A. Yes, ma. Must I change the linen?
M. Do so, please. Tie the dirty things into a bundle and put them into the closet.
A. Shall we do any washing today?
M. No, not today. Now that I am ill we might have to give it to the laundry.
A. I’ll wash it myself tomorrow, ma.
M. We will see. Now, don’t forget to sweep the comers, Ann.
A. Yes, ma. Is this the rag to dust the furniture?
M. No, Ann, that rag is too coarse. There is a soft rag in the closet.
A. When are we going to buy a vacuum-cleaner, ma? It’s ever so much easier to dust the room with it.
M. It might be, Ann, but I’m accustomed to do it in the old way.
A. I will tell Dad to buy one. Well, ma, the rooms are done. Isn’t it time to cook dinner?
M. It is, dear. Oh, my! I forgot to tell you to mend the fire; it has gone out, I’m sure.
A. I will go and see, ma.
M. Please, do. And if the fire hasn’t gone out, poke it, put some chips and thrust a shovel of coal on top.
A. Yes, ma. (Goes out. After some time comes in.)
M. Well, Ann, has —. My! You just look at yourself in the mirror, Ann!
A. Why? Is anything the matter with me, ma?
M. You are dirty all over with soot. And look at your sleeves! What have you been doing there?
A. Well, ma, the fire was out and I had to remake it. Then the stove seemed to draw very badly.
M. You go and wash yourself and change your dress.
A. What a nuisance these kitchen stoves are, ma. Mary has such a nice gas-stove at their house; it’s so nice and clean, and then one has no need to trouble with that nasty coal and ... and get dirty.
M. Talk what you like, Ann, but I feel comfortable in our little cottage even without gas.
A. Yes, mama, but see what it leads to, this stove, I mean. I’ve —.
M. There, there, my dear. Go and wash yourself and be quick about it; there’s so much to do in the kitchen. There are the dishes to be washed up — You didn’t wash them in the morning, Ann, did you?
A. No, ma. How could I when I was out shopping?
M. Quite true, dear. Then dinner has to be ready by the time. Father comes home. Oh, my! I’ll have to get up, after all.
A. But you mustn’t, ma. The doctor —.
M. Well, I can, at least, sit there in the rocking-chair and help you by word of mouth.
VII. Meals
1. AT THE RESTAURANT
GEORGE. Well, here we are, Tom. Let’s take off our coats. ATTENDANT. Allow me to help you off your coats, gentlemen?
TOM. It’s a snug place, isn’t it?
HEADWAITER. Where would you like to sit, gentlemen?
GEORGE. Over there in the corner, I suppose.
TOM. It’s a snug place, isn’t it?
GEORGE. Yes, and quite out of the way of people.
TOM. Let’s see what they have. (He takes up the menu.) What about an omelette?
GEORGE. I’d rather have some fish.
TOM. And afterwards a nice beefsteak?
GEORGE. Just so.
TOM. Waiter!
WAITER. Directly, gentlemen. (He comes up to them.) What do you wish, gentlemen?
TOM. Omelette for one, fish for one, and beefsteak for two.
WAITER. Do you prefer the beefsteaks underdone or —? TOM. We don’t mind provided they are tender.
WAITER. Will you have any dessert?
TOM. What pastry have you?
WAITER. We have apple-pie.
GEORGE. Have you any pudding?
WAITER. Yes, sir. Plum-pudding and rice-pudding.
GEORGE (to Tom). What about plum-pudding, Tom?
TOM. Yes. Two plates, please.
WAITER. Yes, sir. Any cheese?
TOM. No cheese for me. What about you, George?
GEORGE. I’ll take a cup of coffee. Won’t you have one also?
TOM. Yes. Make it two. That’ll be all, 1 suppose.
GEORGE. A glass of fresh water for me, please.
WAITER. Yes, sir.
TOM. What have we to pay, waiter?
WAITER.... shillings and sixpence, sir.
TOM. Here you are. Have you change for a pound note?
WAITER. Yes, sir. There it is ... shillings and sixpence.
TOM. Forget the sixpence.
WAITER. Thank you, gentlemen. Goodbye.
2. TOMMY AT LUNCH
MOTHER. Tommy, lunch is ready.
TOMMY. I don’t want to eat, Mummy.
MOTHER. But you must, Tommy. TOMMY. No.
MOTHER. I insist upon your eating. Just a little bit, my boy.
TOMMY. No.
MOTHER. Now, Tommy, be a good boy. Just sit down here and have a little bit of fish.
TOMMY. I want Grannie to sit next to me.
MOTHER (to Grandmother). Sit down with him, Mother dear, and try to make him eat.
GRANDMOTHER. Well, here, Tommy. Have some fish. There’s a dear.
TOMMY. That’s too much.
MOTHER (takes away some). Will that do now, Tommy? TOMMY. I want the cat to sit here.
MOTHER. Oh, my! What a troublesome boy you are, Tommy! (Places the cat on another chair.) There now. Eat, will you?
TOMMY. The cat wants to eat too.
MOTHER. What am I to do with this boy? Well, give it some then, but do eat, will you? (Tom begins feeding the cat.) Are you ever going to eat anything yourself, Tommy?
TOMMY. The cat hasn’t eaten enough yet.
MOTHER. You make my blood boil, Tommy, the way you behave. (To Grandmother.) Mother dear, can you do anything with that boy? He is altogether out of hand. I can’t stand it any more. (Goes away.)
GRANDMOTHER. Now, Tommy, stop trifling with the fish, will you?
TOMMY. I am picking out the bones, Grannie. The cat won’t eat bones, will it?
GRANDMOTHER. But there is hardly anything left there now. You have given it all away to the cat!
TOMMY. But I don’t want any, Grannie, really not.
GRANDMOTHER. Well, drink your coffee then. It has already grown cold.
TOMMY. Coffee? I want some milk.
GRANDMOTHER. But there is no milk left, Tommy. TOMMY. All the better. I want to play.
3. AT DINNER
ANN. Good morning, John. Come in, please.
JOHN. Thank you. Is Fred at home?
ANN. Yes, he’s in his study. This way, please.
JOHN. Hello, old chap. How goes the world with you?
FRED. Fine. So nice of you to have come. We are about to have dinner.
ANN. Will you dine with us, John?
JOHN. With the greatest pleasure. I’m ever so hungry.
ANN. That’s fine. Well, I’m off to lay the table. Excuse me, please.
JOHN. By all means.
At Table
FRED. Say, John, what about a drink?
JOHN. Will a duck swim?1
FRED. Here, down this.
JOHN. To you, Ann. But you are ftot —.
ANN. No, thank you. I never take wine.
FRED. Well, here’s something for you, Ann. Hand me your tumbler, please. Well, John, be good. Ann? {They drink.)
JOHN. It’s good to be in a company like this.
ANN. Let me help you to some salad, John.
JOHN. Please do. That’s quite enough, thank you.
ANN. Some soup, John?
JOHN. Why, yes! I think I could manage a plateful.
ANN. How do you find it?
JOHN. Awfully nice, really. Don’t you think so, Fred?
FRED. Yes, it is indeed. Pass me the salt, Ann, will you?
ANN. Here you are. Some more bread, Fred?
FRED. Yes, please. What comes next, Annie?
ANN. Chops with roast potatoes, fish —.
FRED. And what follows that?
ANN. Wouldn’t you like to make a guess?
FRED. Stewed apricots as usual, I suppose.
ANN. There you are wrong, Fred. It’s apple dumpling2 with whipped cream!
JOHN. Apple dumpling, and with whipped cream! My, isn’t that fine!
ANN. I am happy that I’ve suited your taste, John. And do you like it, Fred?
FRED. Oh, yes. You know I do.
ANN. Do you take milk in your coffee, John?
JOHN. Yes, I do. (Ann hands him a cup of coffee.) Thank you. FRED. Well, John, what about a cigar?
JOHN. With great pleasure.
Vocabulary Note
1 Will a duck swim? (Fam.) — Еще спрашиваешь. С большим удовольствием. 2 apple dumpling — яблоко, запеченное в тесте
