What’s next?

Full-blown recollection of things I couldn’t afford to recall? What if my nightmares entered my reality again? What if I couldn’t shut it off?

Panic made me angry, and anger made me short-tempered. Snatching her by the wrist, I barked, “Enough. Time to go home.”

She pulled against me as I dragged her from the bathroom. Her socked feet slid on the marble tile, skidding into me. “Wait. I don’t want to go back down there.”

“I don’t care what you want.”

“Please. Lock me in here. Let me have access to sunlight and a toilet, for god’s sake.”

Hauling her through the room, I glowered at the crimson and silver space. Luckily, no other memories sprang forth. Only the vague sensation that something bad had happened here, and it was time for me to go.

Reaching the door, I changed the subject. I deflected back onto my tempting little trespasser. A prisoner I should probably get rid of but still wanted far too badly. “How many exits do you count? Be honest, I’m curious.”

Her forehead furrowed, her arm still squirming in my hold for freedom.

I waited for her to play dumb. To pretend she hadn’t searched every wall, nook, and window for signs of easy breakouts. However, she once again surprised me when she stopped fighting and went with honesty instead. “I really shouldn’t say this, but at first glance, I see one in the bathroom and at least three in this bedroom.”

The door, window, and balcony.

I stopped pulling her, and we stood far too close. So close those damn currents of energy crackled between us, making my belly coil and thighs bunch. “The windows being the obvious choice.”

She nodded reluctantly. “That and this door. I remember the layout of the house. If I could pick the lock, I could run down the corridor and out the front door.”

“There aren’t any locks.” I clenched my jaw against hazy awareness of why that was. Why this entire place didn’t have a single lock on any door or window, apart from the cells below and my rigged attempts in my dorm. I’d made deadbolts for the exterior doors but hadn’t bothered with the internal ones. It’d been yet another mind game. A power trip to those unfortunate not to be guests here but permanent residents.

“Is that why you won’t let me stay in this room?”

“What do you think?” I sneered.

“I think I proved you can trust me.”

I laughed. “It’ll take a lot more than that to earn my trust.”

“Tell me, and I’ll do it.” Her green swirling eyes melded with brown, firing with so many things. The intensity of her made my heart pound. She made equal urges of violence and protection fight for space in my chest.

It couldn’t be permitted to continue.

Shutting everything down, locking her out of my goddamn heart and head, I dug my fingers into her wrist and dragged her down the corridor.

“Wait.” She once again tried to free herself. “Stop! Let’s talk about this—”

I barely even noticed.

I was done with this.

I wanted to be alone.

Her pleas, threats, and curses made no difference as I relocated her from splendor to squalor. Down the stairs and into the dank darkness.

“Sleep well.” I gave her a shove, tossing her inside the cell before slamming the door in her face.

* * * * *

That night, I didn’t sleepwalk.

I dreamed.

I fell into the pits of my desolated and demented mind, coating myself in filth I could never be free of, drowning in memories that I refused to recall.

And I died a little more.

I’d been dying ever since I’d arrived in this putrid house.

“You all good?”

I raised my bruised head and forced my eyes to focus on Zanik. It took effort to see again. To summon the will to pay attention instead of wishing on a minutely basis to be blind.

Zanik stood as straight as his last beating would allow him. His bronze skin a shade lighter with agony. His black eyes and midnight hair were as feral as the rest of us.

He said his father was Jamaican and his mother Irish. They’d been good parents. Until they weren’t.

I grunted a non-answer and pushed off from the door where I’d been swaying with the sudden urge to vomit. Climbing the stairs had pushed me to my limit.

I swallowed bile, ignored my wounds, and shuffled to my assigned dormitory bed. I didn’t bother stripping or washing or even pissing in the bucket. My body was done. I had nothing left. I fell face-first onto the uncomfortable mattress and groaned in pain.

Feet whispered their way toward me. The presence of a boy trapped in hell just like me hovered by my arm. His closeness set off the chain reaction inside me. I couldn’t have someone close to me right now. Not after what they’d done tonight.

But Zanik was like me.

He cared even while they broke him. He wouldn’t let me suffer alone even though that was all I wanted.

When his hand stroked my back, the pain of his kindness almost tore me in two.

A heavy sob clawed up my throat, but I choked it back down.

No one cried here anymore.

No one.

“You’re okay, Kas. We’ll protect you for the rest of the night. Won’t we, guys?”

My ears pricked as the other unfortunates in this prison all spoke as one. A mumble of misery with our messed-up brotherhood sisterhood.

“We’ll watch over you, Kassen.”

Female blended with male.

There were no separate bedrooms for different sexes. No screens for privacy when we changed or had to go to the bathroom. We were as intimately linked as any person—family or friends could be.

Forcing strength I didn’t have into my body, I sat up. I flopped onto my ass and gritted my teeth against the pain resonating from my asshole to the base of my skull.

They’d been extra ‘attentive’ tonight. Rough and ruthless. Not sparing me an inch.

A girl with blond hair, a gap in her teeth, and pretty hazel eyes slid off her squeaky bed and came to me. We stared at each other for a moment. Her pity for me was obvious. My pity for her was equally visible. We all stank of pity for one another.

Wordlessly, she opened her arms and crawled into bed with me.

I flinched against her contact.

I didn’t want to be touched and had long lost the privilege of touching another, but she didn’t give me space to become rotten with what they’d done. They could take away so much from us, but here, in this tiny dormitory, we all did our best to patch each other up, glue up our holes, sticky-tape our breaks, and not shatter completely.

Her small body fitted against me, and Zanik joined our awkward hug. He sat on my other side, wrapping his arms around me and Quell.

And we just sat there.

We sat there for so long, exhaustion found me, and I started to slip into sleep.

I was only vaguely aware as more of my family joined us on my bed.

Nyx and Jareth, Maliki and Sarez.

My heart tried to heal but, instead, tore itself to pieces, knowing that our fractured unit wasn’t complete. Elise, Neo, and Wes were still serving.

I’d been the first to finish. I wished I’d been the last so the others could be here. Safe in the arms of each other. Protected from more pain.

Tomorrow, I would try all over again to figure out how to save them. I would do my chores and get on my knees, all while seeking out the weaknesses of this place.

But until then, I would sleep. I would heal. I would grow stronger and smarter so I could keep the promise we’d all made.

The promise that had been bound in blood almost two years ago.

It’d been Nyx’s idea.