“Too bad you couldn’t change your name,” Tanner said, half-joking. “Then your ex would be looking for Laura Jessup and not Laura someone else.” Suddenly, a crazy, ridiculous, ludicrous idea flitted through his brain. “How open are you to harebrained schemes?” She lifted her head, gave a soft chuckle. “Why? Do you have one?” Something twisted in his gut, in an oh-my-God-are-you-really-going-to-ask way. His palms started to sweat and his breath caught. He’d said the words once before in his life, but this time it was different. This time it wasn’t for love. So why was he so tied up in knots? “I just might. And you’re going to be tempted to say no, but hear me out.” Her brows pulled together in a puzzled look. “Laura,” he said, not quite believing what he was about to say. “I think we should get married.” The Cowboy’s Convenient Bride Donna Alward www.millsandboon.co.uk DONNA ALWARD is a busy wife and mother of three (two daughters and the family dog), and she believes hers is the best job in the world: a combination of stay-at-home mum and romance novelist. An avid reader since childhood, Donna has always made up her own stories. She completed her arts degree in English literature in 1994, but it wasn’t until 2001 that she penned her first full-length novel and found herself hooked on writing romance. In 2006, she sold her first manuscript, and now writes warm, emotional stories for Mills & Boon. In her new home office in Nova Scotia, Donna loves being back on the east coast of Canada after nearly twelve years in Alberta, where her career began, writing about cowboys and the West. Donna’s debut romance, Hired by the Cowboy, was awarded a Booksellers’ Best Award in 2008 for Best Traditional Romance. With the Atlantic Ocean only minutes from her doorstep, Donna has found a fresh take on life and promises even more great romances in the near future! Donna loves to hear from readers. You can contact her through her website, www.donnaalward.com, or follow @DonnaAlward on Twitter. To Johanna and all the editors at Mills … Boon who have come before … I’ve learned so much from you and have enjoyed every minute. #editorappreciationsociety Contents Cover Introduction Title Page About the Author Dedication Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four
Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Extract Copyright Chapter One Tanner Hudson was getting sick of the bar scene. Unfortunately, the other option was hanging out at home, which was nearly as bad. Particularly when his older brother, Cole, and his girlfriend, Maddy, always sat around making googly eyes at each other. Tanner lifted his glass and took a sip of his Coke, listening to an old George Jones song on the jukebox. He scanned the room for a friendly face. The last thing he wanted this evening was a woman. His lips curved in a wry smile. He was sure that no one would believe that for a second. He knew his reputation. Cole was the steady, reliable one. Tanner was the younger brother who worked hard and played hard and liked the ladies. He set down the Coke and scowled at it. On the surface, people were right. But deep down, well, that was another story. He was pretty darn good at keeping up appearances. Rylan Duggan walked into the Silver Dollar, dusting a few flakes of spring snow off his hat. Tanner perked up. Rylan was a friendly face, and they had a lot in common. When Ry scanned the room, Tanner lifted his chin in a quick greeting, and Rylan grinned. Tanner got up and met his friend at the bar. Rylan ordered a beer, and as he was waiting, Tanner put a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, buddy. Am I glad to see you.” Rylan chuckled. “Why? You want to try to win back the money you lost last time?” When they happened to be in the same place at the same time, Tanner and Rylan would often shoot a game or two of pool. Last time, Tanner had lost a twenty. “Sounds fine to me. Slow in here tonight.” Rylan took his beer and looked at Tanner, as if trying to puzzle him out. “Kailey’s off to some potluck supper and candle party or jewelry or...well, I wasn’t really paying attention. I thought I’d drop by for a burger. What brings you here? The Dollar isn’t usually your speed.” Tanner shrugged, the dissatisfaction nagging at him again. “Bored, I guess. Hell, Ry, I live in a house with my parents and big brother.” He shook his head. “I should get my own place or something.” His own life, perhaps. “Why don’t you?” They made their way over to the pool tables. Tanner was kind of embarrassed to answer the question, actually. It came down to two things: money and convenience. The convenience thing was understandable, so he went with that. “I’m working the place with Cole and Dad. It just makes sense to, you know, be close.” вернуться “Too bad you couldn’t change your name,” Tanner said, half-joking. “Then your ex would be looking for Laura Jessup and not Laura someone else.” Suddenly, a crazy, ridiculous, ludicrous idea flitted through his brain. “How open are you to harebrained schemes?” She lifted her head, gave a soft chuckle. “Why? Do you have one?” Something twisted in his gut, in an oh-my-God-are-you-really-going-to-ask way. His palms started to sweat and his breath caught. He’d said the words once before in his life, but this time it was different. This time it wasn’t for love. So why was he so tied up in knots? “I just might. And you’re going to be tempted to say no, but hear me out.” Her brows pulled together in a puzzled look. “Laura,” he said, not quite believing what he was about to say. “I think we should get married.” вернуться DONNA ALWARD is a busy wife and mother of three (two daughters and the family dog), and she believes hers is the best job in the world: a combination of stay-at-home mum and romance novelist. An avid reader since childhood, Donna has always made up her own stories. She completed her arts degree in English literature in 1994, but it wasn’t until 2001 that she penned her first full-length novel and found herself hooked on writing romance. In 2006, she sold her first manuscript, and now writes warm, emotional stories for Mills & Boon. In her new home office in Nova Scotia, Donna loves being back on the east coast of Canada after nearly twelve years in Alberta, where her career began, writing about cowboys and the West. Donna’s debut romance, Hired by the Cowboy, was awarded a Booksellers’ Best Award in 2008 for Best Traditional Romance. With the Atlantic Ocean only minutes from her doorstep, Donna has found a fresh take on life and promises even more great romances in the near future! Donna loves to hear from readers. You can contact her through her website, www.donnaalward.com, or follow @DonnaAlward on Twitter. вернуться To Johanna and all the editors at Mills … Boon who have come before … I’ve learned so much from you and have enjoyed every minute. #editorappreciationsociety вернуться Chapter One Tanner Hudson was getting sick of the bar scene. Unfortunately, the other option was hanging out at home, which was nearly as bad. Particularly when his older brother, Cole, and his girlfriend, Maddy, always sat around making googly eyes at each other. Tanner lifted his glass and took a sip of his Coke, listening to an old George Jones song on the jukebox. He scanned the room for a friendly face. The last thing he wanted this evening was a woman. His lips curved in a wry smile. He was sure that no one would believe that for a second. He knew his reputation. Cole was the steady, reliable one. Tanner was the younger brother who worked hard and played hard and liked the ladies. He set down the Coke and scowled at it. On the surface, people were right. But deep down, well, that was another story. He was pretty darn good at keeping up appearances. Rylan Duggan walked into the Silver Dollar, dusting a few flakes of spring snow off his hat. Tanner perked up. Rylan was a friendly face, and they had a lot in common. When Ry scanned the room, Tanner lifted his chin in a quick greeting, and Rylan grinned. Tanner got up and met his friend at the bar. Rylan ordered a beer, and as he was waiting, Tanner put a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, buddy. Am I glad to see you.” Rylan chuckled. “Why? You want to try to win back the money you lost last time?” When they happened to be in the same place at the same time, Tanner and Rylan would often shoot a game or two of pool. Last time, Tanner had lost a twenty. “Sounds fine to me. Slow in here tonight.” Rylan took his beer and looked at Tanner, as if trying to puzzle him out. “Kailey’s off to some potluck supper and candle party or jewelry or...well, I wasn’t really paying attention. I thought I’d drop by for a burger. What brings you here? The Dollar isn’t usually your speed.” Tanner shrugged, the dissatisfaction nagging at him again. “Bored, I guess. Hell, Ry, I live in a house with my parents and big brother.” He shook his head. “I should get my own place or something.” His own life, perhaps. “Why don’t you?” They made their way over to the pool tables. Tanner was kind of embarrassed to answer the question, actually. It came down to two things: money and convenience. The convenience thing was understandable, so he went with that. “I’m working the place with Cole and Dad. It just makes sense to, you know, be close.” Rylan nodded. “I get it. And it can get claustrophobic, too.” He started setting up the balls. “I lived in my RV until Kailey and I moved into Quinn’s old place. The last thing I wanted was to be under the same roof with Quinn and Lacey, especially when they were newlyweds.” Tanner selected a stick and chalked the end. “Tell me about it. I love Maddy, I really do, but she and Cole are all in love and everything, and they’re around a lot.” “I get it, bro.” Rylan removed the triangle and reached for a stick, testing the feel of it in his hand. “Maybe you should settle down. Could be that’s your problem. Restless feet.” Tanner laughed. “Right.” Rylan’s statement hit a little too close to home, though. Truth was, Tanner was pretty sure there was more to life than this. He lined up and broke, balls scattering over the table. “Naw, I’m telling you,” Rylan said. “Married life is pretty good. I never wanted to settle down, either, until Kailey. Now I know what I was missin’.” He grinned, a little sideways smile that made Tanner roll his eyes. Tanner missed his next shot, so it was Ry’s turn. As Tanner watched, he let out a dissatisfied sigh. Everywhere around him, people were in love and telling him how wonderful it was. And it wasn’t that Tanner wasn’t happy for his brother. He was. Maddy was a great woman, with adorable kids, and he was pretty sure wedding bells would be ringing for his brother really soon. Tanner just wasn’t sure he was built that way. Or that he was the marrying kind. He was, as his ex put it, built for fun, but not for a lifetime. Fun he could do. Because he sure as hell wasn’t interested in having his heart stomped on again. So he worked hard and blew off some steam now and again. As far as the living-at-home thing, he’d been young and stupid and had spent his money as fast as he’d made it. But not in the last few years. He’d saved what he would have paid on rent or a mortgage until he’d built up a nice little savings. His truck wasn’t new, and other than what little he spent on going out, his expenses were few. Maybe he wasn’t a keeper in the love department, but no one would ever accuse him of being broke and worthless again. Maybe he should bite the bullet and put a down payment on a place of his own. Trouble was, it wasn’t just living at home that was making him itch. It was the ranch, too, and feeling as if his whole life was laid out in front of him. No deviation. No curve balls. It was so...predictable. He didn’t hate the ranch; it wasn’t that at all. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that there might be something more out there waiting for him. “Dude. It’s your shot. You off in la-la land or what?” Tanner frowned. “Sorry. I’m probably not very good company tonight.” “No kidding. At this rate, you’re going to be down another twenty.” Mad at himself for being bad company, Tanner let out a breath and focused on sinking the next ball. He did, and two more, which made him feel as if he was a little more with the program. They finished the game and Rylan asked if he wanted to play another, but Tanner just wasn’t in the zone. “Sorry, man,” he said. “I’m out. But I’ll take that twenty.” “Come on. Double or nothing. I’m here for another two hours until Kailey’s done.” Tanner thought about it, but then he shook his head. “I’m bad company anyway. You should get yourself some suicide wings and a few more beers and find another willing victim.” Rylan laughed and dug in his wallet for the twenty. It seemed like each time they met, the bill just exchanged hands, back and forth. Tanner pocketed it and shrugged back into his denim jacket. “Thanks for the game, Ry.” “Anytime. And, Tanner? I wasn’t kidding. Maybe you need to find yourself a woman. You know, to relieve all that pent-up tension.” Rylan winked at him and Tanner laughed dutifully, but he was far too grouchy to be amused. Women were complicated creatures. They caused any number of troubles, had the ability to stomp on your heart and strip away your confidence. And yet they remained so damned desirable. They could make a man feel like a million dollars and as if he could conquer the world. Even if it was only for one night. “I’ll see you around, Ry. Thanks for the game.” More on edge than when he’d entered the Silver Dollar, Tanner crossed the parking lot to his truck and hopped in. He started the engine and turned on the wipers, letting them brush the light dusting of snow off the windshield. Flurries in April weren’t that uncommon, though he was more than ready to leave winter behind for good. Longer days and warm temperatures should improve his mood, right? He’d driven a little ways down the street when he spotted a car with its hood up in the bank parking lot. The bank was closed this time of night; whoever it was must have stopped to use the ATM, and it was the only car in the lot. As he slowed, he saw someone bent under the hood. By the shape of the snug jeans, it was a woman. And as much as Tanner considered women trouble, he wouldn’t drive away from someone with car trouble. He put on his signal and pulled into the lot. She stood up as he drove into the spot next to her, and he recognized her immediately. Laura Jessup. Well, if that didn’t complicate matters... Laura had a new baby—and the rumor was that the father was none other than Maddy’s late husband. He’d seen her a handful of times since Christmas. It had been a bit awkward, considering how the families were now connected. More for her than for him, really. He liked Laura. Admired her, too. Maybe she’d made mistakes, but she was handling them. Tanner had been the volunteer EMT on duty the day she went into labor and called for an ambulance. He knew he wasn’t supposed to let things get personal while on a call, but helping the single mom deliver her baby had been a different circumstance. It was a day he wouldn’t ever forget. “Laura, hi.” He called out to her as he hopped out of the truck. “Having car trouble?” She looked relieved to see him. “Hey, Tanner. I went into the bank and when I came out, my car wouldn’t start.” “Let me try. I can always give you a boost.” “You’re welcome to try and I appreciate it.” She ran a hand over her hair, which was in a perky ponytail with little orangey-red strands sticking out. “My phone’s out of juice and the baby’s in the back. Sleeping, for now, thank God.” The baby. Tanner had ridden in the back of the ambulance on the way to the hospital and had been there for everything, including the final ten minutes in the emergency room when she’d delivered. He normally would have turned everything over to the doctors and nurses in the department, but Laura had grabbed his hand and asked him to stay. Begged him, so she wouldn’t be alone. He’d stayed. Right through to the moment the first cries echoed through the room and Laura had started crying herself. Then he’d stepped back and left the room, more affected than he should have been in his professional capacity. That had been almost four months ago. As he passed by her to get to the driver’s side of her car, he noticed that she definitely had her pre-pregnancy figure back. Well, maybe a few more curves, but they looked good on her. Real good. She looked more rested than she had the last time their paths had crossed, too. She must be adjusting to mom life. From what he heard, there wasn’t a lot of sleeping going on for the first few months with a new baby. Giving his head a shake, he slid behind the wheel and turned the key. There was a whirring noise, but it got slower and slower and nothing caught. He glanced into the back seat. The car seat was rear facing, so he couldn’t see the baby’s face—just the edges of a white frilly hat and a pink blanket. As quietly as he could, he got out of the car. “Looks like we’ll have to try giving you a boost,” he said. “And looking at your car, I’d say you’re probably due for a new battery.” “Damn it.” Laura let out a big sigh. “Oh well. I guess when you drive an older vehicle you have to expect some maintenance costs.” Tanner nodded. “I know. I go through the same thing with my truck. Hang on, I’ll pull up closer and get my cables.” “Thanks, Tanner.” She smiled at him. “Looks like you’re coming to my rescue again.” His gaze met hers, and heat crept up his neck and into his face. He was blushing, for God’s sake. And all because he’d covered for another paramedic that December day when her baby was born. It didn’t get much more personal than that. Well, that wasn’t the only reason. Laura Jessup was extraordinarily beautiful. Tall, with a stunning figure, thick coppery hair, arresting blue eyes and a smile that went straight to a man’s gut. The rumor was that Gavin Wallace had fathered her baby while he was still married to Maddy. Looking at Laura now, with her sweet smile and gratitude shining in her eyes, Tanner figured he could understand how Gavin had been attracted to her. Particularly since she and Gavin had been high school sweethearts. She’d be a hard woman to forget. Of course, Maddy was now in love with Tanner’s brother. Which made Tanner feel as if he was somehow betraying both Maddy and Cole just by thinking about Laura this way. He jumped into the truck and maneuvered it so it was nearly bumper to bumper with hers, and then grabbed the cables from the back and hooked up the two batteries. “Okay,” he said, “hop in and try it.” It whirred for a few moments, then sputtered and caught, roaring to life. Relieved, Tanner disconnected the cables and threw them in the back of the truck. Laura got out as he closed her hood. “Tanner, thank you so much.” “It’s no big deal. Glad the boost worked. You’re probably going to need a new battery, though.” “I know.” “Do you have a charger at home? In case it doesn’t start again?” She shook her head. “No, but I’ll get a new battery tomorrow. Promise.” He didn’t argue. The garage would be closed now anyway. Unless she drove all the way into the city, there wasn’t anywhere she could get a battery today anyway. “I’ll follow you home,” he said. “In case it’s not your battery, but your alternator or something. You’ll know because you’ll see your charge dropping.” “You don’t have to...” “If your phone’s dead and you’ve got your daughter in the back...” He frowned. “I’d like to make sure you get home all right. It’s just flurrying now, but what if it starts snowing harder?” “In April?” He snorted. “Come on, it wouldn’t be a Montana spring without a few random storms.” “Fine,” she replied. “And I appreciate it, Tanner. A lot.” She hesitated, then met his gaze again. “Not everyone would stop and give me a hand.” It would have been less awkward had she not alluded to her persona non grata status in town. He’d often wondered why she stayed here, but figured it had to do with her grandparents. Or maybe it had been because of Gavin and now it was logistically too hard to move. Still, she was a tough cookie for facing the community censure day in and day out. Whatever she had or hadn’t done, she’d always been friendly and polite to him—before the baby and every time they’d run into each other since. Tanner tended to judge people on what he saw, rather than what he heard. He smiled at her. “I’d never hear the end of it if I didn’t help a neighbor in need,” he said. “Besides, I’m sure you want to get the baby home.” “Her name’s Rowan,” she said quietly. Rowan. There was something restful about the name that he liked. “That’s pretty,” he said, feeling inept at this sort of thing. How did a proclaimed bachelor make small talk about babies? He had a flash of inspiration. “She’s healthy and everything?” Considering her fast entrance into the world, and that he was one of the EMTs that day, it seemed a logical question. Laura smiled again as the car idled beside them. “Yes, perfectly. She likes to keep me up at night sometimes, but we just work around it.” “That’s good,” he replied. “And you look good, Laura. Rested. Whatever you’re doing is working.” “Thanks.” She smiled shyly. And then the silence became awkward again. “Well, you head out and I’ll follow you just in case.” “Sure thing. Thanks again, Tanner.” “Anytime.” She got in her car and he backed away, letting her out so she could lead. The snow was coming down a little harder now, and would be slick before the night was out if the temperature kept dropping. She lived in a little house just west of town limits, and when she turned into her driveway and gave a wave in her rearview mirror, he thought, as he had that day in December, how lonely it must be out here all by herself, with the neighbors spread out. Her name wasn’t even on the mailbox. Tanner turned around and headed back toward town and home. It wasn’t until he passed the Silver Dollar again that he thought of Rylan and his comment that Tanner should go out looking for a woman. If he did, the last one he should set his eyes on was Laura Jessup. She might be sweet as apple pie and gorgeous to boot, but she came with way more complication than he was interested in pursuing. * * * “LAURA, IS THAT YOU?” Laura hadn’t even shut the door when her grandfather called out to her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, then put Rowan’s car seat on the floor. “Yes, Gramps, it’s me. Sorry I’m late.” She took off her coat and hung it in the closet, then put her boots on the mat. For a few moments, she allowed herself to bask in the lovely warmth that came from knowing Tanner had helped her. He’d smiled as if he meant it—as if the rumors about her didn’t matter. Just as he had the day Rowan was born, when he’d held her hand and assured her he wouldn’t leave. She couldn’t indulge in the sentimental feeling for long, however. Rowan was just starting to wake and she’d want to be fed soon. Laura had been stuck at the bank longer than she’d anticipated thanks to her dead battery, and she didn’t have any supper made. She checked her watch. Gramps liked to eat at six sharp. It was just after seven. Before Rowan tuned up and started crying, Laura hustled to the fridge and took out leftovers from last night’s roast beef dinner. Gramps loved meat and potatoes, and it was a good thing because Laura wasn’t the world’s greatest cook. She’d bought one of those ready-to-bake roasts, microwaved frozen vegetables and managed to boil potatoes, all without burning the house down. She checked a small plastic dish and saw there was only a little gravy left from the packet mix she’d made. Maybe she could add a bit of water to it and it would be enough for Gramps. She was happy to have him. But trying to be Martha Stewart while he was here was proving to be a bigger challenge than she’d expected. She was sure he’d get that pinched look on his face when she presented him with a warmed-up version of last night’s meal. Rowan was awake and grumbling, so Laura took her out of the seat and held her with one arm while using the other one to take off her little pink coat and hat. Laura ventured into the living room, where she found her grandfather in his favorite chair, watching the end of the six o’clock news. “Sorry about dinner. I’m getting it now. I had some car trouble.” Gramps was seventy-five and still sharp, but he’d never had to cook or do for himself. With Gram in the hospital for a few weeks with a lung infection, Laura had suggested he stay with her. And she wasn’t sorry. She didn’t have a lot of family around, and they’d been so good to her since she’d come home. But living with Gramps had its challenges all the same. “Your car all right?” “I need a new battery. I got a boost in town that got me home. McNulty’s is closed until tomorrow.” “I was hoping to go see your grandmother tomorrow. Since we missed today.” Yes, they’d missed driving into Great Falls. Truth be told, Laura was exhausted. Between being up with Rowan, caring for Gramps, and trying to make ends meet, she was stretched to the limit. Today she’d asked to stay home because she was trying to work on a freelance project she’d taken on. The only reason she’d gone into town was because she’d realized she’d run out of diapers. In the kitchen, the microwave beeped, indicating the first plate of food was ready. “I’ll see what I can do,” she promised. “Come on out to the kitchen, Gramps. Supper’s on.” She went to the kitchen and swapped the heated meal for the cold one and set the timer again. “Could you put some water on for tea, please?” she asked. “I’d like to change Ro before we eat.” Gramps grunted a response, but he grabbed the kettle and started to fill it. Laura tried to be patient. Gramps had been the one to work and Gram had stayed home, raised kids and looked after her husband. Laura wasn’t against that kind of existence, even though these days it was rarely practical. That had been their choice. The downside was that Charlie Jessup had never really had to do anything remotely domestic in his life, and at seventy-five he was unlikely to change. He simply didn’t understand why Laura was so incompetent in the kitchen. Once Rowan was changed, she started to fuss. Laura made sure Gramps had his meal, but it was increasingly clear that she would not have time to eat before feeding Ro. God, she was tired. She poured water into the mugs to let the tea steep. “Sorry, Gramps,” she said, trying to inject some brightness into her voice. “I’ve got to feed Ro. The tea’s steeping, if you don’t mind taking out the bag when the timer goes.” “Yeah, fine,” he said. “The beef’s good, by the way.” She didn’t realize how badly she’d needed the compliment until it was given, and her eyes stung with unshed tears. “Thanks,” she answered, scooting out of the kitchen so he wouldn’t see. She went to Rowan’s room. Laura slept in here, too, on one of those blow-up beds with the fold-up frame, since she’d given Gramps her bedroom for the duration of his stay. She sank into the padded rocker and settled Rowan at her breast, exhaling several times to help her relax. She loved being a mom. And these were precious, precious moments. Laura wished she could stop being so resentful. She resented having to breast-feed in here because her grandfather found it so embarrassing. She resented having to work when she was so exhausted because her maternity benefits were long gone. And while she tried to be grateful for her blessings, it was hard when she went into town and received knowing stares from so many people. They also gave Rowan curious looks, as if expecting her to resemble Gavin. As far as anyone knew, Laura was a home wrecker. General consensus was she’d been having an affair with Gavin Wallace and Rowan was his child. They’d been high school sweethearts, said the whispers. And the moment she’d come back to town, they’d started up again. And then the worst rumor of all: that he’d been leaving her place the night he had the accident and was killed. One of these days, she was going to have to leave Gibson behind. Even if she could live with the rumors and whispers, it wouldn’t be fair to do that to Rowan, especially as she got older. She wished she could tell everyone the truth, but she couldn’t. The only person who knew was her lawyer and Maddy Wallace—Gavin’s widow, who’d promised to keep Laura’s secret. She had to let it go for her own safety. For Rowan’s. Gavin Wallace was not Rowan’s father. And if Spence ever found out that he had a child... It would be nothing short of a nightmare. вернуться Chapter Two Laura clicked the mouse one last time and sat back to look at the banner she’d created. She frowned. Something wasn’t quite right. The background was beautiful, and the graphic highlighted the client’s product perfectly. It was the font, she decided. It needed to be slightly slimmer, and a deeper shade of plum. So far, the freelance work was paying her bills, but just. Still, it would take time for word of mouth to spread. At least this way she was home with her child instead of having to commute to an office, as she had done during her six-month contract that had ended in December. Ironically enough, she was still floundering with setting up her own site. She tried to keep her personal details very, very quiet. Plastering her name all over a site made her uncomfortable, and she knew she could decide on a company name, but people still wanted the name of the person they were dealing with. It was hard to advertise and drum up business without a website. Particularly when you were a web designer. She adjusted the font, felt better, and saved the banner before emailing it off to the client for their thoughts. Then she checked her phone. Damn. They should have left for the hospital half an hour ago. She shut down the computer, dropped the phone into her bag and went looking for Gramps. She found him sitting on the back deck in a plastic patio chair. It really wasn’t a deck, but rather an oversize landing at the top of the back stairs. There was room for one chair and that was it. She pasted on the customary smile. “Sorry I took so long. Are you ready to go?” “Sure. Been ready an hour now,” he said, putting his hands on his knees and pushing himself to standing. There were times she knew he didn’t mean what he said as criticism. It didn’t mean she didn’t take it that way. Ten minutes later, they were on the road, and it seemed like no time at all and they’d arrived at the hospital. While he visited Gram, Laura sat in the family waiting room and nursed Rowan. Then she popped into Gram’s room to say hello, and left again to get a couple of sandwiches from the cafeteria, as well as some cranberry juice for Gram. The nurses were very good about letting Laura use the kitchen on the floor to make Gram’s favorite cold remedy—cranberry juice mixed half and half with boiling water. She always said it soothed her throat and cough and drove out the chill. Laura made a cup for Gram and a cup for herself, as she’d always liked it, too, and a cup of tea for Gramps. By two o’clock, Laura reminded Gramps that they had to get back to Gibson, as she had an appointment at the lawyer’s office. So far Rowan had been contented, so Laura dropped Gramps at the diner and said she’d be back in half an hour to pick him up. The appointment at the lawyer’s office was brief. She’d wanted to check on Spence’s status. The idea of him being eligible for parole after what he’d done sent a cold chill down her spine and kept her up at night. With Spence having served nearly a year of his three-year sentence, Laura wanted to make sure she kept tabs on the situation. Like when she really needed to start worrying. She could breathe easy for another few months anyway. She found Gramps sitting in a booth with a cup of tea and a piece of half-eaten cherry pie in front of him. She’d taken Rowan out of the car seat and held her in her arms, and when she slid into the booth, she settled the baby on her knee, curled into the curve of her arm. “That didn’t take long,” he commented. “I’m only half-through my pie.” “Take your time,” she said, knowing Gramps was tired from being out all day. She was, too, but rushing him wouldn’t benefit either of them. Besides, the food here was better than what he got at home. Unfortunately. He sipped his tea and took another bite of pie, and a waitress came over to see if Laura wanted anything. “What can I get you?” she asked. A hot bath, a glass of wine, and an hour of quiet, Laura thought, but she merely smiled. “A glass of chocolate milk, I guess,” she replied. She’d forsaken caffeine months ago, with the exception of her evening cup of tea. Since she’d never been fond of plain white milk, chocolate was her way of getting her calcium. The waitress returned quickly with her milk and Laura took a long drink, enjoying the cool, sweet taste. She licked the froth from her top lip and settled more comfortably into the vinyl seat of the booth. “Everything okay at the lawyer’s?” Gramps asked, looking up at her over his mug. “Yes. Fine.” “Don’t know why you need a lawyer anyway,” he grumbled. “They’re expensive.” Didn’t she know it. And Gavin had helped her for free, because they were friends. His colleague was giving her a break because of Gavin, but it wasn’t free. “It’s complicated,” she replied, drinking again. She put down her glass. “Nothing for you to worry about, though. Promise.” She smiled. Gramps was gruff, but she knew he worried and cared. He wasn’t a fan of her raising her baby alone, but he’d never said a word about Gavin, or the fact that he’d been married. It was as though they’d agreed to not mention it. He put down his fork. “Laura, are you okay? Really? I’m old and I’m not good for much, but if you need help...” She melted a bit, her frustration of the last week ebbing away. She touched his fingers with her free hand. “I’m fine, Gramps. I’ve made some mistakes, but I’m working on getting my life back on track.” “You know how I feel about some of that,” he murmured, keeping his voice low. “But you’re a Jessup. And you’re made of strong stuff. You can do whatever you set your mind to.” Except protect myself, she thought, hating the idea that she could feel so helpless, hating even more that she was scared. Still, the praise made her feel stronger. “Thank you, Gramps.” “Humph,” he said, back to his gruff self. But she smiled a little to herself. Laura didn’t notice anyone approaching the table until she heard the voice that sent shivers of pleasure rippling up her spine. “So, did you end up replacing the battery?” She swallowed and looked up to find Tanner standing beside the booth, an easy grin on his face. It would be easier if he weren’t so darn handsome. His dark hair was slightly mussed, his blue eyes twinkled down at her and his plaid shirt was unbuttoned at the top, revealing a small V of tanned skin. She hoped she wasn’t blushing. “I did, yes. The guy from McNulty’s was kind enough to bring one out and put it in for me.” Tanner frowned. “I would have done that, and saved you the labor cost.” “Thanks, but it wasn’t that bad.” She glanced over at her grandfather. “Gramps, have you met Tanner Hudson? Tanner, this is my grandfather, Charlie.” Tanner held out his hand. “Sir,” he said, giving a nod as they shook hands. “Tanner’s the one who gave me a boost the other day,” Laura explained. “Have a seat,” Gramps said. “Laura’s always so bent on doing everything herself, but I’m glad there are some people who are willing to lend a hand—even when she won’t admit she needs one.” Laura gaped at him. Hadn’t he just said she could do anything? Of course. He still prescribed to the old school where certain things were “man’s work.” Auto repair clearly being one of them. Tanner slid into the booth beside her, and she quickly scooched over so they weren’t pressed together. To her annoyance, he gave Gramps his winningest smile. “Happy to do it. Though from what I’ve seen, Laura’s pretty capable of handling herself.” Gramps gave Tanner a long look, then a quick nod and calmly cut another bite of pie with the edge of his fork. The waitress came over with a coffee and doughnut for Tanner, and he thanked her with a wink and a smile. “You’re not working out at the ranch today?” Laura asked. “I had to make a run in to the hardware store. I was going to grab a coffee to go, but I saw you and thought I’d see how you made out after the other day.” He shrugged. “At least the weather’s improved. Much more spring-like.” He looked over at her half-empty glass. “Chocolate milk?” She grinned. “What can I say? I’m a kid at heart.” “Speaking of kids...” He peered around her shoulder at Rowan. “Wow. She’s cute.” “Thanks.” Laura looked down at Rowan and a familiar wave of love washed over her. “She’s been an angel all day, so I’m waiting for things to go south really soon. We’ve been to Great Falls to the hospital to visit my grandmother, and then went to a couple of appointments. Babies have a way of letting you know when they’ve had enough.” “I bet. Your grandmother—is she okay?” “She’s had a lung infection, but we hope she’ll be out of the hospital on the weekend. Gramp’s been staying with us in the meantime.” “Laura’s been taking good care of me,” Gramps said, pushing his pie plate away. He patted his belly. “That was a good piece of pie. Maybe I should have another.” Laura felt a flush infuse her cheeks. “You’re just saying that because I can hardly boil water. I wouldn’t let you starve, Gramps.” He grinned and picked up his tea. “Honey, I know that. You got your looks from your grandmother. But you didn’t get her cooking skills. That’s just a fact.” He looked so amiable that Laura couldn’t be mad—though she was embarrassed. Particularly when Tanner chuckled beside her. Rowan wriggled in her arms and Laura looked down. “We should probably get going soon,” she said. “Dragging her from pillar to post today means she hasn’t had her regular sleep or feeding schedule. This could get ugly.” She aimed a stern look at Charlie. “She has the Jessup temper.” Tanner laughed and Gramps sent her a look of approval. But then Tanner peeked over at Rowan, and Laura suddenly felt uncomfortable. Sure, there was a lot of Jessup in Ro, but Tanner was probably looking for bits of Gavin. He was nice to her, but he probably thought the same as everyone else. Plus, he was connected to Maddy through Cole. And while Maddy and Cole knew the truth, no one else did. Besides her lawyer, they were the only people she’d trusted in all of Gibson, and that was only because her conscience couldn’t take it anymore. Tanner’s face remained relaxed and pleasant, though, and she gave Ro a little bounce on her knee. The baby giggled and then shoved a fist into her mouth, sucking on her fingers. A sure sign she was getting hungry. “Are you almost ready, Gramps?” Laura tried to urge him along. But Gramps had either forgotten the urgency of small babies or was determined not to be rushed, because he shifted in his seat and lifted his teacup. “Just a bit of tea left. I won’t be long.” The noises from Ro chewing on her fist got louder and Laura smiled weakly at Tanner as he bit into his doughnut. A familiar tingling started and Laura realized it had been nearly four hours since Ro’s last feeding. No, no, no, she chanted in her head. But Rowan started to squirm and cry, nuzzling her face towards Laura’s shoulder. And when Laura looked down, she was sure her face burned with instant embarrassment. “Damn,” she whispered, staring at twin splotches on her shirt. She’d worn a light blue cotton blouse, and there was no mistaking the wet spots. Sometimes breast-feeding was not completely convenient. It would be the better part of twenty minutes by the time they paid the bill, she got everyone in the car and they drove home. And if she were alone, she’d discreetly slide to the corner of the booth, drape a flannel receiving blanket over her shoulder and do what was necessary. But Gramps wasn’t comfortable with it at home, and she was certain he’d make a big fuss about it in public. “What’s the... Oh.” Tanner’s voice was soft beside her. Rowan started crying in earnest and people started looking over. To her frustration, Gramps poured more tea into his cup from the small silver pot. “I can go. If you...that is...” She shook her head and motioned toward Gramps. Thankfully, Tanner understood. “I see. Give me two minutes.” He scooted out of the booth and went to the counter. A moment later, he returned with a young, pretty waitress behind him. “Tanner says you could use some privacy for a few minutes.” The words were said kindly. “Come with me.” “You’re sure? I don’t want to inconvenience you...” “Don’t be silly.” She raised an eyebrow and her gaze dropped to Laura’s shirt. “The sooner the better from the looks of it.” Laura was pretty practical when it came to nursing, but she had to admit that this moment was pretty humiliating. She grabbed the diaper bag and slid out of the booth. “Thanks,” she whispered to Tanner as she passed by him, and he flashed her a smile. The waitress led her to an office in the back. “This is Joe’s office,” she said. “But he’s not in today, so you won’t be interrupted.” “Thank you so much, Miss...” “Shoot. Just call me Chelsea.” She grinned. “My big sister has two kids and believe me, I understand.” She closed the door behind her with a quiet click. Rowan was frantically rubbing against Laura’s shirt, and with a sigh, Laura sat on a saggy sofa and got Ro settled. Several minutes later, she tucked everything back into place. Ro had eaten, burped, and was now sleeping peacefully in the crook of Laura’s arm. But Laura was anything but peaceful. Her grandfather was still out in the diner, probably irritated beyond belief at being kept waiting. She really should pack up and get him home. She was putting the flannel cloth back into the diaper bag when a soft tap sounded on the door. “Come in,” she called quietly. She expected it to be Chelsea, so she was surprised to see Tanner poke his head inside. “Is everything okay in here?” She laughed. “I’m put back together, if that’s what you’re asking.” He stepped inside, and she laughed again at the relief that relaxed his facial muscles. “Chelsea mentioned that...” His cheeks colored. “Well. That you might want a different shirt. I went to the department store and bought you something,” he said, and she thought he looked rather bashful admitting it. He handed her a small bag. She reached inside and took out a black T-shirt in what appeared to be the right size. “Chelsea said that?” He nodded. “Yeah. She’s a nice girl. She...well, never mind. She said a medium would probably fit you.” “You bought me a shirt?” “Well, your other one was... You know.” “Stained with breast milk?” He blushed deeper. She sighed. “Tanner, that was really sweet of you. I’m sorry if I was too blunt. I honestly think that once you have a baby you kind of give up on maintaining any sense of dignity. Stuff just happens.” The wonder of being a mom was sometimes tempered with a direct hit to a woman’s vanity. He smiled. “Hell, Laura, I was in the ambulance that day. I think that ship sailed a long time ago.” Yes, he had been. He’d held her hand, breathed with her, checked on her progress. Just as any ambulance attendant would have. Except...she vaguely remembered pleading with him to stay with her. She’d felt so alone, so afraid, so...adrift. Without an anchor to keep her steady and hold her fast. And he’d stayed, she remembered. He’d held her hand and encouraged her to push and told her how great she was doing. Then he’d disappeared. He’d done his job and gone above and beyond, but that was all it was. His job. Buying her a T-shirt was not his job. And neither was boosting her car or finding her a private spot to nurse her baby. Tanner wasn’t just a good EMT. He was a good man, too. “This really was very thoughtful.” She met his gaze. “And I should get out there. My grandfather is probably having a canary by now.” “I actually looked after that, too. He was grumbling, so I told him to head home. I told him I’d bring you along when you were ready.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “I hope he didn’t lie when he said he still has his license.” “He does. But he only drives in Gibson. Ever since his accident last year, he doesn’t like going on the highways or driving in the city.” “Which is why you went to the hospital today.” “Exactly. He’s aged a lot since the accident. And he relies so much on my gram that I thought it would just be easier having him at my place for a few weeks.” He must have sensed some hesitation in her voice, because he raised his eyebrows. “And has it been? Easier?” She sighed. “I wish. I feel pretty inadequate most of the time. Suzie Homemaker I’m not.” “Charlie’s old school. Hell, you’re supporting yourself and your kid. You can’t do everything.” She knew he meant the words to be encouraging, but instead she ended up feeling a familiar dissatisfaction. This wasn’t what she’d wanted her life to look like. How had she gotten so off track? “Anyway, if you’re ready to go, I’ll drive the two of you home.” Laura swallowed. Gramps was probably put out by the whole thing and now she’d ended up inconveniencing Tanner, too, who probably had things to do. “I’ll be right out. I just need to change.” She pushed herself up off the couch, but the busted springs meant it took her three tries. By the end of it, she was trying not to laugh, because Rowan was peaceful in her arms and Laura didn’t want to disturb her. “Here,” he said gently, and reached for Rowan. “I’ll hold her. And I’ll turn around.” As carefully as if he were holding glass, he took Rowan and tucked her into his arms. She looked so small there. Small and safe. Just as he’d promised, he turned his back to her. Laura quickly unbuttoned her blouse, took the tag off the T-shirt and pulled it over her head. It was a little too big, but she was okay with that. The soft cotton was comfortable, and the black wouldn’t show any lingering moisture. She wondered if he’d thought of that when he picked it out. She doubted it. Guys weren’t generally that astute. But then, Tanner was different. She’d known that for a long time. “Thanks,” she said, putting a hand on his shoulder. “The shirt’s great. Where’s the receipt? I’d like to pay you back.” Tanner turned back around, his eyebrows puckered in the middle. “Pay me back? Don’t be ridiculous. It’s just a cheap shirt. An emergency shirt.” Again the impish gleam lit his eyes. “Come on. My truck’s out front.” “Can I ask one more favor?” It was late in the afternoon. Laura had planned to be home earlier, and was tired from the running around. She really needed to put in a couple of hours on the computer tonight. “Could we make a quick stop at the grocery store? I think I’ll grab one of those rotisserie chickens from the deli section.” He chuckled, and she sent him a dark look. “Not one word about my cooking.” She took Rowan from him and then swung the diaper bag over her shoulder. “You’re really good to him, you know. He loves you a lot. I could tell.” Laura knew it was true, and sometimes it was the only thing that kept her in Gibson. “He and Gram have been very good to me, too.” She wanted to say how grateful she was that they’d never thrown the rumors in her face, but she didn’t want to open that can of worms with Tanner. “It’s the least I can do. That’s not to say I won’t try to save my sanity where I can.” She grinned. “And save him from an ulcer.” He laughed again and she realized she liked the sound of it. It was happy and carefree, two things she hadn’t been in quite some time. “The grocery store it is.” They were walking through the diner when she realized the car seat had been in her car. “Tanner? I forgot her car seat. Oh no...” Tanner walked ahead and opened the door. “I put it in my truck. I don’t have a clue how to fasten it in, but it’s there.” Relief rushed through her. Gramps fussed and went on about how in his day people simply carried babies on their laps, but she would never do that with Rowan. She needed to be buckled in securely. Safe. Protected. Laura swallowed against a lump in her throat. Everything she did these days was for Rowan’s protection. At the grocery store, Tanner offered to stay in the car with Rowan while she ran inside. Her daughter was sound asleep, so she left her in the backseat, knowing she’d be perfectly safe with Tanner. In less than ten minutes, she was back in the truck and they were on their way to her place, the interior of his vehicle smelling like roasted chicken. She and Tanner chatted about the ranch a bit, and she mentioned her graphic design work, which led to explaining what she’d been doing since leaving Gibson after high school. She left a lot of blank spaces, but then, so did he. He didn’t mention Cole or Maddy at all, and she knew why. She wished she could tell him the truth about Rowan’s father. But the more people who knew, the more likely it was to get around, and right now that secret was her biggest form of protection. He carried the grocery bags to the door while she managed Rowan and the diaper bag. When they walked in, Laura discovered her grandfather emptying the dishwasher. She nearly fell down from the shock. “Gramps!” she said, slipping off her shoes. “You don’t have to do that.” He gave his customary harrumph. “Don’t know why everyone thinks I’m helpless. I can put some dishes away now and then.” “I guess I’ll get a start on supper, then. You’ll be relieved to know I stopped and picked up a chicken.” “Are you staying, young man?” Laura’s mouth dropped open. Had Gramps just asked Tanner for supper? Oh, she hoped he wasn’t getting any ideas. Tanner Hudson was the last person she should get involved with. Talk about complicated! Besides, she was hardly looking for romance. She had her hands full right now. “Thank you, but I should probably get home.” Laura was surprised to feel disappointment at his refusal, but the last thing she wanted was for him to feel obligated. “You’re welcome to, Tanner,” she offered weakly, knowing Gramps would expect it. “It’s the least I can do for all your help. But if you need to get back to the ranch, I understand.” He rubbed his chin. “I don’t need to hurry back. I guess it would be all right.” Oh Lord. Oh Lord, oh Lord. She was actually nervous. Tanner Hudson was going to eat supper at her house. With her grandfather. After seeing her in a mess this afternoon. What on earth? He didn’t seem to care a bit about her reputation, either. And there was no way he could have remained oblivious. He had to know about the gossip. About what kind of woman she was... And that had nothing to do with Gavin Wallace and everything to do with her decisions before coming home to Gibson. Gramps patted Tanner on the shoulder. “Come on in the living room. It’s been a while since I’ve had another man to talk to.” Tanner looked over at her. “Do you need anything?” he asked. “I’m not a complete idiot in the kitchen.” She shook her head. “Thanks, but no. You go. Entertain each other.” She gave a self-deprecating grin, glanced down at the chicken and then back at him. “It’s not like it’ll take long.” He flashed her a smile that felt very intimate, as if they shared a joke. She liked, too, that he’d offered to help, and wondered if he’d said something to Gramps earlier that had prompted the dishwasher emptying, because that was an unprecedented event. As the men sat in the living room and talked about community goings-on, Laura buckled Rowan into her bouncy seat and began putting together a green salad. She then took out a pretty bowl and transferred potato salad into it rather than simply putting the tub on the table, and placed a paper napkin in a little basket and filled it with buns from the market bakery. Maybe she hadn’t cooked it, but she could at least make the meal look a bit homey. Just before everything was ready, the baby woke and Laura made a quick trip to the nursery for a change and tidy-up, and then, by some miracle, it all came together. The table was set, Rowan was playing with the activity bar on her bouncy chair and Laura called the men to supper as she put the carved chicken on the table, along with the salad bowls and butter for the buns. There was chatter, and the clinking of silverware on plates, and the odd laugh. A lump formed in Laura’s throat as she realized this was the nicest meal she’d spent in her house. It had been so long since she’d experienced a relaxed, pleasant atmosphere that she’d nearly forgotten what it was like. But as Tanner laughed at a story Gramps told, it all came rushing back to her. And it made her both a little bit happy and a little bit sad. She had been lonely for so long. And that was why, despite the grumbling and inconvenience, she’d offered Gramps a place to stay, she realized. She was so tired of being alone. After dinner, Tanner insisted on helping with the dishes, which didn’t take long at all. When they were done, he said goodbye to Gramps and then pulled on his boots and prepared to go. “Supper was good,” he said, standing in the doorway. “Thanks for having me.” “You’re welcome. And thanks for being so kind to Gramps. I think he’s been a little lost the last few days. It was good for him to have someone besides me to talk to.” “He’s a good old dude,” Tanner said. “He’s pretty proud of you, you know. Says you have gumption.” She blinked back sudden tears. “He’s not crazy about me being unmarried with a baby.” “Being a single mom is hard. He knows it. He just wishes you didn’t have to do it alone.” “He wishes I’d been smarter.” Tanner studied her for a minute. “Maybe. But I think that’s you putting words in his mouth.” He was right. She was pretty hard on herself, and she knew it. And yet Tanner didn’t seem to judge. She wondered why. “Doesn’t it bother you?” she asked bluntly. “What they say about me?” His eyes darkened. “You mean about Rowan’s father?” She nodded, nerves jumping around in her stomach. He was the first person she’d broached the topic with, and she realized that for whatever reason, she trusted him. Oh, maybe not with the truth, but he’d already proved he wasn’t about to shun her because of the grapevine. “It’s none of my business,” he stated, not unkindly. “And believe me, Laura, after all these years, I know what it’s like to have to live with mistakes. And live them down.” “You?” Granted, she’d heard he was a bit of a player, but if that was the worst anyone said about him... “Right. You were gone for a while, so maybe you don’t know. I was married once. For three whole days. In Vegas. The entire town knows about it. My best man at the time wasn’t discreet with the details.” She blinked. “You were married for three days?” “Yeah. Until we both sobered up and she came to her senses. You don’t have the corner on mistakes, Laura, and I certainly have no right to judge anyone. So no, what they say doesn’t bother me.” He leaned forward and placed a chaste, but soft, kiss on her cheek. “Take care and thanks again for dinner.” “You’re welcome. And thank you for everything today.” She smiled. “You’re starting to become my knight in shining armor.” He laughed. “Oh, hardly. Just being neighborly. Anyone else would have done the same.” He raised his hand in farewell and stepped outside. “See you around.” He fired up his truck and drove away, leaving Laura back in reality again. But it was a softer kind of reality, because for the first time in a long while, it felt as if someone might be in her corner. And she truly hadn’t realized how lonely she’d become until someone walked in and brought sunshine with him. Tanner had said that anyone would have done the same, but she knew that was a lie. She’d been in that parking lot for a good half hour with the hood up before he came along to help. Others had passed right on by. It was just too bad that Tanner Hudson was the last person she should get involved with. Even if Maddy was gracious enough to understand, she knew the town of Gibson never would. вернуться Chapter Three Tanner threw a bale of hay down the chute and followed it with two more. The physical exertion today was his form of therapy. If he had to hear one more time about how much his parents loved Maddy and how happy they were that Cole was dating her and how adorable her twin boys were, he was going to lose it. He got that the whole family was happy that Cole had fallen in love. Hell, he expected there’d be an engagement announcement any day now, and he was truly happy for his brother. But this whole love-fest thing just made Tanner feel more like a loser every day. The last thing his ex Brittany had said to him was that he’d be a joke for a husband. And seeing Cole and Maddy and his mom and dad so thrilled only seemed to highlight the fact all the more. Tanner was good for a good time. Girls loved him for that. And that was it. The problem was, it wasn’t enough for him. Not anymore. His bad mood persisted through the chores, over breakfast, and late into the morning. He decided to saddle up Bingo and go for a ride, using the excuse of checking on the calves in the east pasture. Maybe the fresh air and open space would help put him in a better frame of mind. He loved the scent of the young grass, the spears yellow-y green in their newness and the buds that were getting plump on the trees, nearly ready to leaf. Spring was a relief after a particularly harsh winter, and since that last snowfall earlier in the month, the weather had turned mild. Even if they did get a late season storm, there was a sense that the weather had truly turned a corner and there were warmer, greener days ahead. Spring was a time of year Tanner usually loved. But this year he was filled with a nagging dissatisfaction. As he walked Bingo along the fence line, he sighed. It was only partly to do with Cole. He found himself thinking about Laura quite often, too. Maddy had seemed to mellow out where Laura was concerned. Maybe that was because she was happy with Cole. But Tanner had noticed the sideways looks aimed in Laura’s direction the other day at the diner. If he noticed, he was certain she did, too. People looked at her and saw a woman who’d had an affair with a married man. But where was the blame on Gavin? Just because he was dead, it was as if he was blameless. Sometimes people put their faith and emotions in the wrong people. He knew that as well as anyone. They shouldn’t have to pay for it their entire lives. Dinner at Laura’s house a few weeks ago had made one thing clear to him. Laura Jessup was in sad need of a friend, and no one would go near her. It was as if they were afraid they’d catch something. He hadn’t seen such a lonely person in a very long time. Talking to her grandfather, Charlie, had enlightened him a fair bit. She never had friends over. Rarely went out anywhere other than errands. No wonder she’d clung to his hand the day Rowan was born. How afraid she must have been, facing that alone. When he’d given her that cheap T-shirt at the diner, she looked so surprised, so touched, that he wondered how long it had been since anyone had done anything remotely thoughtful for her. Her grandfather had also been concerned, but reserved. It wasn’t hard to see he disapproved of the situation, even though he loved her. Tanner turned Bingo around and returned to the ranch a little less on edge, but still unsettled about the whole situation. It wasn’t just Laura. His life seemed stuck in place. What was he going to do, live with his parents forever? Satisfy himself with short-term hookups now and again? That whole scene was getting old. Maybe having a place of his own would be a start. When Tanner returned to the house, he found Maddy there, helping his mom paint the back deck while the boys napped. Cole and Dad had driven down to Butte to look at some stock. Tanner was at loose ends, so once he grabbed a sandwich for lunch, he hopped in his truck and drove into town. And through town, and west. There was no sense kidding himself. He was going to see Laura. Just to see how she was making out. If there was anything she needed. He pulled into the driveway and noticed things he’d missed the last time he was here. Like how the paint was peeling on the railing of the front step. A piece of soffit was missing from the roof overhang, and one corner of her eaves trough needed to be repaired, too. Nothing major, but little things that needed fixing that she probably couldn’t do herself. Or could, but because of her situation, didn’t have the time or money. She came outside the moment he got out of the truck. He lifted a hand. “Hi,” he greeted, and a lot of the restlessness he’d felt all day dissipated at the sight of her. She wore a pair of faded jeans and a cute white top, and Rowan was on her hip, dressed in a pink flowery outfit. They made a sweet picture. “Hi, yourself. This is a surprise.” “Yeah. I’m not here at a bad time, am I?” She shook her head. “Come on in. Rowan’s up as you can see, so I’m spending some time with her and I’ll go back to work when she’s napping again.” “Work? What are you doing?” He climbed the steps and she opened the door, leading the way in. “I’m working on a web design for a new client. I only had a six-month contract at the last place, and with Ro being so little, day care’s not an option. This gives me some freedom and some income.” “That’s smart.” He followed her inside. Just like the other night, the place was spotless. His respect for her grew. She might not have much, but she took pride in what she did have. “What about Charlie?” She laughed. “Oh, he’s been back home for about a week. And thrilled about it. Gram’s still taking things slowly, but at least he’s eating better. Do you want some coffee or tea? I have both.” “Naw, I’m good.” “Then what are you doing here, Tanner?” He floundered for a moment, and then decided he might as well tell her the truth. “I guess I found myself thinking about you a lot, and wondering how you are. Wondered if you, uh, needed anything.” Her gaze turned sharp. “You feel sorry for me, is that it?” “No!” She sat at the kitchen table, so it only made sense for him to do the same. “Not sorry, per se,” he continued. “Well, crap. I have no idea how to say this in a tactful way. I’m a guy. And this is kind of like navigating a minefield.” She put Rowan on her lap and handed her a plastic ring with big, colorful keys on it. The baby shook the keys and a little giggle bubbled out of her mouth. Tanner couldn’t help the smile that tugged on his lips. The kid was so darn cute. A few short months ago she’d been tiny, all arms and legs and thin cries. He couldn’t help feeling a strange sort of attachment, knowing he’d helped bring her into the world. “You want to ask me about Gavin.” He met her gaze. She was looking at him evenly, but as though she was bracing for whatever he was going to say or ask. “Not exactly. I just noticed the other day that...” He hesitated. “Just say it, Tanner. I’ve heard it all.” He sighed. “That’s what I mean. I noticed you’re kind of, I don’t know, set apart. People treat you differently. Not mean, just...” “Polite. And look at me sideways like they’re trying to figure something out.” “Yeah. And I wanted to say I’m sorry about that. And if you need anything, you can give me a shout. I don’t judge. If Rowan is Gavin’s...well, it took two of you, and until someone walks in your shoes, they really don’t know about a situation.” She smiled softly. “That sounds very insightful. Is this about you or me?” “Maybe a little of both,” he admitted. “You didn’t know me when we were all kids. I’m a few years younger than Cole, and you were gone when I ran off to Vegas with Brittany. I screwed up, but people have long memories around here. It’s like they’ve never made a mistake in their lives.” “So what is this? Are you championing an underdog? Or maybe throwing things back in their faces? Proving they’re right about you, that you’re a screw-up by hanging around with the wrong kind of woman?” “Ouch.” A wrinkle formed between her eyebrows. “Sorry. That was me being superblunt again. I’m the first one to admit I have a bit of a chip on my shoulder.” Despite the harshness of her words, he could tell she’d asked an honest question, and he thought hard about how he would answer. Was he doing this to prove a point? Because if he was befriending her in a way that was anything less than genuine, that made him no better than anyone else. “No,” he said softly. “That’s not what I’m doing. But that was a really good question to ask, Laura.” Rowan dropped the keys on the floor. He leaned down, picked them up and handed them to her. He received a toothless grin as his reward. “It’s more that I know how it feels, and it’s wrong. I’m not afraid to be your friend if you need one. You and Rowan. I was there when she was born. It was a big moment.” He didn’t expect tears to gather in her eyes. It made the blue depths even bluer, and his heart stuttered a little. He wondered what the heck he should do now. “Sorry,” she murmured, and reached for a paper napkin to wipe her eyes. She took a few deep breaths. “Honestly, you’re the first person to say that since Gavin. That you’re my friend, that is.” “I’m sorry,” he said, and he meant it. She cuddled Rowan closer. “Tanner, I can trust you, right?” A little ripple of warning slid through him. No one asked that sort of question unless they were planning on revealing something personal. But then, he’d just said he wasn’t afraid to be her friend. So he nodded, holding her gaze. “Yeah, you can trust me.” “Because there are only two people in Gibson who know the truth besides my lawyer. One is your brother. The other is Maddy Wallace.” Gavin’s widow. “This has to do with Gavin?” She nodded. “Okay, here goes. The baby’s not his, Tanner. Gavin was a good friend, but nothing more. He was married. I would never get involved with a married man. I’ve made a lot of bad decisions, but that’s not one of them.” Tanner sat back in his chair. On one hand, he felt a surge of relief knowing she’d never slept with Gavin. But on the other, he was completely perplexed. If their relationship had been nothing more than friendship, then why didn’t she set the record straight?” “I don’t understand,” he said. “You want to know why I let everyone think otherwise.” “Well, yes!” He frowned, leaning forward again and resting his elbows on the table. “Laura, you know that people think you two had an affair. That Rowan is his. You’re deliberately letting that happen, and letting them make you an outcast. Why would you do that?” “Because the truth is worse than the lie,” she said quietly. “And as difficult as it is for me, it’s in Rowan’s best interest, and I have to put her first.” Which really didn’t explain anything. Rowan started fussing, so Laura got up and put her on her shoulder. Tanner noticed again the difference in coloring. Laura’s hair was wavy and a gorgeous auburn shade of red that he knew most women coveted and few came by naturally. Her skin was creamy white with a few light freckles, her eyes a clear summer blue. Rowan, while having the same pale skin tone, had perfectly straight dark brown hair, and her eyes were blue, but not the same vibrant shade as her mother’s. Gavin’s hair had been brown like that, too, but he couldn’t remember the man’s features well enough to know if there was any imagined resemblance. To the townspeople, the implication was enough. He knew that people often saw what they wanted to. Such was the power of suggestion. So if Gavin wasn’t the father, who was? And why was that truth so much worse than letting the world think Rowan was Gavin Wallace’s? “Tanner? Let’s go into the living room. She’s got a bouncy seat in there that she loves. It’s almost nap time anyway, and I can explain a little better.” He followed her into the living room and sat on the sofa while she settled Rowan in the little chair and gave it a bounce. The girl’s face lit up and she smacked at the toys on the activity bar in front of her. “Best thing I bought for her,” Laura said, smiling. “She loves it and it’s saved my sanity more than once. Now that she’s awake longer through the day, she gets bored.” She sat in the chair to the right of him and let out a big breath. “I suppose I need to elaborate a bit, don’t I?” Did she? Was it really any of his business? He thought about what it meant to be a good friend. He had friends, but Cole was really the guy he was closest to. And even then, there were things his brother didn’t know. Tanner totally understood how it felt to want to keep the darkest parts hidden away. Curious as he was, he knew how he had to answer. “Tell me only if you want to,” he said. “You don’t owe me any sort of an explanation at all.” “And that’s very generous of you. And surprising.” “Like I told you before, I’ve had a few moments that are not my finest. I don’t judge.” She smiled at him then, a soft curving of her lips that reached in and grabbed him right by the heart. It was sweet, and perhaps a bit vulnerable—something he hadn’t seen in her up to this point. Except for one moment, last December. When she’d had a particularly nasty contraction and she’d reached out for his hand in the ambulance. She’d looked so scared and yet so trusting. “You know, I’m starting to believe that’s true,” she whispered. There was a long pause, and then she put her hands on her knees. “You’ve been nothing but kind to me, and I trust you. So here’s the truth, leaving out some names if that’s okay with you.” “You can tell me as much or as little as you like.” She looked relieved. “The truth is, up until last spring I lived in Nevada, in Reno. I was working for a small graphic design company and my roommate tended bar. Through her, I met this guy and we went out a few times. He was really handsome and charming, and he said he was in sales.” She laughed bitterly. “Pharmaceutical sales. God, I was so dumb, so naive,” she said, giving a bitter laugh. “Anyway, it was a bit of a whirlwind thing. But then he said he was being transferred to a new territory for a few months and he ended it. A few months later, he came back, and he was still handsome, still charming...but something felt off. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but there was an edginess to him that hadn’t been there before. A...hardness. I think I knew I should end things, but I told myself I was imagining it. I ignored all my instincts.” Tanner didn’t like where this was going. At all. “Did he hurt you?” he asked gently. Her eyes clashed with his, but she shook her head a little. “No, not like that. He never laid a hand on me. He came into my work and wanted to start up where we left off, and I fell for his charms all over again. I let him stay with me at my apartment until he found a new job. But after a few weeks back together, I knew it wasn’t what I wanted. I didn’t feel safe, though I couldn’t explain why. A few times, some guys showed up at my door, and I knew he wasn’t honest about who they were. All my internal alarms were ringing and so I decided I needed to break it off.” Tanner hadn’t realized he’d been holding his breath until she paused and he let it out. “And then what happened?” “The day before I was going to do it, the cops came and arrested him. He totally lost it when they showed up, and God, it was so ugly. He was charged with violating his parole, assault and battery and possession of a controlled substance. I had no idea about the drugs. Turns out that transfer? He wasn’t working. He was in prison.” Her normally sparkly eyes had dimmed, her lips thinned to a straight, disapproving line. “He wasn’t a pharmaceutical rep at all. He was dealing. To kids. And I was too blind to see the signs. By then it was too late.” Tanner didn’t say anything; he simply sat quietly while she composed herself. He knew what it was like when you found out the person you thought you loved turned out to be totally different. Though at least Brit hadn’t been a felon. Just...not who he thought she was. “The baby’s his?” he finally asked. She nodded miserably. “When they left with him, he looked right at me and said he’d be back, just like last time. Not to worry, he’d come find me when he got out. The way he said it...it made my blood run cold. It wasn’t reassuring. It was a threat. If he knew about Rowan...” Tanner looked from her to the sweet baby bobbing in the bouncy chair. The two of them weren’t his, but damned if he didn’t feel protective of them just the same. “He’d come after you both.” She nodded again. “Yeah. I had to give a statement to the police and I found out a lot about his past. I was so stupid, Tanner. So blind. I believed every lie he fed me. How many kinds of idiot could I be? And then to get pregnant...” The agony in her voice was real. “I’m pretty sure you didn’t mean for that to happen,” he said quietly. He got up and moved to the end of the sofa so he was closer to her, and he reached out and put his hand on her knee. “Listen. Remember that marriage I mentioned? I was totally in love with this girl Brittany from Lincoln. She and a couple of girlfriends moved to Vegas, and I thought I’d surprise her one weekend. It was crazy.” He decided to leave out some of the more sordid details about the weekend activities. “By the end of it, we’d gotten married at a chapel on the Strip.” “Oh.” “Yeah. Oh. And when I asked how long it would take her to pack up and come home with me, she laughed. She had no plans to leave. She loved it there. She loved the lights and the excitement and the party. She certainly didn’t love me. It was all a crazy, fun adventure to her.” “And you were dead serious.” “You betcha.” He smiled wryly, trying not to think of the moment when Brittany had all but fallen over laughing at him. “We all make mistakes. And I guess now I understand why you haven’t set the record straight. Because you’ll take the gossip if it means keeping your daughter safe.” A tear slid down her cheek. “Oh, damn. I spent enough time crying. You’d think I’d be over it by now.” She rubbed the tear away. “It’s such a relief to actually tell someone, and I think it’s made me super-emotional. Maddy only knows the bare minimum and no details. I couldn’t stand the thought of her thinking Gavin had cheated on her any longer. He loved her so much.” “But it’s rough on you.” “It’s worth it if Rowan stays safe.” “Damn, Laura. Why not move somewhere else, where no one knows?” Once more she looked into his eyes, and he saw shadows there. “The only way I could get this house was if Gramps and Gram cosigned the loan, and that was before all the rumors. There’s no way I’ll get financing for another place, not with the little bit of freelancing I’m doing. And I’m having a hard time building the business because I don’t want to put my full name on anything. It’ll make it too easy to find me, you know?” “So you’re stuck.” “Yep. I mean, I grew up here, but it doesn’t mean it’s not awkward.” Awkward was putting it lightly. “Gavin was helping you, wasn’t he?” “Yeah, with some of the legalities. And he did the legal fees for the house pro bono. His partner’s been keeping me updated on Spen...on my ex’s sentence.” She sighed, looked down at Rowan. The bouncing had stopped, and Tanner saw that each blink of Rowan’s eyes was slower than the last. “I feel like I’m spinning my wheels.” Her shoulders were slumped a bit as she rested her elbows on her knees. “I want to start over, but it’s hard to do when you want to remain invisible. At least with the contract work, my name was kept out of it. But if I’m going to freelance, I can’t stay anonymous. Even if I’m careful, it’s not hard to find the trail.” “Too bad you can’t change your name,” he replied, half joking. “Then he’d be looking for Laura Jessup and not Laura someone else.” A crazy, ridiculous, ludicrous idea flitted through his brain. No. She’d never agree and besides, it was a dumb idea. He kept hearing Brit laugh and say how he wasn’t husband material. Maybe not, but perhaps he could be friend material. No one else was stepping up to give Laura a hand. The only one who had was gone, and she had no one to be on her side. Plus, he was tired of living at home. This could be beneficial to both of them. “Laura, how open are you to harebrained schemes?” She lifted her head, chuckled softly. “Why? Do you have one?” Something twisted in his gut, in an oh-my-God-are-you-really-going-to-ask way. His palms started to sweat and his breath caught. He’d said the words once before in his life, but this time it was different. This time it wasn’t for love. So why was he so tied up in knots? “I just might. And you’re going to be tempted to say no, but hear me out.” Her eyebrows pulled together in a puzzled look. “Laura,” he said, not quite believing what he was about to say. “I think we should get married.” вернуться Chapter Four Laura started laughing. Marry Tanner? That was the most ridiculous thing she’d ever heard. “Oh God,” she said, between breaths of mirth. “You shouldn’t even joke about that.” He was chuckling, too, which was why his next words surprised her even more. “I’m actually perfectly serious. I’ve wanted to move out of the house for a while now. And if you married me, you could be Laura Hudson. Laura Hudson could set up her own business in that name and not be so easy for this guy to find.” Her laughter died in her throat. She was starting to think he meant it. Her face went hot. Sure, Tanner was good-looking. Extraordinarily so, but she hadn’t really thought of him in a romantic kind of way. For a moment, an image flashed through her mind—of her and Tanner doing things that married couples do. Her face burned hotter. “Tanner, I... I mean, you and me...” He seemed to understand what she was getting at. “Laura, I’m not talking about a real marriage. It would be in name only, of course. We hardly know each other.” “My point exactly.” She exhaled a relieved breath. They were, at best, friends. Their contact had been limited to the ambulance ride to the hospital, running into each other and chatting on a few occasions in town, and the events of the last few weeks. Sure, she liked him well enough, but she wouldn’t be roommates with someone she knew so little of, let alone husband and wife. Husband and wife. He leaned forward, put his elbows on his knees and peered into her face. “You said you were hesitant to put out your shingle online because it made you too visible. Even if you use a company name, your contact info is going to be listed somewhere. When you register your website, or fill out business forms for taxes and stuff.” All true, but it wasn’t as simple as a different last name. “Tanner, it’s not like it would be impossible to figure it out, even if I did change my name. There’d be marriage records to show that I was once Laura Jessup.” “Maybe,” he conceded, “but it would make it more difficult. And if you’re married, chances are that even if this guy did find you, he’d probably think that the baby was, well, your husband’s.” “Yours,” she said, the word echoing in the strangely quiet room. “Yes.” Silence fell. He’d hit her squarely where it hurt—her daughter. Her top priority was protecting Rowan. It was why, after all, she let the town of Gibson collectively assume that the baby was Gavin’s...even though that made her an adulteress and a home wrecker. But this was different. This was marriage. A wedding. And she wasn’t sure what Tanner wanted to get out of it. There must be something. There was no way it was a purely altruistic move. Good gracious, was she actually considering it? Of course she wasn’t. Harebrained was a great way to characterize the idea. She’d made enough mistakes over the last few years; she wasn’t too keen to compound them by marrying a stranger just so she could change her name. She got up and walked to the window, looking out over the backyard. The grass was greening up, but there were dry, bare patches where the ground was hard and unyielding. Laura sighed. Yes, she had her own place, but it wasn’t much. She kept it clean, but it was hardly better than the lousy apartments in Reno. Rundown and unloved. Funny, she was starting to think of herself in those terms, too. Marrying Tanner was a stupid idea. She’d just keep on doing what she was doing and figure it out somehow. She always did. “Tanner, I appreciate the offer, but I don’t need to be rescued. It’s a crazy idea and I think it would be a disaster.” “Why? I like you. And I think you like me.” He smiled at her. “We’d be roommates, that’s all. No funny business, I promise.” |