But I could die after I crossed the finish line, because I hadn’t trained and busted my ass for months not to. If anything, I became more and more determined to drag myself across the finish line if it came down to it. By the time I made it to the last mile, I was more limping and lurching than even walking. My calves had locked up on me. My shin splints were going to be a serious pain in the ass for weeks to come, and my quads were shredded.

Honestly, I felt like I had the flu, Ebola, and strep throat combined.

Thinking back on it, I wasn’t sure how the hell I managed to cross the finish line. Sheer will and determination, I guess. I’d never been so proud of myself or pissed off at myself than right then.

I thought I started crying, mostly because every bone and muscle in me was crying, and because I couldn’t believe I’d actually made it.

But when I spotted that giant, brown-haired man bee-lining through people like a runaway train, I definitely started damn near bawling. People cheered me on, but I couldn’t find it in me to thank them because I wanted only one thing and it wasn’t close enough.

I wanted the big-headed mirage coming toward me, and I wanted it three hours ago. I wanted it two weeks ago.

Even from the forty feet that separated us, I could see him through my blurry eyes, frowning as he found me mixed up in the crowd. I dropped to my knees, ignoring the personnel that surrounded me, making sure I was okay. Realistically, I knew I wasn’t dying. Not really.

It was just… traumatic. And all I wanted was a hug, a shower, food, and a nap.

Mostly though, I wanted that human-sized steamroller barreling through the people who separated us with even more urgency. He was like Moses parting a sea of people. The second he stopped in front of me, I held my arms out and let him grab me under the armpits, deadlifting me before engaging those giant biceps and pulling me up to be eye to eye with him. I didn’t appreciate that incredible feat of strength because what he did afterward…

I threw my arms around his neck and he hugged me. In front of everyone, he hugged the living shit out of me as if he hadn’t walked out on me and left me alone when all I wanted was him. I wrapped my legs high above his hips like a spider monkey, not giving a crap about the wedgie my shorts were giving me, much less that there were photographers, who were supposed to be busy taking pictures of the marathon runners, circling The Wall of Winnipeg and me in our moment.

Yeah, I cried into his neck and he pressed his face against my hair. His words were low, reassuring, and whispered.

“That’s my girl. That’s my fucking girl.”

“What are you doing here?” I practically bawled into him.

“I missed you.”

“You what?”

His arms tightened around me. “I missed you very much.”

Oh hell.

“I had to come see you,” he continued on.

“You were here, and you didn’t tell me?”

“I didn’t want to distract you,” that low voice explained, his hand cupping the back of my neck. “I knew you were going to do it.”

His words only made me want to cry more, but not necessarily just tears of joy. “I’m dying. I need you to get me a Segway. I’m never walking ever again,” I blubbered.

“You’re not dying, and I’m not buying you that,” he said.

“Everything hurts.”

Was he laughing? “I’m sure.”

I realized I didn’t care if he was laughing at my expense. “Can you carry me?”

“You’re insulting me, Van. Of course I can.” I thought he kissed my cheek, but I couldn’t be sure because my eyes were closed and I was scared to open them and find that I was dreaming and imagining this all happening. “But will I?” he asked.

I only embraced him tighter and squeezed my exhausted thighs around him as much as I could, which probably only lasted three seconds total. It was a miracle I managed to do that, honestly.

I was pretty sure his mouth grazed my temple and I sniffled, pausing. “Are you kissing me?”

“Yes. I’m so proud of you.”

“Okay,” I whined with a sniffle. Yeah, I hugged that big neck even tighter. “Will you take me home, big guy?”

My no-nonsense, no-bullshit Aiden said it. “After you walk around for ten minutes to cool down.”

“You need to replenish your carbs,” Aiden said as he came into my room with a plate in his hand. On it was brown rice, black-eyed peas, an entire avocado, what looked like roasted and sliced squash, and perched on the edge was an entire apple. He had a glass of water in his other hand and a small bottle of coconut water tucked under his arm.

I sat up in bed with a yawn, tossing the throw I’d slept wrapped in to the side. “You’re an angel.” I still couldn’t believe he’d come back. It didn’t seem real.

He walked over to the side of the bed, dropped his hip on the edge, and passed over the glass of water first. “Did you have a good nap?”

Considering I’d gone straight from the car to the bathroom, where I’d sat in the tub cross-legged and showered, and then dragged my way back to my room and passed the hell out, I felt pretty well. The muscles in my legs were incredibly tight and even my shoulders felt extremely tense. I felt ill, but I figured that was only because I should have eaten more than the two bananas Aiden had shoved into my hand on the car ride back and the bag of mixed nuts Zac, who had been waiting on a bench after the marathon, shared with me.

“Yeah,” I told him, chugging down half the water before taking the plate from his hand and digging in without another word.

I caught Aiden watching me when I took the time to look at him, but I was so busy inhaling the food, I didn’t do it much. About three-fourths of the way through my plate, I finally wiped at my chin with the back of my hand and shot him a grateful smile. “Thank you so much for making that for me.”

“Uh-huh.” He pointed at the corner of his mouth. “You have rice right there.”

Wiping at the spot he was pointing out, I asked, “How long was I asleep?”

“About three hours.”

Three hours? Shit, I didn’t think I’d slept that long.

“Van.” Aiden’s face swam into my groggy vision. “What were you going to tell me before your run?”

Aww shit. Shit, shit, shit. Had I completely forgotten about it? No. I’d thought about what I’d told him at least a thousand times in the four hours it took me to run. I’d wanted to kick myself in the ass for saying anything at least half the time. The other half of the time, when I was reminding myself I was amazing and I was running a marathon so I could tackle the world and Iron Man competitions, I felt like I’d done the right thing.

With a plate of food he’d cooked for me on my lap and a bottle of coconut water in between his massive thighs and an empty glass on my nightstand, I was going to tell Aiden I loved him.

I loved him. I loved him so much I would do just about anything for him. I loved him enough to risk spending the next four and a half years of my life with a man who would more than likely divorce me and move on with his career.

Because fuck it, what was life if you didn’t live it and make the most out of it? What was life without loving someone who cared about you a lot more than he cared about anyone else? That was my truth. Aiden had hugged me and told me he was proud of me in front of reporters and strangers alike, when he held on to his privacy with both hands.

And it hadn’t been fake.

I could do this.

I would.

Because I would rather tell him than spend the rest of my life wondering about what would have happened if I told him he meant the world to me. That he was the first new person in my life I completely trusted. That I could settle for being number two in his life until he had more time.

So I said it, even though my fingers were gripping the plate so hard I was worried it would break. I made myself look him in the eye as I did it. “I was going to tell you… I was going to tell you that I love you. I know you said you don’t want a relationship, and I know things between us are super complicated—”