-He is douchebag! I told you that all these Spanish men pathological crooks. I told you from the beginning that he is baboon! And you argued with me... Why should he cheat? Because!

-Yes, he told me...

- By the way, I think that he married five times because otherwise nobody agreed to have sex with him.

-Maybe... In general, you can"t save money, can"t travel around and... I mean, nothing exciting. A food is just nasty. My stomach started to hurt.

-You would eat less there. You probably eat twice as usual.

-Why twice? Maybe a little bit... Anyway, nothing to do here... The first week maybe I ate too much, because it was unusual food. And now I mostly eat fruits. Just to shit properly.

-What going on at work? It is already the third week has gone. Have you done something?

-Yeah... Do some small stuff here and there. But you know, I have absolutely no mood. Francisco sent me to a kiln area for measurements. And near the smelting furnace, the heat is wild. I sweated in three minutes! A real sauna.

- Poor little Nikolay! You got sweat. I hope it was no wind draft there?

-What's so funny?! Yesterday I didn"t get sick, but tomorrow or after tomorrow I will. And the lungs inflammation not have been canceled yet. And you know, I have antibiotic allergy. If something happened, I can"t reach Canada.

8

Next time Nikolay phoned in about a week.

-Well, Mr. Grechko, tell me. How is Panama doing?

-What you want me to tell? I'll probably wait another two weeks, go back home, and then I'll quit. I'll start to look for a normal job in Toronto. I"m so tired.

-Oh boy... Have you already gave up in a four weeks?!

-Yes somehow everything is sour and bitter here. I hate this glowing sun! I'm probably allergic to this sun. Something happened to my body - it"s began to itch.

-May be it"s itchy because of women absence?

-Hm-m, I guess. Hmmm... I have one story to tell... Well, I went the other night in this adjacent village. There they have a bar and there's a kind of dancing. One guy from locals explained me how to get there from the bus stop. It is really not too far - about 10 minutes to walk. The village is small, maybe 10 thousand people. And I run out of beer, so I decided to combine these two businesses.

-Kind of - if I do not find the girls, so at least I'll warm up.

-Yes. If I don"t find a girl, then at least I'll buy a beer. I got there about 8 p.m., and the last bus to the plant goes at 10p.m.

-Well okay. You just got an hour and a half to find the girl, five minutes to get behind the barn for emotional sex, buy the beer and run back to the bus stop.

-Koifman, I immediately feel that I"m talking to project engineer. Everything calculated by the minute, as in the work schedule. Ha-ha-ha. In short, I came to this local "night club"...

-Are you went there alone?

-Of cause alone. You refused go with me.

-Oh yeah! Otherwise we would shake this village upside down. The population would increase in three times in this village...

-You better listen further. I tried to convince people, nobody agreed. One neighbor is already was drunk in the smoke. Romanian, in my opinion, even afraid go to the toilet. He probably believes that still leaves under communism regime and shaking.

-And what your Spanish speaking friends?

-They are morons! Not kidding. In the evenings they sit in their house, put drawings on the table, and something discuss in Spanish. From their conversation I just can pick up some international words, like: a conveyor belt, a bolt, and, more briefly, something related to the job. I thought they are "hot machos"...

-And they are cold engineers.

-Well yes. More legends about these Spanish machos. Now listen further... Well, came to the night club. Just for you to understand - the village club in Siberia in comparison with this barn, this is like a Kremlin Palace in comparison with your house. It's dark, noisy and dirty. Sits a dozen local machos. All small, like children. Leo, absolutely honestly, everybody with difficulties maximum can reach to my navel. Well, women, even lower! One foot lower than local machos and age can"t be determined at all. If I would meet her in Toronto I will be sure that she is twelve years old. Well, a maximum of thirteen. Okay, came already to this children garden. I sat down at the table, took a beer and smile to people around. They looked at me from the beginning with interest, and then got used to it. I sat for half an hour, sucked already two beers, but no one came up. Okay, I took a third beer. And time goes by. And beer cost five bucks! In an hour the bus departs. Literally, I"m running out of time. Not funny. Then it seemed to me that one of these "teenagers" looking at me and smiling. I winked at her and showed her a glass of beer. She kind of nods and smiles. Coming over. Well, I took her a beer and ask: Como estaz siniora?

-Wow. Sounds strong. Do you know Spanish?

-From where? But in critical situations, I probably can speak Chinese. She started mumbling something in Spanish, and I with an intelligent look answer: "Si siniora, si." And she laughs loudly.

-So maybe she asked you: Nikolay, are you an idiot? And when you answered: "Si, Si" she laugh...

-I don"t care who asked and what. I would like come to my business as soon as possible, especially only 30 minutes left before the bus departure. Then she again told me something and went to the exit. Well, I understand that she kind of hints me. I quickly finished the beer and followed her. Well, we are going somewhere. Dark. Strange. She tells me something, and I just repeat "si-si seniora". And she laughs all the time. Well, I'm thinking to myself: "the bus has only 15 minutes to leave. So... If right now I'll run to the bus stop, and even during my way back I don"t get lost, then maybe I'll be in time. And on the other hand tomorrow it is Saturday, so if she leads me to her place, then I can easily spend the night with her". Finally we approached a crooked cabin from the wooden shields. She went inside, and I remained standing outside. She didn"t show to me that she invites me to come in. I'm waiting. It is already too late run to the bus stop. About ten minutes later the door opens and some aboriginal guys with little children came out. They saw me and told me something in Spanish, and after that they started to laugh, but not aggressively. I would say friendly.

-Of cause, not every day clowns from Canada performs acrobatic focus "si-si senior", - evil joked Leo.

- Anyway, I got completely confused. What exactly going on...They probably thought I was kind of potential groom? In short, I told them: "si, si senioras", and slowly started to move aside. After that just run away from this place.

-I got confused as well... Are they her parents? Or maybe she is a prostitute and they came to protect her from problematic client?

-This is what I"m talking about! I have no clue what it was, who against whom and didn"t understand at all what exactly happened. Whatever. It's cold at night, so I would not want to sleep on the street. In general, I went to a bus stop. I hoped maybe I'll catch a taxi to the factory. And then Leo, you will not believe - I got lucky! From liquor store one guy from our factory is coming out! I jumped on him, almost hugged. In general, I happily bought five boxes of beer and we went back to the factory.

-It"s hell of the story... Lucky you, so lucky. Say thanks to God for not be beaten. You could find much more problematic adventures on your ass.

-Absolutely. No doubts, it could be much more painful. They could get out a machete and check my guts.