“He wants to fuck you, Delilah.”

Denial is quick to rise, and I sputter. “No way. He sees me as a little sister. That’s it.”

“He does see you as someone precious, but he also wants to fuck you. He’s conflicted because you’re his foster sister. All you have to do is give him the slightest provocation, and he’ll fucking take it.”

“Are you talking from experience?”

“You’re my obsession,” he says, ignoring my question. “When it comes to you, I’m the furthest from immune.”

I stare at him, not sure what to make of that. He’s not making any sense. But that hasn’t stopped my heart from stuttering in my chest.

“I know for a fact that Ben feels the same way I do,” I say.

Xavier gives me an exasperated look. “He’s wanted to fuck you for three years. Maybe even longer. Trust me, he’ll take any chance he can to get close to you. Why do you think he chased you in the woods? He wanted you to be his bride, not mine.”

I scrutinize Xavier’s face, searching for lies, but there’s nothing. Nothing except a truth I’m not ready to accept.

“You’re wrong, and I’ll prove it to you,” Xavier says. “Has Benjamin ever touched you for longer than necessary under the guise of affection?”

“I—”

“Has he ever looked at you with longing and you mistook it for platonic love?”

“Wait.”

“Tell me, did he ever say something that could’ve held an underlying message?”

My stomach drops. I want to tell Xavier to go fuck himself, but his words have provoked my memory bank. Images from the past flit before my eyes of me and Ben.

The look in his eyes the night before he left for college. The way he said he wanted to kill Frank for me... I should have noticed sooner.

“No.” The denial holds no power. I shake my head as though it’ll clear my mind of the uncertainty plaguing me. “This isn’t how things are between us.”

“One final question. I know he sees you as something more, but do you see him as a brother?”

I clamp my lips, refusing to answer.

With his free hand, Xavier takes a strand of my hair and twists it around his finger. “A man who is in love with you, a man who has been a brother figure, or a man who is a member of the Order... which do you see?”

My chest rises and falls with every shallow breath. “Ben is my brother.”

“Is he, little raptor?” Xavier’s hand stills as if he’s desperate for my answer. “Don’t lie to me. Not about this.”

“Yes.” I glare at him. “I’ve never looked at Ben like that.”

“I love the way you look at me.” He releases his hold on my neck and strokes his finger along the bottom of my lip. “Like you want to kill me, but you want to fuck me as well.”

I don’t say anything. There are a million questions bouncing around in my head, but I can’t form a single word with Xavier gazing at me with hunger in his eyes. After being ignored and rejected by guys throughout high school, his attention is unnerving and exhilarating.

I’m addicted to the feeling of being wanted, something I never felt this intensely before. Even with Ben.

“He’s my brother,” I whisper. It’s the only bit of truth I’m willing to recognize. Everything else has major implications that’ll come with change. I don’t want to lose my relationship with Ben.

“He doesn’t see you in the same way.”

“I…” I close my mouth, unable to convince myself that Xavier’s wrong.

He drags his lips along my jaw. “He’ll fight me for you. And he’ll lose. I won’t hesitate to get rid of him.”

“Don’t hurt him.” When Xavier doesn’t readily agree, I lean back and squint at him. “Promise me?”

He presses his mouth to mine, stealing the rest of my plea. It’s a soft kiss, meant to comfort. And to remind me I’m his.

The gesture is too tender to be from a killer. My body remains stiff with reluctance as he coaxes me with every sweep of his lips and every caress to my skin. When I don’t give in, he cups the side of my face and angles my head to trace the seam of my mouth with his tongue.

I’m torn between fighting Xavier and losing myself in him.

“Promise me,” I repeat against his lips.

“That’s not a vow I’m willing to take, not if it keeps me from you.”

“If you hurt him, I’ll never forgive you.”

Xavier’s gaze hardens, a mixture of frustration and anger flitting across his face. He leans back as if my words have physically struck him.

“I see,” he says, his voice a whisper swallowed by the tension in the room. “I promise not to hurt him… unless your life is at stake.”

The heat of the moment dissipates as quickly as it arrived, replaced with a cold, stark reality. Xavier would kill someone I love to keep me alive. I could never choose myself over Ben, but Xavier would. Without hesitation.

“Okay,” I say.

My stomach knots as my voice hits the air. Deep down, I recognize I’ve pushed Xavier to his limit. His compromise in this situation might be the only security I can cling to.

The complexity of our relationship, bound by a contract but initiated years ago, is something I’m struggling to navigate. However, I can move forward knowing Ben is relatively safe from Xavier’s wrath.

As long as I don’t provoke it.

OceanofPDF.com

Chapter 36DELILAH

The bathroom door opens with a click, and Xavier steps out, his hair still damp. The black T-shirt fits him perfectly, the material clinging to his muscled chest and shoulders. His black cargo pants are loose and hang low on his hips, and the belt is cinched in place.

My mouth goes dry. It’s unfair how effortlessly attractive he is.

“See something you like, bride?” he asks, his lips twitching.

I lift my gaze to his and my cheeks heat. “Shut up.”

He stalks toward me, the amusement fading. In a blink, he’s in front of me, and I have no choice but to lean back. Xavier grabs the back of my head, his fingers threading in my hair.

“Careful, or I’ll fuck you goodbye instead of kiss you.”

“You said you wouldn’t rape me.”

“You can’t rape the willing.”

I gape at him. He chuckles and the sound vibrates through me, sending tingles up my spine. Then his mouth is on mine, his lips moving gently, as if he’s savoring me.

When he pulls back, I open my eyes, expecting to find him wearing his usual smug expression. Instead, he gazes down at me, his eyes swirling with desire.

Abruptly, he turns away from me, his movements deliberate as he begins to pack his belongings scattered around the room. A set of clothes, medical supplies, and weapons. A lot of them. Guns and knives of all shapes and sizes, plus ammunition.

Each item he places into his bag feels like a brick in the wall he’s building between us, a barrier made of silence and unanswered questions. As much as I want to know where he’s going and what a summons means, I don’t ask. Even if he did tell me, I’m not sure I could handle the truth.

Finally, he zips his bag closed and stands, his posture rigid. When he faces me, his face is covered in a mask. Not a physical one, but an emotional one void of everything except determination and focus.

“Let’s go,” he says. “Grab your stuff.”

He juts his chin at a table that sits in front of a window. I walk over and collect my jacket, my silver dress, and my shoes. After checking my phone, I return it to my coat pocket, resigning myself to dealing with the missed calls and texts from Raven when I’m caffeinated.

I follow Xavier into the hall. He stops just outside the door and presses several buttons before turning to look at me.

“Place your hand on the pad. It’ll scan your handprint and give you access to my room. That way, you can stay here while I’m gone. No one is allowed in there except you. Do you understand?”

With a nod, I do as he says. The keypad lights up, going from yellow to green. Xavier looks at me and takes my hand.