He stared at them as if he didn’t know what they were and he was no longer human. His thoughts trapped within whatever prison he’d wrapped himself in.

I waited. I stayed.

Finally, he reached out and flinched as our skin kissed, his fingers on my palm, taking the offered painkillers. With a tight jaw and tighter muscles, he tossed them into his mouth and reached for the glass.

His throat worked fast, gulping back the liquid before slamming the glass down and standing. “Thank you. I’ll walk you out.”

I stood too, feeling far too small and weak on the couch with him towering over me. I sucked in a breath, ready to fight for what I wanted. “I won’t ask what happened out there, not again. But I am going to ask if you’re in trouble.”

His eyes narrowed. “The only trouble I’m in is because you refuse to obey me.”

“Is it because he thinks we’re together?”

He flinched. “No.”

That was a yes.

“Are you with someone else? Does he think he can beat you up because you’re betraying—”

“No.” He raked a hand through his hair. “This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me.” His head bowed. “I just need you to go. I need you to go and never come back.”

“Come with me. We’ll go to my apartment and I’ll—”

“Olin.” His snap glued my lips together, embarrassed heat glowed in my heart. “Our past means nothing, okay? Walk away.”

“How can I when I know something isn’t right?”

“Because I don’t want you here.”

Rejection prickled along my spine and over my scalp. “You never used to enjoy hurting me, Gil. Now, you’re an expert at it.”

The blackest shadow swallowed his features, as if he’d been sucked into another dimension where only horrors lived, seeing things I couldn’t, surviving things I feared.

He balled his hands, fury unfurling. “Maybe you’re having trouble remembering our past correctly. Fine, I’ll help with your memory, seeing as you think I’ve lost my manners.”

Winter well and truly welcomed him back, his voice pure frost. “I was a master at hurting you. I hurt you all the goddamn time. I made you fall in love with me, only to dump you in that classroom. I made you believe we had a future, only to walk away without a goodbye.”

The frost melted, his voice sounding strange, strangled. With a remorseful glare, he forced relentless malice into the tone. “I didn’t want you then, and I don’t want you now. You’re embarrassing yourself, Olin. Chasing after a man who has no intention of ever being with you again.”

A tear escaped my control, rolling over my eyelash and gliding down my cheek. “Thank you for reminding me, Gil, of your perfect indifference toward me.” I arched my chin, hugging myself. “But allow me to do the same. For years, I told myself the same thing. I went over and over what happened between us because there were no signs that you hated me until that day. No hints that I annoyed you. No instincts that you were only toying with my heart. You’re right though, I am embarrassing myself. I’m doing exactly what I promised I’d never do if we ever saw each other again. I’m making a fool out of myself trying to make you remember just how perfect we were for each other.”

Swiping at another lonely tear, I shivered with anger as well as grief. “But it wasn’t me who ruined it this time, Gil. I would’ve stayed away after you’d painted me, resigned to losing you seven years ago and strong enough to move on with my life, seeing as you made it abundantly clear you’d moved on with yours. But, here’s the thing...” I moved toward him, standing on my tiptoes so we were almost eye-to-eye. “Then you went and kissed me and the lies fell apart.”

He sucked in a haggard breath. “That kiss meant nothing.”

“That kiss meant everything.”

“Get away from me.”

Electricity crackled. Chemistry hissed.

“Why did you pay me triple the amount you normally pay canvases?”

“What?” He bared his teeth. “I don’t know what—”

“You kissed me and paid me far too much money.” My gaze locked onto his mouth. “Why?”

“You’re driving me insane.”

“Answer me.”

His eyes flashed emerald. “Leave.” His nose brushed mine as he bent, forcing the command into my lungs.

I snapped.

My arms swooped up, wrapping like vines around his neck. I yanked him into me, uncaring of his injuries.

He grunted as my lips slammed onto his.

I kissed him as hotly and as fiercely as he’d kissed me. I let him taste the difference between desire and lies. I let him sample my heart all over again.

He broke his tightly reined leash.

His fingers dove into my hair, tangling and knotting, jerking my head back to plunge his tongue past my teeth.

My legs buckled, but it didn’t matter. He scooped me into his arms, squeezing me against him, plastering us together as if he could never bear to be apart.

A savage snarl echoed in his mouth as he kissed me so, so hard.

I forgot about my headache, about this afternoon, about him leaving, vanishing, our jilted love story.

I kissed him with apologies and promises. I opened wide and gave him everything.

And he took.

Ruthlessly and with no finesse, he kissed me as if we were teenagers again, possessed by hormones, in love with the idea of forever.

His head tilted, kissing my mouth, my jaw, back to my mouth. His tongue was a spear, conquering inside me—forcing me to yield to his complicated desire.

I gave in. I wanted him to—

“Fuck!” He roared like a beast, ripping himself away.

I tripped at the sudden emptiness of my arms, wincing at the licking lust that’d turned into a snake inside my belly, devouring every butterfly, sinking venomous fangs into every hope.

He stumbled away as if he had to put distance between us in case he did something unforgivable.

Touching burning lips, I was breathless around tattered heartbeats. “Gil.”

He didn’t reply, tripping his way into the kitchen and gripping the countertop with both hands. White knuckles and braced legs, his head hung between his shoulders as if bowing at the feet of whatever demon who’d trapped him.

I wanted to go to him.

I wanted to hug him, help him, heal him, but...that kiss had ripped out my insides. I was seconds away from bursting into tears. I was lost and hurting, and if I touched him now, I didn’t know what would happen.

Didn’t know if we’d find our way back together or if I’d break everything.

I didn’t want to take that chance.

I wasn’t brave enough to take that chance.

With tears blinding me, I bolted from his lounge, through his office, and into the warehouse. With jerky steps, I fast-tracked to my handbag, grabbed my phone and winced as the envelope of cash cut my finger.

He’d looked horrified that I’d figured out he’d paid me too much. Guilty for paying me for a kiss.

Well, I’d stolen a kiss this time.

We were even.

Placing the envelope on the painting table where his air compressor and paint vials lived, I looked over my shoulder.

Part of me begged him to chase after me. To have vindication that this blinding connection was real. But as my heartbeats grew wilder instead of calm, and my body shook from everything that’d happened, Gil didn’t appear.

He didn’t chase.

He let me run.

He wanted me to leave.

I’ll come back.

I nodded to my promise.

I’ll come back...when I’m strong enough.

When I had the power to break Gil into admitting the truth.

When I had the courage to ask him to keep me.

I had nothing.

I had no dance. No family. No friends.

Once upon a time, I’d had Gil.

And I would fight with everything I had to have him again.

Keep him safe.

With shallow breaths, I slung my handbag onto my shoulder and unlocked my phone.