeing,” he remarked as we climbed the short, wide steps.

I could barely keep my expression blank. While I’d wished I didn’t feel anything many times in my life, I couldn’t imagine a near eternity of feeling nothing. The mere thought of it caused my chest to constrict.

Forcing my breathing to even out and slow, I considered what Kolis had shared as we entered the hall of what I assumed was the main part of the sanctuary. The Revenants may be reborn and able to walk and talk and serve, but they were without wants and needs, and that was nothing more than a poor imitation of life.

Kolis had called the Craven the walking dead, but in reality, the Revenants were such.

Which was why Kolis hadn’t wanted to turn me into one of them. What came back had no soul. Revenants were just reanimated flesh and bones.

Gods, I felt sorry for them. I probably shouldn’t, because if there truly were no souls in them, then they weren’t people. They were just things—something that shouldn’t exist—but I did.

The hall was much quieter today, with only a few faint moans echoing from the shadowy alcoves. “But Callum is different,” I said, remembering both he and Kolis saying as much.

He nodded as we stopped by one of the curtained recesses. He drew the covering back, revealing a door. “Callum is full of wants and needs,” he replied dryly. “Just as you and I.”

So, Callum at least lived.

“And you truly don’t know why he turned out differently than the others?”