Spotless.
If this place was so well maintained, it must have a bevy of cleaners. Perhaps I’d arrived before guests had been delivered and the staff had headed out for supplies?
A grocery run?
Out in the middle of nowhere?
Where did they shop?
How did the building supplies needed to make such an opulent castle end up in the middle of a national park?
Spinning around, I frowned. “What is this place?”
No one answered me. A blackbird suddenly fluttered through a doorway, its wings whispering as it soared out the open window beyond. Was that what I heard before? Or was someone watching me tiptoe through their carefully preserved home?
“I don’t mean to intrude. If anyone’s there, I’d love to meet you.” I waited for a few seconds but only silence replied.
Leaving the dining room, I entered a game room complete with large chests with playing cards and casino chips resting on velvet flocked tops. The ceiling was painted black and lowered. Furs of dead beasts littered the floors and the back of couches. Ashtrays with fresh cigars waited to be lit. A wall of weaponry glinted with swords, ancient guns, and shields.
Confused and growing slightly unnerved at this palace wrapped in poverty, I braced myself and stepped back into the foyer. My eyes shot skyward, seeking out the bedrooms above.
Where was the owner?
Who lives here?
My hand latched onto the polished banister, my weight swaying forward.
Don’t you dare.
Leave, Gem.
Go home.
Imagine what Joshua would say if he knew what you’re doing.
“Hello? Is anyone up there? My name’s Gem, and I would really love to chat.”
Great, you’ve truly gone nuts.
No voice replied. No hint that I wasn’t alone and talking to myself.
The house was empty. However, there was another level to explore before I could be certain.
No. Don’t be stupid. Think before you—
Too late.
I put one foot on the staircase and climbed.
OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER SIX
I’D RUN FOR MILES.
To the cave and back, through the western forest, and around the entire valley. Each time I tired and thought about resting, the unsettling sensation of sleepwalking and the unnerving prickle that something wasn’t quite right pushed me onward.
My lungs panted. My legs pumped. I pushed myself to the brink of exhaustion.
My bare feet were used to such abuse. My soles had long since turned to leather. Twigs didn’t hurt; pebbles didn’t matter. I flew over the ground and welcomed rivulets of sweat to run down my naked back.
Air rushed over my skin while the sunshine warmed and tanned. Being outside never failed to chase away my demons. It helped that I ran fast. I bolted. I wasn’t running for exercise but for sanity.
At least my mind was calmer than it had been this morning. Summer was my favorite time of the year. The season where food grew easy, the forest was alive with activity, and I could run without needing to bundle up in clothing.
Today, I just wore a pair of tight gray boxer briefs. I’d returned to the house after the birds spooked to dress. However, I wasn’t in the mood for clothing. I wasn’t in the mood to be human. Briefs had been the only item I selected, purely for support purposes. I wouldn’t even wear those if it didn’t hurt. I’d tried running naked a few times. I’d cupped myself and done my best to prevent gravity from tugging on my balls, but I’d had to concede when I started getting hard.
I fucking hated getting hard.
It filled me with self-disgust.
It made me ache for something I couldn’t have and hunger for things that were pure evil.
Touching myself to wash was one thing. Touching myself to rid that tangled heat in my blood was entirely another.
It was vile.
My teeth clenched together. I hadn’t meant to let my thoughts stray. They didn’t often go to forbidden territory, but today seemed to be intent on destroying me. First the sleepwalking and now the heavy ache inside me. If running wouldn’t stop such things, perhaps a swim would.
Veering off course, I ran away from the sweeping hillsides that led to the top of the valley and followed a narrow animal track to the river.
Bowling out from the trees, I didn’t stop.
The blue beckoned me.
The cleansing promise of the water summoned me faster.
I leaped off the edge and dived into the deep swimming hole that housed fish, eels, and the occasional crayfish that lived in the cave system.
I plummeted down, sinking to the bottom as fresh water consumed me. Wetness washed away my sweat, cooled the nasty aches in my belly, and reminded me, like all the times before, that it was okay to have needs. I was no different from the bears and squirrels who fucked in the forest. It was nature. It was natural.
Still doesn’t mean I’m interested.
My hands went to my hips and shoved off the boxer briefs. Ripping them down my legs, I bunched them up and swam nude. Swimming naked was pleasurable. Running naked was not.
At least with nothing cupping me, I could forget the tightness of cotton. I could calm down and allow the heat in my blood to vanish.
The temptation to let the boxers float away came strong, but I ignored it.
I’d done that one too many times, and the available options in the house had dwindled to just a few pairs. Once they wore out, I’d have nothing. Therefore, I’d keep this pair even though I preferred to wear nothing for as long as the season permitted.
I didn’t know how long I remained in the river, floating on the surface before ducking and gliding along the bottom. Hunger for food finally overshadowed my hunger for sex, and I climbed reluctantly from the watery embrace.
Droplets cascaded down my torso and legs as I strode back toward the ivy-shrouded house. My cock bounced against my thighs, once again turning hard despite my self-disgust.
I’d thought, as more time passed, that those urges would fade. In the beginning, I’d been blessedly free from wanting any form of sexual release. Unfortunately, it’d become rather insistent the past couple of years.
The cramping in my balls. The hardness between my legs. My body’s demands for pleasure always went unanswered, but it cost me. It made my temper spike and frustration bubble.
Stop it.
Ignore it, and it will pass.
Fisting the boxers, I focused on getting home. Once I’d eaten and done my daily chores, I could lose myself in a book. Perhaps, I’d find one I hadn’t already read. Or I could finally lower the chandelier in the entrance hall and clean the crystals. I hadn’t done that for years and had been putting it off for too long.
It was a bitch of a job, but it was the only part of the house that hinted at the filth existing within the walls, and it bothered me.
My mind continued to bounce from work to what I should cook. I’d have to start conserving crops soon. The endless task of freezing, drying, and preparing a larder for winter.
I’d gotten pretty good at prepping. Supposed it was thanks to the third winter when I’d finally exhausted the large amount of produce that’d been stored here and almost starved.
I hadn’t planned ahead.
I’d gone hungry.
For months, I survived on scrawny game and river water. By the time spring came and the snow left, I’d read every book in the library on cultivation and put the many packets of seeds in the storeroom to use.
If it’s this hot this summer, it means an equally cold winter is on its way.
Urgency made me walk faster, ticking off a mental checklist of things to do. The veggie patch needed weeding, the celery needed harvesting, and the cucumbers re-stringing. I also had the shit job of fertilizing, which included raiding the septic tank, scouring the woods for animal scat, and enduring the stench in the sun.
