“Thank you,” I whisper against his lips. “Thank you for waiting for me. Thank you for helping me see who I am.”

He kisses me with the weight of a thousand strikes of lightning. “Always, my love.”

“I’m ready.”

He frowns.

“I want you, Death. I want all of you. I see it now. I see the truth,” I say. He wipes the tears from my cheek, staring down at me intensely with his forehead resting against my own. “You were made for me, just as I was made for you. You complete me, Letum.” I kiss him to try and convey everything I’m saying so he knows without a sliver of doubt that I am telling the truth. “I give you my soul. For the rest of eternity, it is yours. Even in death, I am yours.”

He doesn’t say anything for a moment, and my heart falls to my feet. But the feeling is fleeting because he yearns for me just as much as I do for him.

The first drop of rain hits my cheeks, then more droplets splatter against our skin, soaking our clothes.

“You, my love, are like a storm, drowning the land with sorrow, shattering ships with your broken waves. Still, you look into the eye of the storm and see nothing but beauty.” He pulls my head to the side and dips down so his lips are against my ear. “Let me drown in your ocean and feel your rage. Let me feel your waves crash against my skin, pulling me deeper into your depths so you will never be alone again.” His thumb grazes my lip before he claims me completely with a kiss. “You are the sunrise after the storm. The new beginning and the dawn. You, my flower, are beauty personified.”

“I love you, Letum.” I’ve said it before, in a dream.

How it hurts to say those three words and not remember them when you wake. But I know them to be truer than my own name.

He smiles, and I try to capture the image in my mind to save it and look at it whenever I’d like. “Oh, my Lilith. I love you more than the moon longs for the sun.”

We stand like that, holding each other, memorizing the moment. “I’m ready,” I say once more.

“Are you sure? There is no going back.”

I nod and pull out of his touch to lower myself to the ground. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.

He gets down onto his knees next to me, and I give him a reassuring nod. The sky flashes with bright light, and a bolt of lightning torments the ground nearby. Thunder booms through the windy road and the surrounding trees.

When Death’s lips touch mine, every bit of pain I’ve ever held disappears. There’s no anger, no grief, no sorrow. Only the understanding that everything is the way it should be. Everything is washed away with the sea, and all that’s left is… contentment.

In that moment, everything that has happened in my life flashes before my eyes. Dahlia and I blowing out candles on our flower shaped birthday cake. Tripping as I walk onto the stage to receive my bachelors. Going shopping with mom to pick out clothes for my dream interview. Dad handing me the keys to my first car. Evan and I camped out in his car beside the river, eating unsavory amounts of cheese and crackers. All of those beautiful moments in time that never felt complete.

Not like it does now.

Letum helps me to my feet and entwines our fingers. I look down, and my own lifeless body gets trampled by the rain, but I feel nothing. Lightning strikes once more, illuminating my peaceful expression.

He cups my jaw and brings me to face him. “To eternity together.”

“And in death afterward,” I whisper back.

The scenery around us flickers with lights from another car. Tires screech along the street, and we both turn to watch the car spin as it takes the sharp turn, tipping onto its roof before it hits the same tree that killed my sister and her boyfriend with a violent crash.

Something from the car tugs at the empty space in my chest. I look at Letum in question. He squeezes my hand and lets it go, giving me a subtle nod.

Next to the car, a big luminescent cloud of light dances and spins in the air. Soft voices come from behind it, calling and beckoning. Not for me, but for the soul in the car. I’m not sure how I know, but it’s a gateway. The same gateway Death did not want to take me to.

I breathe in deeply, then follow the pull. Everything about this feels like I’m finally breathing fresh air. It feels right. The broken glass beneath my feet doesn’t make a sound as I make my way to the car. My knees don’t click when I drop to my haunches to see inside the car.

Through the shattered window, I can see a boy with red hair hanging upside down in his seat with his spine jutting out of the side of his neck, beneath his skin.

I look back at Death, the once faceless man, whose face is now all I see. Letum gives me a reassuring nod. My attention goes back to the boy with the red hair: the soul that isn’t mine to keep.

Thunder rolls through the hills as the rain falls harder, soaking the earth and my lifeless body. The gates vibrate the world around, and the pull grows stronger.

This is what I was always meant to do. This is what I was made for. Letum is who I was made for.

Death comes in the darkness and light, but for him, I will come in a storm.

The End.

Acknowledgments

I had a few people ask me what inspired this book.

The answer comes down to several things:

I wanted a freaky little man to leave me concerning notes while I slept.

Shadow daddies are hot.

Lilith is hot.

Untreated ADHD.

I was driving and Freefall was playing by Rainbow Kitten Surprises, and the following words spoke to me on a near spiritual level:

Called to the Devil and the Devil said Hey!

Why you been calling this late?

It's like 2 A.M. and the bars all close at 10 in hell, that's a rule I made

Anyway, you say you're too busy saving everybody else to save yourself

And you don't want no help, oh well

That's the story to tell

But aside from that, I want to thank my amazing team of beta readers: V, Sam, Kiza, Pia, Nadine, Jacki, Kayla, Mika, Mette, Ruby, Nildene, and Nika (and for the stunning drawing of the skull). If I could, I would put a very specific emoji next to each of your names, but unfortunately that would be a nightmare to figure out from a typesetting perspective. But honestly, this book wouldn't be where it is without you all, baby girls.

A special shout out to V, Sam and Kiza for your unwavering support from an emotional, spiritual and physical perspective. I love you guys.

About the Author

From an early age, romance author Avina St. Graves spent her days imaging fantasy worlds and dreamy fictional men, which spurred on from her introverted tendencies. In all her day dreaming, there seemed to be a reoccurring theme of morally grey female characters, love interests that belong in prison, and unnecessary trauma and bloodshed.

Much to everyone's misfortune, she now spends her days in a white-collar job praying to every god known to man that she might be able to write full time and give the world more red flags to froth over. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook and Tiktok.