I say nothing as I stare at my aunt. She stares right back, her eyes going glassy as she says, “King Zeelix is battling his urge to erase all memory of your mother and the fate he left her to, Kiahn. It makes him uncomfortable to be reminded of what he did. And you and your brothers are the biggest reminders of all.”

I can not deny any of what she is saying. Even I’ve let my mind circle this line of thought like water around a drain. But we are talking about my Niska, not my fucking father and what he did to my mother. I let out a displeased snort through my nose and turn my back to them to gaze unseeing through the window. Not for the first time do I wish that my bloodline venom had properties that my father valued. If for nothing else, that I would not need to worry about shit like this.

I also wish I could feel the properties of my own venom. I could use some clarity and focus right about now.

“Your father did love my sister, Kiahn.” Aunt Zalora says. I can hear the thud of her cane against the flooring as she approaches. “He is not so cruel that he would set the wheels in motion to get rid of us, but as soon as one of his senators suggests it, he will entertain it. Once the idea garners more support. We will be replaced.”

“Maybe we should be,” I shrug before turning to face her. “Maybe it is time for new bloodlines.”

I half expect her to spout something about disrespecting my mother, or counter that we do not know what a new ruling family would do to these lands and our people. But instead, she steps close, tipping her head back to look me in the eye and says, “and then where would your Niska be?”

* * *

I stare at the single, pink, blinking dot shown on the palace bio-locator map that Vel tapped into from security. My aunt had slunk away after I’d told her she is being sent on a visit to the capital for a time - without her assistant. I can understand her intent with what she did with Niska, but the whole thing feels wrong now that I’m firmly looking at it from the right point of view. I had been angry at Niska for the lie, when she hadn’t really had a choice - or rather, she had a set of two fucked up choices, and one was only slightly less shitty than the other.

But, I need to speak to Niska. I need to apologize. First, I need to find her. And for that, I needed Vel.

“Are you sure there’s no maintenance scheduled?” I ask, still eying the pink dot on the map that indicates there is one lone person on board the royal cruiser. “What room is that anyway?”

Vel squints at the map, pinching and zooming here and there as she readjusts the angle. “Looks like the lagoon room. I suppose it could be an engineer-”

She doesn’t get to finish her words. I am already out the door, racing toward the palace port tower.

I know it’s her. My breathing speeds up the closer I get, my heart feels like it could burst right out of my chest at this rate. But nothing could prepare me for how relieved I would feel to finally set eyes on her again.

There, in the middle of the indoor lagoon, my Niska floats on her back, staring up at the artificial night sky on the ceiling while holographic moonbugs flitter over her like they’re putting on a show for an audience of one. She is wearing a silk sleeping shift, though it is different from the one she was wearing when I had so foolishly confronted her about the contraceptives. This one is cream in color and clings to her shapely form now that it is soaked through from the lagoon.

I don’t bother to take my own clothes off. Instead, I start wading through the warm waters, only caring about speaking to my Niska, and not much else.

She must hear me, and feel the ripples in the water at my approach. Her only indication of a greeting, though, is how her eyes flick to mine when I’m practically standing over her. They go back to the moonbugs pretty quickly, and I feel like I’ve been dismissed.

Sighing, I lay back and float with her.

It is peaceful with my ears submerged beneath the water. All I can hear is the faint tinkle of the lagoon’s waterfall, and my own breathing. All I can see is the artificial night sky, and dancing moonbugs.

But all I can think about is her.

We drift like that for a short while. At one point, my leg floats against hers and it feels like that one small touch sends a surge of sorcery through my body. I try not to look to see where she is, but do so anyway. My movements are slow and smooth, but I manage to maneuver myself alongside my Niska so that we are both floating side-by-side, staring up at the fake stars and the up-lit exotic plants of the lagoon room.

After some time, I tentatively move my hand closer to hers. Inch-by-inch as we drift together. My fingers spread, trying to extend toward her until I feel the faintest brush of my hand against hers. I suck in a breath, hoping she won’t dismiss me and go off to hide somewhere else.

I thank the four that she doesn’t. Slowly, my hand tries again. We bump and brush each other, until my little finger wraps around hers.

And she allows it.

As gentle as my hold actually is, it feels to me like I’m desperately clinging to my Niska.

I hear her sigh and she stands, stopping her floating to face me. Mirroring her, neither of us say anything at first. We just stare at one another, our hair and clothes dripping.

“I want you to know that I am very sorry for lying to you, Kiahn.”

My brows pinch and I close my eyes. “No, please don’t. Don’t-… You have nothing to apologize for.”

“I do,” she insists. “I lied to you. The closer we grew, the more I wanted to tell you, but I just… I didn’t. And then I had to go and make it complicated by wanting more from you, so, please accept my apology.”

I do nothing but map her features for a breath or two, until there’s nothing left for me to do but get on my knees in front of her, the waters now up to my chest. “Only if you accept mine, Niska.” I peer up at her as a small puff of air escapes her lips. “I blamed you for a position you had no control over, instead of thinking about why you made your choices, I chose to sit and stew in my own feelings of being wronged. Truly, Niska, I am very sorry. Not just for my behavior, but for the situation you and your friends are in, and the things you’ve had to do to get yourself out of it.”

A ghost of a smile lifts one corner of her lips. “It wasn’t all bad,” she says, reaching out to stroke her thumb over my cheek. “Some of it turned out to be pretty good, actually.”

I lean into her touch, closing my eyes. “Please accept my apology, Niska. It is tearing me to pieces that I upset you.”

And then her hand is gone.

Niska sucks in a long breath and lets it out in a burst, her shoulders rising and falling with the motion. “I accept your apology, Kiahn… But where do I stand if we end our contract now? Do me and the girls still get to stay here? Do we get somewhere to live? Will we be safe?”

I stand, taking hold of her hand in both of mine. “Niska, you will never go back to that life. You will always have a place here. You can have it all - everything I agreed to in the contract, but… you want to end it-… now?”

She tilts her head to look up at me, a small smile on her face, but my heart plummets when she says, “I think it would be for the best, yes.”

“But-”

“I was bought for you, Kiahn,” she interrupts, her expression soft, but her tone firm. “Nothing about us is normal, and the longer I try to pretend that it is, the harder it’s going to hurt when this all comes to an end.” Her pretty eyes go glassy and her lip trembles a little when she says the words that I know I’ll hear echoes of for the rest of my life. “Please don’t force me to love you any more than I already do, Kiahn. I don’t think I could stand it when you have to walk away.”

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