Attention! ALL COPYRIGHTS TO THE PLAY ARE PROTECTED BY THE LAWS OF RUSSIA, INTERNATIONAL LEGISLATION, AND BELONG TO THE AUTHOR. ITS PUBLICATION AND REPUBLICATION, REPRODUCTION, PUBLIC PERFORMANCE, TRANSLATION INTO FOREIGN LANGUAGES, MAKING CHANGES TO THE TEXT OF THE PLAY WHEN STAGED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR IS PROHIBITED. THE PRODUCTION OF THE PLAY IS POSSIBLE ONLY AFTER THE CONCLUSION OF A DIRECT CONTRACT BETWEEN THE AUTHOR AND THE THEATER.

Comedy. Duration 1 hour 15 minutes.

ACTORS

Kira is the main character (about 20-30 years old).

Plato is the main character (about 20-30 years old).

Scenography – at the discretion of the director, it is necessary to equip a residential apartment, in which there must be a large double bed, a shelf with a small hand-held female mirror, a TV (working connected, or you can do with the sounds of a working TV, turning the screen away from the audience), a wardrobe with things, an entrance door. From the optional – it would be useful to have additional open openings to the bathroom and kitchen, but they can also be beaten by the backstage area.

The actions take place in the apartment.

Cheeky striptease music sounds. Bright, powerful, charged, charging, exciting.

… approximately 8-10 seconds.

Then it would be good to give a few flashes of light so that goosebumps run along the vertebrae of the viewer. And then we light up two of our heroes coming out of different ends of the stage with light bulbs.

So, the music is hammering, the light is concentrated on our two heroes (Kira and Plato), who in a sexy, alluring, passionate slow dance movement (and not less passionate, but admittedly decent attire) come out from behind the scenes from different ends of the stage, and try to seduce each other as effectively as possible, and the viewer, of course same too. But the characters don't look at the viewer. They are completely absorbed in the growing passion that is about to pour out into something.

Our heroes are slowly approaching the climax in their passionate dance, they are already approaching each other and are about to grapple in a logical continuation …

BUT!

At this moment the music abruptly stops, all the bright passionate, emotional, external and internal mood of our heroes disappears abruptly. Normal daylight lights up on the stage, and at the same moment of the "Universal Bummer", Kira and Plato abruptly stop dancing and seductive activities.

Plato looks at Kira in a tortured, emotionless way, which in turn begins to express its dissatisfaction with what is happening quite unexpectedly for us (the viewer), but it is expected for Plato to express his dissatisfaction with what is happening.

Kira (restrained, but annoyed, expounding in a completely mundane everyday form). No, well… Well, no, no. That won't do. This is no good. We are now with you once! And everything… Well, that's it… and the whole holiday. And all the pre-training and everything in general here… that's all… (gestures) and that's it? Well, no, but we've been preparing so much. It's our anniversary. It's such a date! Yes, it's almost the same as an official wedding!

Plato shakes his head wearily, is silent. It can be seen that this is not the first time it all goes like this.

Plato (restrained, tired). Kira, dear. Tomorrow you and I are going to apply! We've decided everything. Our wedding is a completely established and irrefutable fact! But listen, today you and I have already celebrated our landmark date. Our year in a civil marriage is already history! We have clearly marked this milestone today. We sat in a restaurant, took a ride on a river tram, we went to the Philharmonic hall, as you wanted! (Quietly, almost imperceptibly for Kira) be it… well, okay, tolerable.

Kira (restrained, agreeing, but a little capricious). Yes! Yes, that's right, but, Platosha, dear, I want our whole gorgeous cake of today's events to be crowned with a certain cherry! And I want this cherry to be as bright, long, long, memorable as possible… do you understand? Well, so as not to crumple everything turned out in the end.

Plato (restrained, annoyed, and it's already clear that he doesn't need anything anymore). Yes, I am here… I see that there is no longer a crumpled end, nor any other.

Kira (running up to Plato, calms and invigorates him). Oh, come on… Well, Plato, what are you doing? Well, my good one… Well, what are you. Well… well, I'm sorry, yes, I… well, here I am… well, that's it. I want everything, at once and more. But… Well, it's simple… well, understand, we will remember this day and this evening for the rest of our lives. Today and especially tonight – it will be the brightest event in our future life. I understand perfectly well what life will be like later… children… worries… mortgages, loans, certificates, kindergartens, sleepless nights. And tomorrow you and I will take our conscious step towards this. But today, please, let's have a good time today! (Emotionally, encouraging Plato) The last time so as to just blow each other up! Just smash, scatter! Well!

Plato, cheered up by Kira's words, begins to shine with his mischievous eyes. He understands what Kira is talking about, he shares her desire. And now he is ready to tear and throw again!

Kira sees the readiness of a civil husband and it turns her on.

Plato (with intrigue, with a spark, with undisguised sexuality). Well… you asked for it! Now hold on!

Plato passionately, a little audaciously pushes Kira away, and goes "to the starting point".

Kira is a little surprised, a little taken aback, but admires this gesture of healthy aggression and under the fading light she also returns "to the original".

Repeat the beginning. BUT!

Only now even more passionately, even more audaciously, even more openly and fiercely, but within the bounds of decency!!! Everything should be very decent, even though this production is provided for the viewer 18 +. No nudity. Yes, some role-playing costumes are allowed, but we do not bend the stick.

So, the stage is dark, empty. Charged music (the same), a few flashes of light and the passion of dance, seduction and rage rushed. And when Kira and Plato approach each other again, then again everything ends abruptly and again our heroes stand and look at each other, as if nothing had happened, without emotions, as in ordinary everyday boring life. They just keep silent, look at each other and mutually understand that… it's all wrong. You can poke our heroes in the nose here, you can scratch your leg… It seems to be a completely illogical situation, but in fact it is explicable.

Plato (restrained, calm, without emotion). Bullshit… it's all bullshit, it's all wrong.

Kira (agreeing without emotion). Uh-huh …

our heroes walk calmly to the bed, sit on it and, leaning on their hand, propping their chin, sit, gloomily looking into the auditorium.

Silence, peace. We pause for about five seconds.

Kira (speaks to Plato, but looks thoughtfully into the auditorium, speaks without emotion). You know… We're probably overeager… In an emotional sense, I mean. In a sense, everything is similar with us… well, as with food. When you eat a lot of delicious things, then you just can't surprise yourself with anything. You no longer feel the sharpness of sensations, the bliss that was once from a simple piece of bread. Feelings are dulled… sensations are dulled… the sharpness of taste is lost and there is no passionate desire… which a hungry person has. That's the same in passion, the same in life. Somehow everything… everything is very, very great, but apparently there is too much of this "great". It looks like we're getting stuffed.