“So are you coming with us?” I asked her.

She nodded. “I know mine isn’t as useful, but I think being there, offering support for the faith, will be more of a help than a hindrance at least.”

I regarded her for a moment, weighing the words I wanted to ask. My suspicions had been growing, but I wondered if she’d even admit it to me, given that Rokath and I shared a deep mental connection. I risked it anyway.

“And so you can stay close to Rapp?”

Her cheeks flamed. She grabbed the water pitcher and poured herself a glass, keeping her attention firmly on her task. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I think you do.”

She took a long drag, staring pointedly at the water when she spoke again. “He’s been helping me get over…” Her words fractured, but I didn’t need them to know what she meant.

Without hesitation, I rounded the desk and dragged the second chair closer to hers. This wasn’t a moment for distance, not with how she’d been struggling. Gently, I lifted the drink and set it to the side. A small sob wracked her lithe frame, and I pulled her into my chest and held her there. She had been so strong in front of Rokath and Xannirin, not wanting either of them to worry about her, and my heart ached for her suffering.

We both knew how horrific it was to be overpowered by a male and forced to do things against our will. We understood how nothing was quite the same after. The shame of not being powerful enough to do more to stop it.

“Rapp is a good one,” I choked out through a throat thick with emotion.

“He really is,” Kiira hiccuped. I stroked her silky hair, soothing what agony I could. Imbuing her with safety and support. She was protected here with me. Here with Rapp. Here with all of us.

“Why don’t we go get some fresh air? Take the dogs down to the beach?” I prodded. A change of scenery and the soothing sounds of the ocean would unburden her. I’d snuck away on more than one occasion for just that when it all got too overwhelming.

“I’d love that,” she said, straightening and drying her eyes.

“Wine?” I grinned, striding to a nearby cabinet. Hidden behind some leather bound books was a variety of alcohol. Because as much as Rokath loved his rules, we were always the exception.

“You know me too well.” She let out a watery laugh.

I grabbed a bottle of red, then some toys for Grem and Zeec. The snoozing hounds leaped to their feet upon seeing them in my hand. “Do you need a cloak?” She wasn’t exactly wearing the best attire for an outdoor adventure. Nor was I, clad only in leather pants and a heavy sweater. My jacket certainly wouldn’t be enough with how the wind howled today.

“I’ll run to my rooms and change. Meet you past the gates in ten?” she suggested, rising and smoothing out her skirts.

“Done.”

The walk to the beach was a pleasant one, especially once the sun emerged from behind the clouds. We took turns throwing the ropes for Grem and Zeec, laughing as they misjudged the trajectory, their teeth snapping around nothing but air. I wasn’t sure if they were truly off their game or if they sensed the heaviness clinging to Kiira and wanted to cheer her up.

I suspected the latter, especially as Zeec continued to careen into her, bearing the slobber-soaked toy.

Yet when we reached the tunnel that led down to the beach, the hounds dropped their ropes and bounded forward, nails skittering against the slick rocks. I laughed and shook my head, grasping the makeshift bannister to steady my descent. I’d have to bathe them both this evening after they plunged in the frigid water—because no matter the temperature, that was the first item on their agenda. Last time, Grem had gotten seaweed stuck so deep in his fur it had taken me half an hour to untangle the mess. I had nearly missed dinner because of it.

“Wait!” I shouted at both of them as I hit the sand. The dogs were only a leaping bound from the water’s edge. Per usual, they ignored me and dove the spray anyway.

“Great,” I muttered.

Beside me, Kiira huffed a laugh. She wrapped the edges of her cloak tighter around herself as a breeze swept over us. “It’s a good thing they have long fur. I wouldn’t dare touch the water this time of year.”

I slipped off my boots, leaving them at the entrance to the tunnel. The sand between my toes was a welcome change. I wiggled them into it, letting out a sigh. Then, I tipped my head toward the sun.

Zeec barked, drawing my attention forward again. He panted, water dripping off him, and looked pointedly at their toys waiting for them on the beach.

“Fine,” I told him, then heaved one toward the water. He barked again as he raced to catch it.

Grem burst from the deep blue ocean and beat him to it. Kiira and I walked along the shore in silence for a few moments, listening to the echo of the waves. Once we reached a suitable spot, we plopped into the sand. Kiira uncorked the bottle, then pulled straight from the neck before handing it to me.

I took a long drink. The wine tasted like berries and chocolate with an undercurrent of bitterness that I thoroughly enjoyed. Licking the last drop from my lips, I snatched my opportunity to ask her about my suspicions. “I’ve seen the way Rapp looks at you.”

My words came out more as a statement and less a question.

She took the bottle back from me, staring out over the waves like she was trying to see to the next continent. “We’ve been friends for centuries. I don’t know. When I started tending to him after we arrived, and when I told him about Ollmund…”

At that moment, the hounds trotted up, Zeec having finally won the game of tug they’d been playing. He plopped the wet rope at Kiira’s feet. She made a face as she picked it up and threw it for them again.

“So gross,” she commented as they raced away.

“It really is,” I laughed. We lingered in silence for a moment before I said, “You can talk to me, Kiira.”

She glanced around us, like she was ensuring we were still alone. “I can’t, though.”

I cocked my head to the side. “Because of Rokath?”

“Yes,” she whispered. “I don’t want him finding out. And with your bond…”

“I can keep this from him. What are our tattoos for if not to show that we will always stick together?” I teased, hoping my ease would bring some to her as well.

“Something like that,” she half-grinned, some of the tension in the corners of her eyes relenting. A long exhale followed. “You promise not to tell him?”

I knocked my shoulder into hers. “On my life,” I swore, seriousness threading my tone.

Kiira tipped the wine to her lips again. “I think I’m falling for him too,” she admitted, her voice barely audible over the sound of the ocean. She handed the bottle to me, and I took another drink, savoring the taste of it on my tongue.

She swept her long hair over her shoulder and fiddled with the ends of it. “When I saw the wound across his chest…I don’t know, something inside me snapped. I couldn’t walk away when he was barely able to move about, you know? And watching him struggle to breathe that first night. It was more than an obligation…it was need. It was desire. I’ve spent so long putting others before myself, this just felt more right than anything else has in centuries.”

“I get that,” I told her. “Sometimes when we’re being selfless, it’s still for a selfish reason.” Like part of my intention when I wanted females to be in the army too.

“Exactly,” she breathed.

Grem and Zeec returned, and they had the audacity to shake out their fur right in front of us. Salty, wet dog spray coated us despite throwing our hands up and leaning back in a desperate attempt to avoid it. “Great, now we’ll smell too,” I groaned. I snatched their toy and threw it away again before it could get any worse.