I blow out a breath. “I mean, that’s the obvious answer. They had both gotten remarried at this point, and don’t get me wrong, I was happy that they were happy. I still am. But I just…” I look down at my lap, wringing my hands together. “I just never understood it, I guess. Even after coming to terms with everything, a part of me never understood how two people who worked so perfectly as a unit couldn’t love each other the way I thought they did.”

“And you thought going into divorce law would help you understand?”

“I guess I thought if I experienced enough couples meeting the end of their marriage, that maybe I could finally make peace with why my parents had to.”

“And did you?”

“I…think so. I know it’s ridiculous to be so hung up over it after so long. Especially when they’re both so happy.”

“Your entire world got turned upside down,” he says soothingly. “It’s not unreasonable that it would affect you.”

“I haven’t talked to anyone about this,” I confess. “Not since Grant. I think maybe…I think that’s why it fucked me up so badly when he left. He knew everything. He knew all my hang-ups and all the secret parts of myself I tried to keep hidden, and when he left, it felt like maybe it was because I wasn’t enough. Then I spent a long time wondering if I stole a part of his life too.”

“Fuck that,” Ezra balks. “He was a prick who chose his job over you. He didn’t deserve you.”

“I don’t know if that’s true.”

“I do,” he stresses, his fingers pressing under my chin to force me to look at him. “Look at me.” And I am looking at him, getting lost in his green eyes, just like I’ve always been afraid of doing. “If he couldn’t stay for you, then he didn’t fucking deserve you. Understand? Because you’re worth staying for, Dani.”

There’s a lump in my throat that makes it hard to speak, so I just nod slowly, not even sure what I would say to that anyway. He saves me from the need to when he leans in to cover my mouth with his in a gentle but firm kiss. He takes his time with it, like he’s not in any hurry to make it become something more, and miraculously, I like this slow change of pace. If I’m being honest with myself, I’ve liked everything about this evening that is so different from any other one we’ve shared.

“You want to watch a movie?” he murmurs when he pulls away.

I quirk a brow. “Really?”

“Why not? It’s called decompressing. I hear it’s a thing people do.”

“Oh, you mean bringing your work home and stressing about it until you pass out isn’t the normal way of things?”

“It’s an option, but there are always other avenues to explore.”

“Are you an expert on the subject?”

“No, but I’d like to be an expert on you, eventually.”

My lips part in shock, his casual line actually leaving me speechless for a breath until I collect myself. “You really think you’re smooth, don’t you.”

“Mm.” He drops another kiss to the tip of my nose. “I know I’m smooth, baby.”

He untangles himself to go after my remote, taking my wineglass from the coffee table and offering to refill it before he tells me to pick out a movie for his decompression session, as he is now referring to it.

Scrolling through titles, it hits me how domestic this all feels. Months ago, the thought of spending an evening like this with Ezra fucking Hart would have made me laugh. Now I’m afraid of how much I might begin to crave it, how simply I could slip into a familiarity of this easy time with him.

And that might be the most terrifying thing about any of this.

OceanofPDF.com

Twenty-Four

The next few weeks do go remarkably well.

We have had several sessions in court since that night at my apartment, and while I kept expecting them to feel strange, separating work from home came surprisingly easy.

We spent one session arguing with each other about a particular piece of shared property that neither Lorenzo or Bianca had wanted to concede on, and then later that night, Ezra came over to my place with Chinese food to watch Patch Adams. He’d said it was imperative that I watch after admitting that I’d never seen it.

Another session saw us getting heated over Ezra’s jabs at Bianca’s spending habits over the years; he made several implications about her lifestyle, implying some sort of greed factor there, and by the end of it, Judge Harding was threatening to separate us. But then later at his apartment, we were laughing over Ezra’s brief obsession with a foreign brand of vitamin water that he’d had delivered to his place by the case until he was so sick of the taste of coconut that he almost hurled at his mother’s birthday party because they’d served a German chocolate cake.

It’s been strange but exhilarating getting to know Ezra, and the more I learn about him, the more I wonder how I ever thought I stood a chance of keeping my distance (outside of the physical, that is). Sure, he’s still an intolerable asshole most of the time, but beyond that, he’s charming, funny, and surprisingly loyal.

Maybe that’s why I’m so messed up today.

Today’s session had started like any other, but for some reason, when Ezra began grilling his witness—a petite woman who had been a longtime friend of Bianca’s—about any potential motive Bianca might have to ruin her husband, I’d been unable to keep things separate.

I think that it wounded me a little, watching Ezra defend Lorenzo’s character like that. Maybe it’s because deep down, I’m fairly certain that Ezra knows what a piece of shit Lorenzo is, and still he’s trying to rob Bianca of well-deserved retribution on his behalf.

Which, I’m aware, is a grossly unfair line of thinking. That at the end of the day, Ezra is doing his job, and what’s more, there’s a good chance that he hates having to defend Lorenzo. He hasn’t said as much directly; it would be highly unethical if he did, but still, I can sense it, I think.

So why am I sulking about it in my office after hours?

Ezra has texted me a few times after court let out, and normally we would have been at one of each other’s places by now, but I haven’t been able to bring myself to answer him tonight. Not when I have all these conflicting feelings.

I thumb through financial documents, making notes that seem relevant; Ezra will finally be calling Bianca to the stand the next time we are in court, and I want to be prepared for the inevitable question about the first time she filed for divorce. I’ve already worked out a relatively solid redirect, but as I’m all too aware when it comes to Ezra, you can never be too prepared.

Something that is made overly evident when the person in question knocks on my office door.

I startle when he pokes his head through the unlocked door after opening it; I want to be surprised, but honestly, knowing Ezra’s tenacity the way I do, I’m really not.

“How did you get in?”

“Bribed the security guard,” he says with a grin. “You really should pay that guy more.”

“I have it on good authority that Larry is excellent at his job.”

“Oh, he really is,” Ezra admits. “Actually, I told him that you were expecting me, and that I had some documents to drop off. I guess I’m just too charming to question.”

“You’re too something,” I scoff.

Ezra steps inside, closing the door behind him. I hear the soft snick of the lock, peeking up at him in question as he moves deeper into the room.