And, knowing your passionate love for communism, I feel inclined to tell you one secret: the communist pie will soon fall out of the sky.

Andrei: Damn, man, do you think it’s funny?

Victor: I’m absolutely serious. But let’s dwell on it later. The sun is such a treat today that I don’t want to spoil the enjoyment with talk of politics.

Bachkov: Wake up, wake up, you loonies! Everybody here, get up, get dressed, make your beds, wash your f-f-f-asses. Who’s scrubbing today? Victor Vasilievich? Here’s the instrument for the master. Voronin, grab your towel and clear out, quick to the observation ward!

Voronin: What for, Captain?

Bachkov: For too much eating and polluting the air.

Addressing a young man standing with his things in the doorway: Come in, this glutton will clear out soon, and you can settle in.

Voronin to the newcomer: Come in. What’s your name?

Fedorovich, a young man in his early twenties: Victor.

in the locker. What’s this you have, cheese? Can I

Voronin, offering his hand: Valery. Put your things have a little?

Fedorovich: It’s a smoked cheese, I don’t know if you’ll like it…

Voronin: Thank you, I like all cheese, especially smoked. Oh, it’s fresh. Know the story about Red Riding Hood? Well, Red Riding Hood was walking in the woods, and bumped into the Wolf…

Bachkov reappearing in the doorway: Voronin, I’ll have you tied to the bunk!

Voronin: Coming, Captain!

Singing: Among untrodden mountain paths there’s one that’s mine…

Fedorovich, sitting down on the vacant cot, taking a look around and spotting Sasha: Hey, Sasha! You’re already here?

Sasha: Hi, Vitya! Come over here for a chat.

To Andrei lying on the next bunk: A good guy, Vitya Fedorovich, we live near each other. To Fedorovich, sitting down on his cot: How come you’re here?

Fedorovich showed his bandaged left forearm.

Sasha: Slashed your wrist? Why?

Fedorovich: Had to, got into a fix… Let’s go out and have a smoke.

Sasha: Go ahead. Shoot, these guys are OK. Anyway, our toilet is teeming with snitches.

Fedorovich: There’s little to say. I was just trying to buy a little gold, so I went to a pawn-shop in Moscow to see who’s bringing in what, and tried to offer my own price. I was arrested there and then.

Sasha: Jeez! Are you really mad? To do such a crazy thing to get this serious rap? There are always undercover cops slouching about such places, besides the guys who want to engage in gold and hard currency speculation first make sure they have reliable suppliers and buyers, then they take the risks. You, instead, did such childishly stupid thing as to go straight to a pawn-shop!

Fedorovich: I just wanted to give it a try. You know people take to the pawn-shops lots of precious things, and the state buys them up, paying by weight – a sheer pittance. So I thought of giving it a try: to make a little money and do people a good turn, too, because what they get paid by the state is nothing but legalized robbery in broad daylight.

Sasha: Well, you are a damned fool, Vitya.

Fedorovich: Not just I, Alex the Afghan was with me too.

Sasha: God, what fools! You aggravated your case by conspiracy and group felony, a good prospect of 15 years! Who arrested you?

Fedorovich: Moscow’s CID.

Sasha: Too bad.

Andrei: Why?

Fedorovich: They treat you Gestapo style there. Alex tried to keep silent at his first interrogation, so they took him back to the cell, and gave him such a whaling that I, returning from my own questioning to our cell, almost peed in my pants: it was all smeared in blood.

Andrei: Did they beat you up too?

Fedorovich: No, I was more lucky. When they told me they would beat the shit out of me unless I confessed, I warned them I had a heart problem, that my father has a degree in cardiology and works at a Moscow regional clinic where I undergo regular examinations. This actually saved me from being killed or crippled.

Sasha: Yes, it’s nice to have a father with a degree in cardiology. How come you are here?

Fedorovich: The CID knew better than to get involved with me, so they passed me to Schelkovo Police

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