I looked out over the crowd, waiting until Wyn’s attention was caught by a red-headed vampire in Auré’s retinue and she’d turned her back to us, and grabbed Cirri’s hand. “Now.”

She dashed out the door, heels clicking, hand pressed over her mouth as her shoulders shook. I was right behind her, hunched over to avoid Wyn’s wrathful attention, and led her up the stairs.

“Second floor, balcony, go,” I whispered, and Cirri dashed upwards, her skirts whipping around the spiral staircase just ahead of me.

She stopped at the top, the door opening onto a wide terrace that overlooked the Bloodgarden, her breath coming in little gasps. The faint strains of music echoed through the still night.

In the open central courtyard of the keep, with the garden spread before us and the full moon high overhead, I could almost believe it was a fairytale, one in which I wasn’t the beast, but the prince.

And here was my princess, leaning over the balustrade to touch the bloodroses that had grown high.

For a moment, I was speechless at the sight. Could she really be mine?

Cirri turned around, face still flushed. I want to ask you something. 

“Ask away.” I joined her at the balustrade, glancing down into the darkened garden. Nothing moved in those shadows. “For you, I am an open book.”

Cirri licked her lips, eyes darting between me and the garden. Once or twice her hands moved, but she cut off her words each time she started.

Finally, she held out both hands, palms down, and bobbed them up and down in an outward movement.

I stared at her, understanding the motion, but my mind failed to make any sense of it. Surely she was not asking…

Children, she said again, then rested her hand on her lower stomach for a moment. Are you… do you want them? 

“I can’t say…” My voice was rough. I cleared my throat and tried again. “I can’t say I thought it likely, so I didn’t anticipate asking. But yes, if I could have all my hopes and dreams answered, I would want children.”

Her cheeks were redder than ever. With me?

I took her hands, ran my thumbs over her palms, felt the calluses on her fingertips. “That goes without saying, my lady.”

Cirri swallowed hard, staring down at our interlaced hands.

“I can’t see them with anyone else,” I admitted softly. “There’s so much I can’t see with anyone else. But if you thought… if you thought I would demand that you bear them, if you didn’t, well, want them, especially with me—”

Ancestors, I was rambling.

She shook her head, pulling her hands away. I do want them, with you. Someday. When things are better.

Cirri took a breath, closing her eyes and pressing her hands to her flushed cheeks. I was feeling hot myself, my cock aching hard, imagining filling Cirri with seed and her belly swelling round with my child…

Something I had not envisioned for myself. They had been one of the things I was sure I would give up forever.

Bane. There’s something else. 

“Anything.”

She opened her eyes, the deep green nearly black in the moonlight. The light haloed her, limning her pale skin and crimson hair in silver.

She rose onto her tiptoes, laced her hands around my neck. I held her waist, always pleased when she dared to kiss me, her soft lips moving carefully over mine.

Kisses, children, the gift of her blood… if my life was proof of anything, it was that nothing in life was fair. I didn’t deserve her, but having her made me want to live up to that worthiness.

She made a soft sound, a sigh, nipping at my lower lip until I opened for her. Carefully, so carefully, I slipped my tongue around hers, holding still so she wouldn’t cut herself on my fangs.

Cirri’s weight pressed against me, her hands sliding down my shoulders and over my chest.

She stood upright slowly, opening her eyes again. Peering into my soul, it felt like, reading something there.

Bane, she said, faltering.

“Anything, my lady. Don’t be afraid.”

She raised her chin, firming her shoulders. When I came here, I was afraid. Nobody could understand me. But you learned. When I’m with you, I feel heard. I don’t feel invisible anymore. 

I opened my mouth, and she put a finger to my lips.

What I’m trying to say… She took a deep breath, hands trembling. When I see you, the whole world becomes bright. Everything feels possible. I adore you beyond words. 

“Surely you know that I feel the same. Cirri, you’re everything I hoped for. Everything… I thought I would lose. Most days I wake up and I can’t believe you’re real, that this is my life.”

The faintest, shaky smile crossed her lips. Then you do know how I feel. There’s not a single day I wake up and don’t want to be with you. But… this is hard to ask.

“For the third time, anything,” I growled, cupping her face with utmost caution. “And the third time is always the charm.”

I would give her anything. Books, palaces, children. Jewels or silks. All the paper in the holds, anything else she desired.

She could ask for anything and I would give it with open hands.

The sight of my terrible hands around that beautiful face… it was that image I had in my head, the tainted reflection of the princess and the monster in the glass, that made my stomach drop to my feet when she finally asked.

I want to be with you forever, she said, staring up at me with those eyes. This doesn’t have to end. I want you to keep me, Bane.

Anything but chaining her for eternity. Anything but forcing her to live through the times when things were bad… when I wasn’t even capable of pretending to be civilized.

When I was truly a monster to the bone.

But the same monster roared at me now, screaming and rattling the bars of my mind—it knew I would never give her up. It knew it was selfish, and delighted in that fact.

It knew I would say yes. I loved her, and I would give her anything she wanted.

I want you to give me your blood.

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Chapter 31 Cirri

My heart raced, slamming against my ribs as Bane gazed down at me.

“Cirri…” he breathed.

I believed that I loved him. No, I knew I loved him. Somewhere along the way I had stopped seeing him as a hideous beast, and I saw only the good in him.

And I wasn’t willing to lay down one day and let death have me, ripping me away from all I loved.

My only fear was that he didn’t feel the same. Maybe he adored me, but it wasn’t a love strong enough to want me forever.

Fear iced my spine, my palms going clammy.

I want to be with you, I signed, unable to stop my hands from trembling. I feel that I am your true mate, Bane. Nobody else. Only me.

He exhaled slowly, taking my hands, and the fear was choking me, an almost physical presence in my chest that threatened to crush my heart and lungs.

Bane was going to tell me no, that I had it all wrong. That I wasn’t a true mate, not worthy of centuries with him, that the horrible portrait of me was the only memory he would ever want.

His eyes gleamed, amber and soot, flashing with his predator’s nightshine as he looked at me.

I swallowed, my throat tightening. Even if he told me no… I refused to cry.

“You feel that because you are,” he said softly. “You are the only one for me, as I am the only one for you. There will never be another.”

For a moment I couldn’t place his words. I’d been expecting a rejection so deeply that it took my mind a second to catch up.

Then… you’ll give me your blood? I asked, reclaiming my hands to speak. You’ll keep me?