I am helplessly drawn to him.

To his cruel honesty. To his blunt demands. I like the iron boundaries he builds around himself because I love that he lets me peer through the cracks every now and then.

It is like seeing inside a mystery.

She pulls me from my thoughts. “He comes to me every night that the lords visit The Estate. Sometimes, he talks to me after the act. About all kinds of secrets. He knows they won’t travel far, because who would I tell, and who would even believe me if I did?”

“They are not meant to talk to you. Ever. Not during your Purpose or in the light-hours. What if you recognise his voice?” Iris says. She has finished her studies. She can probably recite the contents word for word. If she’d only share some of it with me, maybe I wouldn’t ask any more ignorant questions.

Lord Darwin spoke to me…

Maybe because he never intended on picking me, so voice recognition or not, it would never be a problem.

“Besides Sire’s occasional orders, none of the lords have ever spoken to me,” Daisy muses, looking at her meal. “I am thankful. I do not wish to know them outside of my Purpose. It would confuse me.”

Ana looks at Iris. “You would be surprised how much you rely on sight to give you information. I feel lost in the dark. Anyway, I’ve never spoken to a lord outside of my room either, so I cannot recognise anything… And his touch and voice become one at night.” She lowers her voice. “We are in love.”

“You're not,” Daisy says, lifting her hand to soothe Ana’s back, concerned. “Don't talk like that. You’ll get hurt.”

“Fur talk like that,” Iris spits out.

I snap my eyes to her, narrowing her to a tiny target in my vision. I should warn them about you.

"Love is not such a bad thing,” Blossom offers, placing her spoon in an empty bowl.

"It’s not a virtue.” Iris darts her gaze around the table, trying to pull in an ally. She doesn’t get one. “It's dangerous."

"He will let you go,” Daisy says, gentle but firm. “You will leave The Estate when you stop birthing, but he will stay. And he will continue with a new Silk Girl or be pleasured by the House Girls."

Blossom shrugs. "Nothing lasts forever. She can enjoy it while it lasts. That’s not unseemly."

I look at her. "What does that mean?"

Blossom glances across at me. "Nothing lasts forever? Well, she is a Silk Girl today and in love. Then she’ll be a Sired Mother, and she'll have the love of the babies. She will be fine in both places.”

Oh. I see.

"Love is such a Common issue.” Iris turns her nose up and takes a sip of juice, as though to swallow the conversation. “It's simply parasitic."

Suddenly, a blur of white catches my eyes.

I glance out the long, sweeping window that exposes the large courtyard surrounded by high limestone walls.

Through the thick glass, a girl drops backward to the lawn as though she passes out. A man thunders over, Kong, I recognise him, and he drops to check on her.

Wow, he got to her side fast…

He reaches for her cheek, but she flinches away. She looks like a tiny fairy, and he is her monstrous Guardian. Kong is a huge Xin De male, easily two feet taller and three times thicker than her. It dawns on me then, that must be what I look like beside the king.

Ana interrupts my thoughts when she addresses Iris with subtle disdain. “I’m in support of The Revive, Iris. So, if by Common, you mean Human, then yes⁠—"

"Who is that?” I interrupt, protecting Ana from oversharing her thoughts with Iris.

“Who?” Blossom turns around just as the girl waves Kong away, and lays still like a doll on the greenery. Her honey-brown hair arches like wings in the emerald mesh. “Oh, that’s the Queen."

No…

Tuscany?

The king’s sister?

Can’t be.

"How old is she?" My gaze rolls over her petite body, at her chest she clutches a small brown fluffy toy eagle.

Ana says, "She is in her late twenties, I believe. She was ten when she became Queen. So twenty-eight, maybe."

I cannot stop staring. "She looks no older than me."

"It’s the Xin De genus,” Ana offers, and I return my gaze to her kind face.

I know about this. Kong shows no signs of aging yet must have past his fiftieth year. Will I die of old age before the king even does?

Ana lifts one brow. “The treatments also help.”

"Treatments?" Iris asks.

"My lord told me,” Ana mentions, directly. “Men like to talk after the act, Iris. They don’t want a statue. She is given all these treatments to keep her looking youthful. She looks younger than us if you ask me.”

Iris straightens. “Treatments? Genetic engineering is completely illegal. You are either born with the genus or you don’t have it. That is it!”

Ana frowns. “I didn’t say anything about engineering, Iris. I said treatments.”

Daisy presses her hand to her chest, clearly unsettled, and whispers, “Can we stop talking about treatments and engineering, please?”

I sway the conversation a little. “She looks sad.” My heart aches looking at her, the thin shell of a girl—or woman.

"What could she be sad about?" Blossom asks.

"Why is she holding a doll?" Iris points out, the smallest hint of bitterness punches through her words. The only girl more precious than a pregnant Silk Girl is the queen.

"You cannot judge her because you don't know her or anything she's been through," I point out.

I stand up and walk to the door to the courtyard.

“You cannot go, Aster. Only speak when spoken to. She is the queen!” Daisy shoots up to stop me.

I lift my hand. “But if she is sad and no one is allowed to speak to her, then who will make her feel better?”

“The rules are there for a reason. You’re new. I am just trying to look after you,” Daisy says again, and Blossom and Ana both share glances.

“I’ll be fine.” I enter the courtyard and Paisley is immediately a wall in front of me.

"Where are you going? Aster, you can't go into the courtyard today. It is closed."

Wow, this poor girl is guarded like a bomb. I am not going to detonate her, nor detonate around her.

I swerve past Paisley and head toward the queen. Each step along the grass feels like a small achievement, but I ready myself to be tackled to the ground.

I see movement to my side; Kong is on guard, staring at me with his back to a nearby limestone wall.

Isn’t he the king’s Guardian?

Our eyes meet. Smiling with a silent plea, I keep going until I am standing beside the queen.

"May I lay with you?"

She looks up at me, staring through my existence, as if to determine whether I am real. I understand that look. It is the same one I had when I was in a three-day fever dream.

I look at her toy. “Who is that?” Lying beside her on the grass, I quietly mirror her position, back flat, legs slightly apart, hands resting on my torso.

"Rome,” she answers, with a soft, melodic cadence that dances in my ears. “He is always going away.” She pulls the teddy to her chest. “He leaves me here, and I miss him so."

Sad. I chew my lip. "I'm Aster."

"I know,” she sighs. “I'm supposed to have visited you. All of you. To welcome you to The Estate. But when I go places, smiles crumble, and you all have such lovely smiles."

My heart squeezes.

We lie in silence, and I watch the grey dome above us as it reaches into a dusty red distance, wondering what could have happened to her to make her so strangely unhappy.

I want to understand…

The light breeze sweeps over us, moving our hair in the grass, bringing with it floral notes from the garden and something else. Something from her.