Just breathe.

On my back, I blink ahead at the branches reaching in and out of the sky like green fingers scratching a cloudy, grey canvas. We are everything we aren’t meant to be, full of jealousy and bitterness.

Is this life?

I don’t want to look down, though I can feel the wetness between my legs, which means Iris broke skin. The sickening sensation makes my throat burn.

I hear my bird screech; the scent of my blood probably bothers him. No longer alone, I brave the sight. I push to a sitting position; fire explodes along my thighs, snatching a defiant whine from my throat.

I’m hurt.

Stabbed.

My white dress is destroyed, crimson-stained fabric muddied with dirt and purple sandules.

I push off the ground.

Absently, I toe the pond, a snake of blood rushing to meet the water, spreading out like dye. I blink at the water as though he can see the tiny molecules approaching him. “I have to get out of here.”

Without a second thought, I pin drop into the pond, instantly enveloped by watery arms. And it’s so quiet and still, for a moment I consider death. What it must feel like. Cold. Quiet. Weightless. Where do we go? To The Crust? What is The Crust? Is it a place or state of mind? Or are we just sown back into the dirt, food for the flowers. What about my thoughts? Where do they go?

My dress floats around me, dancing on the wings of fluid. I blink, focusing underwater—no stinging. No salt; it’s fresh water. I search but cannot see far, rocks and trees blocking the distant body of the pond.

What will you do?

I resurface with a gasp, and the warm air hisses along my skin. “I will say I fell in,” I chant the plan to an empty bank. “The wound will heal. I’ll pretend it never happened.”

You must go through it, Aster.

Go right through the adversities to the other side.

Meaningful Purpose awaits you.

Walking back into the quadrangle, dress and hair stuck to my body, dripping like a drowned beast, I keep my head high as the other girls turn and stare.

Their clothes are covered in purple. Their hair is tousled by excitement. Smiles are wide, then fall when they look at me.

While I’m an unusual sight, sure, that’s not the reason for the hostility. It’s muck-up day and no one likes me. So, being pushed into the pond is a reasonable assumption for my drenched state.

Low conversing suddenly invades me like buzzing bees, but I stride right through the chattering girls, straight toward my housing.

Vines strangle the sandstone buildings that surround the courtyard, thick green snakes that hunt for something long lost. Something natural. Air. Sun. Wind. Nothing is real in the Silk Aviary. The glass dome shields us from the Redwind, but the vines get so confused. Twisting themselves into knots in search of something more.

At the entrance to my personal chamber, I push inside. Leaning on the beautifully carved oak door, I decide quickly and quietly that today never happened. Nothing good can come from drawing attention to myself in here.

Moving fast, I hide the stained dress and my knickers in the mattress until I have time to clean them in the washroom. I bury the sensation of raw flesh, walking through the ache until I can bear each step.

I pace in the room, flexing my hands.

It’s fine.

I will be fine.

A single tear slides down my cheek.

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Chapter Three

Aster

Anyone around bullies enough, starts to develop a kind of harm gauge. A protective measure.

What will it be today?

Snide comments? A fistful of food thrown at my dress? A foot that slides out at the perfect moment and brings me to the floor? An elbow to the face?

What today, Iris?

In the weeks that followed that day at the pond, four Silk Girls from the house, including Lavender, were sent to placements across The Cradle to start their Meaningful Purpose.

It’s not meant to be sad, but they just leave.

And it makes me wonder…

What’s it like?

On the other side?

I may see them again when—or rather, if—we become Sired Mothers one day. We’ll be older then. Maybe time will change them. Maybe some of them will want to be friends.

And I’ll forgive them.

Feeling heat slide along my left cheek, I scan the quadrangle’s ancient brick and stone boundary walls to find Iris’s gaze setting my skin ablaze.

She is standing beside the Silk Wardeness.

Why does she hate me? Because she believes that I’m truly Fur Born? Is she that much of an elitist?

I stare back at her, reading the intent today.

My gauge shudders beneath the telling leer, until our Wardeness grabs her elbow and walks her… straight toward me?

I step backward a few paces before finding my spine, locking it into a defensive rod.

I stand still.

“Aster.” Wardeness stops in front of me, her fingers still clutching Iris’s elbow. “Show her what you have, Iris.”

I blink at Iris, and she pulls out my stained knickers from her satchel.

What the f-word?

“I don’t know what that is,” I say far too quickly. Most of the blood washed out in the pond, but the white fabric has splotches of pink, evident staining from something red.

“I think you do,” Wardeness presses.

“They are not mine,” I lie.

“They are. I would know. I got them for you.”

“I bled. I had my bleed. I was embarrassed. It was weeks ago. I forgot all about⁠—”

“You two take me for a fool,” she spits out. “I have seen the way you both behave toward each other.”

It’s really one-sided…

She purses her lips as though a lemon seeps juice below her tongue. “Like children,” she says. “Not like Silk Girls. You both have His mark. You will go to a lord or a member of The Guard. Maybe even to Kong if he ever decides it’s time. Iris, you’re the senior girl in this house until that happens. And Aster, you have such promise. Don’t let all that talent go to waste. And I will not be made a fool of. Do you hear me?”

“I don’t have any ill feelings toward—” Iris begins, but Wardeness isn’t accepting any lies today.

“Don’t fib to me.” She grabs the knickers from Iris. “Now. I don’t know why you hid your blood or why Iris was showing it off like a flagship to the other girls, but I know you two are at odds. Trade will, I hope you aren’t chosen for the same placement, but if you are, then you need to remember your vows. I will lock you both up and have you repeat them from first-light to last-light if I must.”

Fury bubbles inside me. “I don’t have a problem with Iris, Miss.” I stare at Iris, bored. “I couldn’t care less about her.”

Iris’s teeth clench behind her fake smile.

Wardeness pinches her brow between her fingertips. “Trade Help Me. Okay.” She lowers her hand, resolute, and stares at us; a strange expression moves across her aging face. “Tonight. Gosh, I have only ever done this once before. But you are both very desirable Silk Girls. I cannot have your foolish ways stop you from achieving Meaningful Purpose. It is too important. I care too much for you both. Tonight,” she begins, her voice lowering. “I will collect you from your rooms, and we will go for a night ride in the van. It will be only the three of us. And you must not tell the other girls.”

“Of course, Miss,” Iris coos. I can hear the bullshit in her voice, but so many believe her to be sweet.

Around us, girls drag their feet to eavesdrop. I don’t like the idea of going anywhere in the middle of the night with Iris, but foolish interest whispers between my ears.