“Thanks.”

He shrugged. “I know how to get food in and out of a microwave.”

The subtext of that remark was that he didn’t know what to do with a baby. The pained regret in his expression made her want to comfort him. “Having a child might be the most natural thing in the world, but they don’t come with an instruction manual.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here.”

She took a bite of mystery meat and studied him while she chewed and swallowed. All she could think to say was, “It’s not your fault, Joe.”

And it wasn’t. But when she’d received no response from him, she hadn’t known he was a prisoner in Afghanistan and the silence had hurt her deeply. For the second time. She never wanted to hurt like that again.

“I’ll never know what it was like to hold him as a newborn.”

“If it’s any consolation, he won’t remember that.” She finished off the mashed potatoes and washed them down with iced tea. “And it’s a good thing. I was all thumbs and he was so tiny. It took time to know what I was doing.”

“That’s all I’m asking for, Kate.” He rested muscular forearms on the countertop in front of her. His eyes sparked with intensity as they met hers. “All I want is time to know my son and learn how to take care of him. Time for him to know me, to trust me.”

“That’s the hard part,” she said. “Why should I believe you’ll stick around?”

Why should she believe he was different from the other men she’d known? The ones who’d paraded in and out of her mother’s life when she was a child. Each time she’d hoped and prayed this one would stay so she could have a family—a mom and dad like other kids. It had never happened and she didn’t want J.T. to know the same disappointment she had.

Joe looked down for several moments, then met her gaze. “I guess there’s nothing I can say to convince you. But, here’s the thing. I wasn’t here when you were pregnant or for the first months of his life. I will be around now. Count on it.”

She had to be fair; there was no choice but to give him time with his child. He was entitled to that. It wasn’t his problem that her attraction for him refused to die. Since there was no way she’d let J.T. out of her sight, she’d have to see him—and do her best to make sure history didn’t repeat itself.

The last time he’d only wanted sex. Now he was there for the baby. It had nothing to do with her, and she needed to remember that. She’d already experienced a serious level of pain on Joe’s account that was a small preview of the damage he could do to her heart.

“Okay,” she said. “You can come over.” Then she held up her finger in warning. “Just don’t bring up marriage again.”

As if that would protect her from emotional catastrophe. She could only hope.

Kate had said okay—permission to come aboard as a parent. It was bright and early the following morning and he stood on her doorstep with bagels and doughnuts in hand. He didn’t bring coffee because after browsing breast-feeding sites on the Net, he wasn’t sure whether J.T. would get caffeine through his mom. On general principle he figured it wasn’t good for a baby.

Joe knocked softly on the door in case the baby might still be asleep. He didn’t know a lot about this, but the little information he had suggested new parents were tired, which meant babies didn’t sleep much.

Kate answered the door with a coffee cup in her hand which answered the caffeine question. “Hi. You’re early.”

And you’re beautiful.

For a split second he was afraid he’d said that out loud. It was the honest-to-God truth, but she wouldn’t want to hear it from him. Her sunstreaked brown hair was tousled from sleep and he remembered it looking like that after he’d run his hands through the silky strands all night long. She was wearing white shorts and a sleeveless green cotton shirt. Her feet were bare and her face didn’t have even a trace of makeup. She took his breath away and also, apparently, his powers of speech because he hadn’t said a word yet.

“Hi.” He gave her the bag. “Breakfast.”

“Thanks. Come in.”

He followed her inside and said, “I wasn’t sure about coffee and caffeine for J.T.—”

She held up her cup. “It’s decaf and I miss my morning jolt. Want some?”

The sight of her had already given him a jolt and no caffeine was involved. “Coffee would be great.” He looked around and saw J.T. propped up in a high chair and gnawing on something that looked like a bread stick. He had goo and residue, presumably from a food source of unknown origin in his hand, all over his face and as far down his body as was visible. He reached to the top of his head and ran a grubby hand in his hair, grabbing a hank before pulling it straight up.

“Hey, buddy.” He walked over and squatted in front of the boy who was watching him with big, interested blue eyes. “You’ve got a punk-rock thing going on there.”

“I wouldn’t get too close,” Kate warned, coffeepot in hand. “He’s a mess.”

“Yeah. I have visual confirmation,” he said wryly.

“He’s pretty quick with those hands if you’re not careful. Just like you—” She stopped and her cheeks turned pink. “Never mind.”

Impossible not to mind when she reminded him of how good the sex had been. Not that he needed much reminding. But she was right. It was better not to go there.

He smiled at the baby. “What’s up, J.T.?”

“He is,” Kate said, glancing over her shoulder. “And a lot during the night, too. I think he’s teething. As a matter of fact, that gross thing in his hand is a teething biscuit. He likes to chew on it. Keeps him busy for a long time.”

Joe moved to the bar and watched her put sugar and fat-free half and half in her steaming mug. She was very particular about it, he remembered now. Coffee was practically a religious experience.

With another cup in her hand, she moved to the counter, keeping the bar between them. “Here you go.”

“Thanks.” He took the steaming mug from her and set it down to cool. Black was how he liked it.

There was nothing like the smell of a good cup of coffee. Unless it was the sweet scent of Kate. The fragrance of her skin drifted to him and all he could think about was fresh flowers and feminine heat. For a woman who hadn’t had a good night’s sleep, she looked awfully darn appealing. For a man who’d given her up, he was still pretty damn attracted. What had he been thinking?

That was a no-brainer. He’d walked before she could. He didn’t want to get burned again. It was as simple as that. But there was nothing simple about the way he got lost in her big, expressive eyes.

“You’re here for a crash course in child care. So—” She dragged out the single word, then took a sip of coffee. Nervous. Good. It wasn’t just him.

“Not quite the way I’d phrase it,” he said and couldn’t help smiling. “More like the basics of baby boot camp.”

“Well put.”

“Where do we start?”

She glanced over her shoulder at the gurgling, babbling baby. “Bath first. Do you want to get him out of the chair?”

He blew out a breath. “A pilot has to take the controls sooner or later.”

“Just remember he’s really sturdy and crying is actually good for his lungs.”

But not so good for my heart, Joe thought.

Last night, his son had cried because he didn’t know his own father. Joe had felt angry, powerless to help, and it had made him hurt in a place he’d never known existed. He hated that. Kate had easily handled the situation. But she had a four-month headstart. More than that if you counted the time she’d carried the boy inside her. It was the time Joe could never get back which had sparked his anger. All he could do was start now and learn, because he never wanted to feel that helpless again.

He started to lift the child out of the chair, then released the seat belt when he got hung up. The baby’s feet caught on the tray and, with one arm around J.T.’s waist, he untangled them.