7. Discipline. Behaviour. Manner: to discipline smb., a way of teaching politeness, to be punctual, to interrupt a conversation,

to get quarrelsome, the art of living together, to lead to frayed nerves for days on end, to develop a conscience in smb., not a word of

blame, not to impose anything on children, to encourage inner development, to give children a choice, to heighten smb.'s self-confi-

dence, a beneficial and corrective influence on smb., to leave a decision to the child, to teach smb. manners.

8. Children's reaction: to live up to smb.'s expectation, to do smth. on purpose, to have admonitions and warnings, to be encour-

aged to ask questions, to be curious and inquisitive, to learn by imitation, to feel part of the family, to hate questions which try to trap,

to be pushed into making up lies, to choose between telling a lie or giving embarrassing answers, to appreciate smth, to be- coifte full

of resentment, to become a nuisance (resentful, spiritless, delinquent).

1. Read the text for obtaining its information.

Parents are Too Permissive with Their Children Nowadays

Few people would defend the Victorian attitude to children, but if you were a parent in those days, at least you knew where you

stood: children were to be seen and not heard. Freud and company did away with all that and parents have been bewildered ever

since.

... The child's happiness is all-important, the psychologists say, but what about the parents' happiness? Parents suffer constantly

from fear and guilt while their children gaily romp about pulling the place apart. A good old-fashioned spanking is out of the

question: no modern child-rearing manual would permit such barbarity. The trouble is you are not allowed even to shout ... Certainly

a child needs love ... and a lot of it. But the excessive permissiveness of modern parents is surely doing more harm than good.

Psychologists have succeeded in undermining parents' confidence in their own authority. And it hasn't taken children long to get

wind of the fact. In addition to the great modern classics on child care, there are countless articles in magazines and newspapers.

With so much unsolicited advice flying about, mum and dad just don't know what to do any more. In the end, they do nothing at all.

So, from early childhood, the kids are in charge and parents' lives are regulated according to the needs of their offspring. When the

little dears develop into teenagers, they take complete control. Lax authority over the years makes adolescent rebellion against

parents all the more violent. If the young people are going to have a party, for instance, parents are asked to leave the house. Their

presence merely spoils the fun. What else can the poor parents do but obey?

Children are hardy creatures (far hardier than the psychologists would have us believe) and most of them survive the harmful

influence of extreme permissiveness which is the normal condition in the modern household. But a great many do not. The spread of

juvenile delinquency in our own age is largely due to parental laxity. Mother, believing that little Johnny can look after himself, is not

at home when he returns from school, so little Johnny roams the streets. The dividing line between permissiveness and sheer negli-

gence is very fine indeed.

The psychologists have much to answer. They should keep their mouths shut and let parents get on with the job. And if children

are knocked about a little bit in the process, it may not really matter too much ... Perhaps, there's some truth in the idea that children

who've had a surfeit of happiness in their childhood emerge like stodgy puddings and fail to make a success of life.

1. Answer the following questions:

1. What are modern psychological ideas in the field of bringing up children? 2. Why do you think the author of the text rejects

them? 3. The author regrets the fact that parents are not allowed "even to shout". Do you think that shouting can lead to understanding

and is good when speaking with children? Would you say that anger does nothing but harm? Give reasons for your answer. 4. What's

your attitude towards "good old-fashioned spanking" and physical punishment in general? Don't you regard it as the line of least

resistance which is resorted to when a parent is just too exhausted to think of better ways if dealing with a child? 5. What is the result

of the undermined parents' confidence in their own authority according to the author's point of view? 6. Do you think doing nothing

with children is the best solution? 7. To what results can lax authority lead? 8. Do you think that children should always obey their

parents? What about parents obeying their children to make them happy? 9. Would you agree with the author that extreme

permissiveness is harmful for children and can result in negative development? 10. Two extremes discussed in the text do not seem to

produce good effect. What do you think is important in order to have normal relations between parents and children? Is tolerance

necessary?

2. Find in the text the arguments the author gives to illustrate the following:

1. impossibility to defend Victorian attitude to children; 2. parents' sufferings due to undermined confidence in authority; 3.

harmful effect of excessive parents' permissiveness; 4. parents' decision to regulate lives according to children's needs; 5. parental

laxity— dividing line between permissiveness and negligence; 6. people to blame.

3. Try and preserve the wording of the original. Add your arguments as well.

4.Summarize the text in four paragraphs showing that love and care so important in the process of bringing up children is not the same as

permissiveness anci negligence.

5.Use the Topical Vocabulary in answering the questions:

,1. What is done in this country to make the child a responsible person? 2. What are the basic patterns of upbringing, both within

the family and in collective situations? What roles do parents, school and age-segregated groups play in bringing up children? 4.

What is the role of mother and father in a modern family? 5. Is a young mother more eager than previous generations to enroll her

child in nursery? Why? 6. Do you consider grandparents and their influence important in the process of upbringing? 7. How does the

regular school using the well-proven techniques of collective upbringing care for the individual needs of a child? 8. What is more

important in the process of upbringing school (teachers, collective) or home (parents) background? 9. What home atmosphere encour-

ages a child's development? 10. What are the best ways, in your opinion, to praise and punish a child? 11. Do you think child-care

books necessary for young parents? What else can be helpful?

6.What solution can you offer for the following problems?

1. "To the average child his parents are kill-joys. They are always saying "No". No getting dirty, no jumping on the sofa, no

running around naked, no hitting the little sister."

2. "Much more than a direct rebuke, sarcasm infuriates children. It makes them completely irrational and they direct all their

energies to planning counter-attacks. They will be completely preoccupied with revenge fantasies. Sarcasm not only serves to deflate

a child's standing in his own eyes but in the eyes of his friends as well."

3. "I don't like James to play with Paul next door. Paul uses very bad language, and James will pick it up. But Paul is James's best

friend and he sneaks out and sees him very often. So I lock him up in the bathroom as a punishment. Sometimes I deliberately don't