I drop my head against the backrest and sigh. I believe that he truly thought they would be harmless. But how can I be with someone who attracts danger but can’t see it when it looks at him right in the face. “Well, you thought wrong, Roman.”

“Stop calling me that.”

“How many times do you have to hurt me before you lose the right to another name? You disappeared on me for three years, and so much has gone wrong since you’ve come back.”

He swallows. “No more matches, Bella. No more fights.” It’s not just a promise; he’s pleading with me. “I’ll say and do anything you want.”

I huff, because it sounds ridiculous to my own ears when I say, “I couldn’t care less about the fighting. As unhealthy as it is, it’s your release. What I care about is how I’m the one facing the consequences of your actions.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, Bella.”

I inhale sharply, staring straight ahead at the door to our room. “I know you didn’t want to cause me pain. But that doesn’t mean you wanted to help me. Or keep me sane.”

“Of course, I wanted to help you!” Roman taps his finger on the steering wheel. I can hear the cogs turning in his head. “You have to understand, unless I take him out, Vargas will keep coming. Look at what he did to you. That asshole can’t live, knowing that he made you bleed. He needs to die, Bella. They all do.”

I give up.

“Do whatever you want, Roman. You always do.”

He’s like a dog with a bone. If he smells his chance for vengeance, he’ll chase it down whatever road it leads. Even if it ends up killing him.

And me.

If I have learned how to care for myself, Roman can learn how to save himself.

From my periphery, I see him turn his entire body toward me. “No. No, don’t say that. That’s not fair. Everything I’ve done was for you. Everything I do is for you. You are the only one I think about. Am I impulsive? Yes. But I’m trying. I’m working on it. I swear. I’m doing this for us.”

“That’s not enough.” My stomach churns as my tongue rolls around each syllable. Roman Riviera was my everything once, and I never thought I’d want more. “And if you were really working on it, you wouldn’t entertain the idea of going after Vargas.”

“The fucker—”

I cut him off. “Unlock the door, Roman. This conversation is over.”

“We aren’t done.” His piercing stare heats the side of my face.

“It’s over.” I don’t deserve his kindness, and I don’t deserve this torment. I try the lock myself, and it opens. “Do whatever you want; I won’t try to stop you. Just remember that I gave you an out, and you chose not to take it.”

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Chapter 30

ROMAN

It’s silent.

I focus on the sound of her breathing to remind myself she’s alive and here—safe is another question entirely. It doesn’t matter what I say or how many times I say it, she doesn’t respond.

The only form of communication I’ve gotten from her is a scathing glare that could end a nuclear war when I slipped into the bathroom with her. But I barely noticed it. Or the wound on my arm that’s bleeding through the bandage. She can look at me however she wants because all I see is the patchwork of blue and red coloring her cheek. A chill strips another layer of warmth from me every time I see it.

I’m not letting her out of my sight for a second. From this day on, there will never be a moment where we aren’t breathing the same air. I’ll never make that type of fuck up again.

I’m tempted to step into the shower, carry Bella to the car and get as far away from Chicago as we can get. But first, we are in a silent agreement that she needs to wash that fucker’s scent off her.

Just thinking about that asshole’s face makes my blood boil.

Vargas.

I can’t believe I was so stupid. The warning signs were right there, and I ignored them. I can’t for the life of me think of excuses for why I did. I’ll never forgive myself because Bella has paid the price for it.

Vargas needs to be taken out, but I won’t do it at the expense of losing her.

The shower tap turns off, and the curtain opens, showing off her naked body, dripping in water and steam. She doesn’t acknowledge me when she steps out of the shower, wrapping a towel around her body.

“Bella,” I say, standing from the seat.

She passes me without a second glance.

Fuck.

“Please, talk to me.”

She doesn’t, getting dressed in a new change of clothes as if she’s decided we’re leaving the city tonight.

I sigh at her back. “Damien will be here in ten minutes to drop off our IDs.”

Nothing. No response.

“Bella, I love you,” I whisper, reaching for her chin while holding a bag of ice. “Please, just look at me.”

Without turning, she elbows me in the jaw when I touch her. I let her hit me. I’d let her kick me and punch me all she likes. I deserve it for putting that bruise on her face. I don’t let her move far away from me. After several careful maneuvers on my part, and several hits on hers, I manage to get her on my lap until her wiggling stops.

She winces every time the bag of ice moves on her face, and I feel every flinch like her pain is my own. I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to her—making everything I’ve ever done wrong up to her.

My heart sinks below the earth when her stare grows blank, as if she found a spot within her consciousness to disappear into where I can’t follow her. I hold her tighter, both wanting her grounded back with me and wanting her safe, wherever her head is at.

I kiss her forehead and inhale her scent, rocking us slowly, which does nothing to make her relax. We stay like that until a knock on the door has Bella leaping to her feet and scurrying behind me. The guilt that hits me hurts like a motherfucking bitch.

A knock made her jump out of her skin. A single knock.

“It’s just Damien,” I assure Bella.

Her gaze bounces to mine, giving me a single, tense nod. I open the door and Damien holds out a brown paper package.

“It’s all there.” He nods behind me. “How is she?”

What the fuck do I say to that? It’s none of your business? She’d be alright if you actually watched her? She was scared of your knock because of how badly I fucked up?

“Fine,” I settle on.

“The rest of your cut is in there.”

We both stand in silence, then I ask, “Vargas?”

“I’ll deal with it,” he answers simply.

“How?”

He crosses his arms. “Word is they hijacked Alvarez’s shipment last week. Boss is waiting for proof before taking Vargas out.”

I raise a brow. They’ve been around, what? Three years, and they’re already going to be wiped off the map? What kind of idiot thinks he can steal from a cartel triple its size? Bella shouldn’t have been dragged into any of this shit.

“There’s a kid,” I start. “His name’s Jeremy. Lived with Bella.” I don’t need to explain any more than that. Even though it’s a closed adoption, Damien would be able to dig up information.

He nods. “He’s under our protection.” Damien gives me one last look. “Keep her safe,” he says before disappearing down the street.

I look inside the bag he handed me, ignoring the sour taste in my mouth. This is blood money. I’ve never had an issue with it before, but that was when the only blood on it was mine or another person willingly signing up for it. This has Bella’s blood on it now, too.

If we didn’t need the money and Bella didn’t go through hell just to get here, I would get rid of the cash without a second thought.

But this is us now, on the run from everyone and everything. As long as I have Bella, I don’t care where we go or what we do. She may not feel the same about that right now, but she will. She doesn’t have a choice.